MILF HUNTRESS

I was contacted by Dan Ray again.  This time I am really going to do it.  He suggested coming out in the next 2 weeks and I said, “Not unless you are switching over to plus sized fitness modeling”.  lol  So now we are tentatively set for end of May, beginning of June.  This gives me something to shoot for and I intend to put my all into it.  I have seen the beautiful work this man has done, and am very excited to get my chance in front of his camera.  Bodybuilding.com is littered with photos from women he has shot.  As well as his web-site, Buffbunnies.com.  I am 38 & 3/4.  Not much time left to take a beautiful photo.  I am very blessed to have this opportunity. 

Please don’t be concerned when I refer to myself as “pig meat” “horse flesh”.  I only do this to turn myself on.  Yes all the signs were there, but I couldn’t see it.  Too busy working, conforming to middle class America.  I finally asked my husband the other night and he said, “I have learned to say nothing”.  Five minutes later he told me I was “beefy”.  Another two minutes and he used the word “plump”.  I flexxed my bicep for him publicly and he shut the f-ck up.  Yes, intimidation.  At least he didn’t use the word “portly”.  That might have been the final straw.

My diet is day 3 and sucking ass.  And I’m not even hardcore yet.  I’ve been eating meatloaf by the 1/2 lb.  Yet I can’t have nuts and I can’t have chocolate.  That is kind of getting to me.  Supposedly I also can’t have strawberries, though I had 4 yesterday.  So we’ll see where this road might take me.  Maybe to nowhere.  Maybe that is where I want to be.

Muscle wad is gone for the weekend. This leaves me with noone to harrass but the kids and they’re all gone too.  I’m beginning to care deeply for muscle wad which may or may not be a good or bad sign.  Not as in relationship/ownership care.  That’s an impossibility.  But as in nephew/son I never had care.  Only I want to see him naked and in stirrups.

See, I’m supposed to be doing a little 20-20-10 cardio thing 3 days per week.  A 5-5-5-5 number 2 days per week, and a 45 & 60 the other 2 days.  I’ve been lucky to squeeze out a 20 any day at all.  Where is my f-cking motivation?

If I have to buy red balloons and stirrups to stay inspired…..so be it.

Right now I am still stuffed from last night’s dinner, so of course enthusiasm and optimism are high.  I haven’t dieted or even thought of dieting for a year now.  My intentions are to keep it a bit low key.  Not the central focus of my life, just an accepted and required part.  I am going to enjoy the privacy and lack of pressure this time around.  No videos to prepare.  No competitors to compare with.  I did all the inner work last time.  This effort will be based upon my will power and desire for the goal alone.  I have 8 weeks.  This is day one.