MILF HUNTRESS

Mmmmm, so what a beautiful night and what a beautiful life.  I have some of the greatest family, some of the greatest friends, a very sweet job, a body I love, golden opportunities abound……and I am very very happy with my life.  I am happy with the way things are going for my children, and I can honestly say things are only going to get better.  These are my happy years.

Pulled my card for tonight.  Ah, 2 of Swords.

Standard Tarot Interpretation:

• Flow
• Trust
• Choice
• Balance
• Patience
• Openness
• Buoyancy
• Confidence
• Preparedness
• Psychic Reliance
• Tacit Understanding

In the spirit of duality and balance (suggested by the number two), two of swords interpretations commonly focus on split decisions or opposing choices.

As swords are symbolically wielded in the realm of thought and communication, this card deftly illustrates the status of “being of two minds” about something.

Some interpreters will read the blindfold (and even the swords) as a message of complication, confusion, or frustration in making communicative or intellectual decisions.

Maddi interpretation:

Maddi blindfolded and holding two cocks.

Everyone is looking for the same things in this world.  Love, happiness, purpose, connection.  I believe we are all entitled to find these things in our own way, correct?  I find these things through fitness.  I find these things through the wearing of very little clothing.  I have always had an inner nudist.  I just never enjoyed my body enough to let her out.  I made love in the dark.  I covered up at the swimming pool.   But I have always admired the fine physique.  Perhaps since I was 18 months and young hot police officer uncle (go figure) walked by me in a dripping wet towel and I pointed upward at him saying, “pretty man”.  Yes, I have always known physical beauty when I have seen it.  The naked body is God’s greatest art..and the greatest art throughout history has reflected this fact.  We are born into this world naked.   And if it weren’t for our good friends at the corner mortuary, we would be buried so.  Ashes to ashes, dirt to dirt.  Little Miss Maddi your skirt’s in the dirt.  …I can not wait to take my clothes off. 

Had a very interesting hour+ conversation with Brian Moss tonight.  Yes we hit many topics dear to my heart.  My conversion from fat to fit, how sexuality/sensuality/ and the repression of my 20’s played into all of that.  How he perceives the bodybuilding woman, how I do.  Yes, yes, very interesting indeed.  So now we are talking about a trip to New York and what I know will be a very interesting photo shoot.  Much food for thought.  I drew a tarot out of my Women’s Wisdom deck for my role with Mr Moss.  The card was Partnership:Risk vs. Safety.  The picture portrays a woman running/leaping.  Her bosom is exposed and a man is jumping out from behind the bushes pulling on the loose garment/blanket wrapped loosely around her hips and genitals.  The picture leaves it to the viewers discretion whether this is a playful gesture.  It also leaves it to the viewers discretion whether the woman is leaping or falling.  The man himself is thinly veiled as his garment-robe is falling off him as well.  Next I pulled a card from the same deck for me and myself alone.  This card reads Self-Expression: Perfection vs. Imperfection.  Pictured is a woman, young Aphrodite with Cupid draped around her one slightly bent leg.  Aphrodite is nude; either handing or receiving a golden apple from another young lad as a male and female onlooker watch on.  The picture leaves it to viewer discretion as to who is passing the apple.  I believe it is Aphrodite passing the apple to the young lad, as the boy looks rather in earnest.  Self-Expression: Perfection vs. Imperfection.  Is this not the perfect word picture for exposure of the flesh?  We reveal our imperfections in both body and mind,.. only to find that we are indeed perfect after all.  I did tell Mr Moss tonight that I draw the line at bananas.  We all must have our limits.

I am not so much into puppy dog love.  More into kitty-kat loving.  As in, me cat, you mouse.  I want to see you under me…..and unmoving.  I do have a distinct sadistic streak.  Only a few highly blessed souls are ever exposed to this side of me.  I think they are the fortunate ones.  If you wake up and I am above you, I may be sucking your breath.  This only means I care about you.

Lo! ’tis a gala night
Within the lonesome latter years!
An angel throng, bewinged, bedight
In veils, and drowned in tears,
Sit in a theatre, to see
A play of hopes and fears,
While the orchestra breathes fitfully
The music of the spheres.

