MILF HUNTRESS

I just set my one year post op appointment for my breast implants.  So I am about 3 months overdue.  Oh well.  The real reason I am going is because I am having some rippling.  This comes from the implants not being filled enough…which….I was supposed to have 800 shells filled to 900 CC.   If anyone has been with me long enough they will remember that I had my prior implants redone because I still had space to fill after such a dramatic weight loss.  I came out of my second surgery looking exactly the same as before which left a real WTF (?!?!?!?!?) moment in my head.  My prior implants being a 600 shell filled to 660 CC.  Meaning from what I ordered, (and supposedly received), I should have gone up 240 CC’s.  This would have made a noticeable difference, and I should have gone up a bra size, which I did not.  ANYWAY, after the initial disappointment, I went on with my life, because I didn’t have time, will, or the energy for a law suit, and what could I do to prove my case?  Take out my breasts?  So I said “F-ck it”.  Anyway, I still have space to fill, and now the rippling (which means I wasn’t overfilled as requested).  So instead of law suit, I am going to discuss cost of opening me back up and overfilling the implants I have now by 200-250 CC’s.  I would like to see if this could be done under local.  Eventually I will get the tits I requested.

I think it’s really, really, really funny, that last time I went out all the girls were like, “SHOW US YOUR TITS!!”…and all the guys were like, “OMG!!!  CHECK OUT HER F-CKING TRAPS!!!”  Something to appeal to both sexes?  lol

Just a bit of a handful.

Yes, no room is safe from random acts of flexxing.  Not even the potty room at the Diamond Bowl.  It was my friend Jill’s surprise party, and I was a little tequila’ed.  Had to be to face everyone after 11 years of absence.  Late into the party, a man came up to me and said, “Your tits are the talk of the night.   All the men are gaping, all the women jealous.”  I beg to differ.  My breasts are not that large to be attention getting.  What people don’t realize is, they think they are looking at my tits.  What they are really looking at is the total package.  Delts, biceps, triceps, back, waist, hips, ass, calves.  Those fake titties of mine….are just the final blow.

I don’t know why people act like my boobs are so huge.  I’m a humble 36 C.  I am unhappy to tell you this but there it is.  Two boob jobs later, and I can still hardly fill my own mother’s bra.  Only slightly larger than what I was in high school.

This doesn’t keep people from acting as though my breasts are humongous.  I was actually approached at the mall last week.  Young woman comes up, “Please don’t be offended, but I’ve just got to ask you.  Are your boobs real?”   “They’re real to me, I answered, but yes, I had a boob job.”  I then explained that I had lost 100 lbs and after 4 years of breastfeeding had been left with skin flaps.  I won’t do that again in the future.  There’s really no need to.  It’s nobody’s business.

Then there are the girls my daughters go to school with.  One asked, ”Does your mom have implants?”  Daughter said yes.  Girl said, “Well I don’t understand it because from the car she drives she shouldn’t be able to afford it.”  I said to daughter, ”Tell her that boobs are cheap and I paid for them myself.” 

What can I say?  Some people like nice cars.  I like nice tits.

I think it is fairly funny that I didn’t allow Barbie in the house for years.  When family members bought them for my daughters, (as they always did, despite persistent protest), I gave them to Goodwill.  This year, Barbie graces the top of our Christmas Tree as we couldn’t find our angel.  Middle daughter, when mad at mommy, likes to bend off Barbie’s head and call her Bitch.  Hubbie calls me Muscle Barbie.  The woman whose hair I cut at the roots, and legs cut off at the knee caps, I suddenly have something in common with!  Enmity and fake tits.

Hello everyone. Thank you so much for your going away comments. I have been collecting each and every one like little prisms of rainbow coloured crystal. Yes it is very hard for me to stop. Yes, I love self expression and will have to find a different avenue. Perhaps interpreting art through creative movement. I did this once with my 3 kids and sister-in-law at The KC Museum of Modern Art, and it was funny as hell. I am going to miss telling you all about my private life, because I have found (Surprise, surprise!) that I am an emotional exhibitionist. Among other things. (Pictures still to come.) How else will I stay inspired? But here is the deal. I love my new full-time job. If you look deep into my eyes, you will see that they are now a deeper shade of purple green than ever before. This is because my mind is consistently filled with the idea of great green dollar bills…..and what I am about to do with them. While I do not believe that my little bodybuilding blog poses a threat to my job, (private life and work life being separate); I do believe that blogging with my community being aware of my blog, puts me at great risk of being, well,……just darned uncomfortable. After all, if someone comes in and rejects my overflowing maternal kindness, I want to know that it is because of my large and jutting breasts trapped tightly betwixt ill-fitting sweaters, not my naughty internet verbage.

