MILF HUNTRESS

Had a puny bicep workout today.  I really do need to start taking one rest day weekly.  Purely to separate the weeks.  I believe in rest.  Did go for a manicure.  It feels good to take care of myself for a change, to become somewhat high maintenance.  I never could afford to before.  Came home and paid my daughter for my pedicure.  Why pay them $40 when I can pay her $10?  lol  Ahhhh, let’s see what else?  The kids are back home from grandmas and I didn’t miss them a bit.  lol  Awful.  It’s just the drama that takes place sometimes that drives me crazy.  I love my kids and it’s awful to take them for granted.  I am glad I am able to afford to!  Ummmm, what else.  Bought myself a new coat…a ski jacket…as my middle daughter has been making fun of what she calls my "streaker coat".  Ok, it does look a bit like a streaker jacket/homeless person coat.  I got it at Goodwill on a night I was really cold.  What do you expect?!?  Also bought a new sports bra and pair of workout pants at JC Penney tonight.  Worked out in it and it was a big mistake.  I really can’t stand the sight of myself in athletic wear.  Does nothing for me.  Makes me feel manly.  lol  Aw, well.  That’s it.  Miss Maddi’s Sunday in a nutshell.  Get back to work.

I met a lady a few years back.  A nice lady.  She was reasonably attractive.  Took great care of her body, had the most shockingly blue eyes I had ever seen.  This woman  was 43, with a 23 year old son.  Most of his friends she’d had sex with.

Though most definitely HOT, this woman had become a bit of a haha-funny-funny.  A joke.  There was no mystery left.  In short, if you were a young stud, and needed some sex, you knew where to turn. 

Only what boy values what every other boy has already had? 

I am one of those wise and fortunate few who needs not live a person’s experience to learn from it. 

I liked this woman.  Indeed I respected this woman. 

And yet I knew from the get go…..I never, ever, wanted to be anything like this woman. 

In fact, I formed myself as her complete opposite.

“It is better for boys to want what they cannot have, than to have what they do not want.”

Scarcity increases value. 

I love my stinkin body, I really do.  I also love going to workout for 2 hours solid, then having my hubbie come pick me up for a mexican dinner afterwards.  In which 1 marguerita on the rocks serves as my post workout insulin spiking, and a slab of grilled beef as additional protein to my shrimp skewers.  Musn’t forget the dark chocolate almonds for dessert.  Is life good?  Is my body sexy?  Some questions really don’t need to be answered, now do they?

Uncle Lendell couldn’t look me in the eye. 

This is the second time in a row that Uncle Lendell has not looked me in the eye, nor exchanged one word with me at a family social function. 

Uncle Lendell……..is a talk-o-holic.

This leads me to believe Uncle Lendell has seen me standing in my underwear on the internet.

It’s an odd predicament I find myself in at times.  Self expression versus self preservation.  Probably not quite so dramatic as all that, but it can feel it sometimes.

I mean, how do I feel about my 60 year old aunties reading my blog on the internet really?  I feel a bit violated if you really want to know the truth.  Seeing as how we all descended from a crazy bunch of gypsy head hunters, I’ve often thought about throwing out the ol Basquian / Mic-Mach curse. 

Anyone reading my blogs that is not a weight lifter, meaning lifting weights (dumbells, barbells) 3+ days per week, shall be thoroughly condemned.  Absolutely no good shall befall them.

What the hell.  I’ll just put that out there.  Might be one way to get my entire family involved in fitness.

Are you ready for a good old fashioned, post workout, endorphin dripping blog like I used to do?  I must apologize.  You’ve been getting some crap-assy blogs from me lately.  Since I’ve been working full-time, I work out in the mornings, then work all day.  By the time I get home all the good feelings are gone.  What you have is a worn out Mama, dealing with the kids, the never ending need, the there just is not enough of me syndrome.

Right now Missus Maddi is SLAP ASS HAPPY.  The kids have been gone for 2 days in a row, (god bless em), I am off work 2 days in a row, (god bless me!)  This only happens EOW.  Not only that, but… I had a great, no holds barred, empty ass gym on a Friday night kind of workout tonight!  A workout in which I was God, alone in my garden. 

A very happy God I was too.  F-ck creation.  Just leave me alone with my weights and my mirrors.  Oh, and of course my NIN.