Mimes, in the form of God on high,
Mutter and mumble low,

And hither and thither fly-
Mere puppets they, who come and go
At bidding of vast formless things
That shift the scenery to and fro,
Flapping from out their Condor wings
Invisible Woe!

That motley drama- oh, be sure
It shall not be forgot!
With its Phantom chased for evermore,
By a crowd that seize it not,
Through a circle that ever returneth in
To the self-same spot,

And much of Madness, and more of Sin,
And Horror the soul of the plot.

Out- out are the lights- out all!
And, over each quivering form,
The curtain, a funeral pall,
Comes down with the rush of a storm,
While the angels, all pallid and wan,
Uprising, unveiling, affirm
That the play is the tragedy, “Man,”
And its hero the Conqueror Worm.

Edgar Allen Poe

I am very selective about the things I put into my body, as well as the people that I talk to.  I won’t be friends with just anyone.  A person has to grab my attention and have a mind that my mind would like to know.  It amazes me how many sad and lonely people there are in the world.  Hairdressers see it, doctors, barmaids,..yes, librarians also.  Anywhere you work with the public you see sad and pathetic masses.  I don’t know.  Maybe I’ve just turned into a bitch.

So me and hubby decided to go out tonight straight after I got off work from the Rosetta Library.  This started with the town Mexican……..where they do NOT give you free drinks…..I don’t care how how short, or how low cut your dress is……….when you are with your husband.  Still it is Saturday bitches……so I had 1 medium (large) margarita,…and 1 small (med) margarita……..with my Enchilada Rancheras of course (no chips!  no chips!)  Then we fancy foot worked it to Red Rocket (new bar in town) where I attempted to scare and terrify the natives with Ministry (but to no avail).  Then we walked to Ricochets a week early (no shoes) to watch/listen/dance to every 2/4 songs of Bocephus……….no problem…………I am hyper-uber-red neck like that.  Young scad coming onto me all night….he was kinda cute……..hubby definitely onto him.  You have to remember. This crap has been going on for 22 + years in this family.  Young uns ready for a hall fight.  Hubby like, “when the song is done, which way will she be walking?”  This comes with wisdom young laddies.  Let your mares graze.  Just make sure their saddle is on tight.   ……So i drank, I ate, I fell.  Tomorrow……….I train like hell.  No longer young pretty girl.  I am middle aged body builder.  This is what I do.

So now I have been contacted by none other than the maker, creator, of sh-muscle.com, Mr Brian Moss himself (brianmoss.com) about the possibility of doing a photo shoot.   Dan Ray of buffbunnies.com and Muscular Development on July 4.  These are two HUGE names in the fitness photo industry in less than 3 weeks.  I am going crazy!  I want to dance, sing, shout, pray, lift, make a g-d damn porn video.  Anything but diet.  Optimum Nutrition tonight!

I missed a half day of work, because my “free hike” with daughter turned into a $50. Urgent Care visit, and $46. in prescriptions.  That is a hundred dollar hike not even taking into consideration loss of pay.  I was up ALL NIGHT…but I did not scratch ONCE.  Except for the time I woke after 10 minutes sleep gnawing my own arm off.  Got soo bad I started thinking maybe I would lick myself as the only place I DON’T get poison ivy is inside my mouth.  Must be enzymes or something.  Male nurse weighing me in asked if was military.  He said it was my stance.  I say it was my two big guns staring at him.  Also said I was in excellent health, incredible shape, yada-yada…asked me if I was a runner.  Said no, I just lift weights.  He said my resting heart rate was SO low that if I were in for anything else he would think there was a health problem.  As it was……just one more sign of impeccable health.   After 20 minute wait (in which I have a secret phobia of being forgotten about)…Dr comes in and yeah I can see it in his eyes……..lol…….he wants me.  This is always in the eyes and boys you can’t hide it unless you close your eyes and walk away.  (This has happened too.)  So Dr is in the midst of wanting me and asks……“Where is it the worst?”  Of course I had to show him.