Happy 4th!!!  I am celebrating my All American Freedom today by grabbing my right to enjoy a couple of hours family free before heading to the yearly family party/dinner/firework display. 

Got my peanut butter apple sandwich on whole grain flax bread, got my low carb Mad Energy Drink, got my internet duckies on another site all lined in a row, got my White Stripes blasting in my ear.  Life is good. 

Had a nice, "Welcome back Miss Maddi" workout this morning.  A total of 45 minutes cardio…kindof low impact, but there you have it.  Also about 12 sets triceps, rope pushdowns, v-bar pushdowns, db kickbacks.  Another 8-10 sets for my delts. Just enough to say, "Hey girl!" 

Now last year I celebrated the 4th in the same fashion.   It was the day I made my pec flex video.  I remember this, because I was thinking, "God bless America!!!" as I flexxed into the camera. 

HOWEVER you choose to celebrate your freedom this year, by all means, please do celebrate.  The United States of America.  For all it’s faults and flaws,….there’s absolutely no place like home. 

With the exception of my new implants that are not new implants, life is going well. 

I go full-time on Monday!  

That ball is rolling quickly and I am excited! 

I am not even going to tell you how long it’s been since I worked full time. 

Let’s just say Warrant and White Lion were all the rage, and Baywatch and Beverly Hills 90210 were both in their hey-day. 

I have benefits for the first time in my life….EVER!

 Including my first ever paid holiday which is tomorrow.

(I have to say something for my boss’ great timing!)

I will also be receiving free medical, monthly flex-time, and a retirement plan. 

 I feel really good about my decision.  I also feel absolutely great physically.  I’d say about as good as new. 

I took today off from the gym, it being my first day without sutures. 

I have this odd fantasy of my skin falling down to my knees while I am running or ellipticaling. 

Tomorrow I will be back, and I think I will push things just a bit.  Maybe work a little tri’s, as long as it is nothing overhead. 

I am speaking new and bigger tits into existence. 

I mean, where does a sexy refined lady of 37 have to go to get a set of Jerry Springer knockers? 

Looking at the old cover of one of my Flex Magazines, I see this title.

 ”A HUGE NEW YOU IN 12 WEEKS!” 

The OCD in me, working to my benefit,  says, yeah. 

In 12 weeks Doc Beautiful will fix his mistake.  And at no cost to me. 

In 12 weeks I will have the Ms Marvel breasts of my dreams. 

San Kalpa.

Ooh, kindof tired tonight.  A big 20 minutes on the treadmill today.  Yes, it was my second day back at the gym.  I  feel like such an old fart or a beginner with my little walking routine.  Still, I am banned from weights, and just had my stitches removed today.  So what’s a girl to do?  I did cheat and do 8 sets for my biceps yesterday.  I was pulled over there by an invisible force called lack of self control.  I focused on the bicep and made sure not pull any pectorals into the action. Today I went to the doctor with my folder full of pictures in hand.  In a bikini and in flesh alone.  In some pictures, the former implants look even bigger than the ones I have today.  Still I got to his office and I backed down.  I took off my clothes, stood naked before him, and I didn’t say a peep.  I like this man.  I have my little school girl crush on this older, sophisticated, attractive, very vascular forearmed, highly successful gentleman.  I have dreams of him taking me overseas.  I have visions of him adopting me and making me his pygmalion project.   So how in the world can I accuse him of giving me the wrong sized implants?  But there it sits….the answer is as plain as my chest and the pictures to prove it.  I am in a quandry. Here is how I am choosing to look at it.  (And all of such matters is a choice in life.)  I can look at it as "Why me"?  Or I can look at it as a lesson learned.  LADIES…Always ask to see your implants before you are put out for surgery.  This way there is never a question or a doubt in your mind. Also, I have to ask myself.  Why did I attract this?  What do I have personally to learn from this?  And even better yet…what GOOD will come from this? I know something good will come from this. Now it is just a question of seeing what and when.