Today’s workout stats;

26 minute elliptical AM, 22 minute jog pre-workout PM.

28+ sets triceps…..lots of good stuff, decent weight

10 minute jog post workout.

Looking forward to a no time limit workout tomorrow also!  Think I’ll make it LEG DAY. 

Yum!!

I am going to fast the rest of the day.  God I feel like a bloated COW.  I did work out twice yesterday.  Just an hour in the AM and 30 minutes late last night with 10 pounds of food in my stomache.  Held off on the desserts for a good long while.  Keep in mind, I intended to eat.  I had no real self challenge not to indulge.  But then I started looking at everyone’s waistlines as they put away their pie and realized……..I don’t want any.   It was the Creme Du Lech Cheesecake & Pecan Pie that eventually got me.  It started with one pecan.  Once I started I didn’t stop for a good long time.  I was the one going to town in the corner. I was the one with the look of an addict in my eye.  Then went to my mom’s where I had more food.  About 2 platefuls.  No more pie, but I did eat about 6 dark chocolate covered pralines.  Christmas I am going with a plan.  Holidays are twisted. 

I swear to God my Aunt Margie uses obesity as a statement.  I am no longer in your program.  I refuse to abide by the rules of your game.  I respect my Aunt Margie’s obesity. I was once the same way.  F-ck you and your superficiality is what I was saying.  F-ck you all in your asses.  This is still what I am saying today.  Only now I can say it while rising up from my chair without pain.

Adversity hits us and some of us are destroyed.   Others transformed.  Hit up the transformation of the week, TheBeastWCBB.  Like a phoenix rising through the ashes.  Life is what we make of it. 

I see weakness in people and it frustrates me.  It frustrates me because I used to be one of them.  What I loathe in others is what I detest in who I once was.  Why couldn’t I see it for so long?  Why didn’t I dare to find my way out long before I did?

I remember when I went to that lady psychologist.  I was bottom of the barrel.  About going crazy from confliction within my psyche.  Confliction brought about from jacked up religious beliefs meets the real world. 

When I walked out, I was frustrated with the psychologist.  Frustrated because I could see that she didn’t like me, that she thought my story was boring, that she perceived me as being weak.

Well guess what?  She was right.  I was all these things and worthy of all her judgements.  In a strange sense, her judgement upon me…….the very thing psychologists are not supposed to do……was an icy cold slap in the face.  It woke me up enough to see just the foggiest bit through my warped out mind.  This deceived soul that had bought into the lie that ego is bad, martyrhood good.

The Fountainhead.  It came along at just the right time.  Still haven’t finished it.  Life’s been too busy to read really.  But the jist of it.  I hear the message loud and clear.  I take the value from it’s meaning.

God has told me in my heart of hearts that it is true.  That there is no problem combining his gospel with the gospel of self.  The Bible which has been reinterpreted and misinterpreted hundreds of times holds less value than the living word within me.  Sharper than a double edged sword.  The word that both gives life and takes it away.

Choosing words and thoughts carefully, we create our lives, and the lives of those around us.

MMMMMMM, pomegranate, green tea, kids gone, off work, kicked back in my MOFO party zone.  Which means a party of one.  Tonight there’s a party in my pants…and NONE of you are invited to come (but me). 

SO what would happen if we all sacrificed our orgasms to world peace at the same moment?  Would we indeed achieve world peace or would the earth light up, then explode, in one big happy moan?  These are the things I often wonder about.  You know.  When you come in to check out a book and I have that dazed and happy look in my eye?

What’s happening to our posts around here?  I know I’m not the only one!  DO we have a Bb.com goblin running afoot or something? 

I lost a perfectly good anniversary post in which I awaited my husband’s homecoming in plastic wrap.  Then this morning a darned right  jolly profound post on me and my main man…that would be Jesus Christ…..in the flesh…….or in the word…..what have you.  It’s gone now.  I offer that post up to God. 

My husband asked me the other night….What’s up with you and God being LOVERS?  Having SEX?  Isn’t that blasphemous?  Did I miss something in Sunday school?

Hell yes me and God are lovers!  Hell yes we have sex!  Dirty, grungy, hide it from your mama sex too.

Please….do you think you all made this stuff up???

Everything comes from God.  That’s right.  Everything.

It’s how I want to die.

How about you?