MILF HUNTRESS

You know my going out with hubbie dress is really my work dress.  I pulled the top down lower, hitched the back up higher….VOILA!  Librarian to swinger in a jiffy.  Ok,….I’m not really a swinger.  But I do love to watch those crazy bastards.  Good people really.  Very open and free.  Guess what???  WE FOUND THE GOOD LOOKING SWINGERS!  Wa-hoo!  They do exist!  Really!  Elusive as the fabled unicorn, but there we found them in Charlie’s Cave.  Seriously…by the caves…next to a mega-field of television towers.  Maybe that can explain why everyone was acting so crazy???  Maybe not.  Yes sir, maybe not.  Swingers are very friendly.  It’s like greet the neighbor at your local church….only warmer and more sincere.  Heck, these folks think they’ll be getting down your panties later….OF COURSE they are going to be nice.  Still we had a great time.  Hooked up with a couple throughout the evening which happened to be the best looking couple there.  lol  Very classy professionals.  He works regionally,..(FOR MY HUSBAND’S COMPANY…SMALL FREAKING WORLD).  Him and his wife have set up 3 web cams around their house.  When he is traveling for work, at the end of the day he calls her on the phone, tells her to go into a certain room,…and she will take off her clothes, put on a show for him.  I think this is beautiful.  I love to see couples getting creative to keep the magic alive.  We talked all night, discussing fantasies.  Of course I had to throw out a few shockers.  I am a bit of a reaction getter.  Things could have went farther, but that wasn’t what we were there for.  It was a tough decision at the end of the night.  Sit around and watch people seriously going at it or head for pancakes.  I chose the pancakes.  The decadence of those harvest grains taking precedence over everything else.  Also had a big steak omelette.

 About ready to go out with my husband.  He is downstairs throwing some weights around…which is cool.  I can hear the banging. 

After work husband picked me up for dinner.  Had some good mexican the town over and discussed things a bit.  You know, we are a good pair.  I hate to think we may end up split out of sheer boredom.  It’s a decent marriage.  Alot of times together, a good family. 

Even though I am not a fan of typical country (only the really good stuff……HANK) a song came to mind while eating dinner by Reba McIntire.  

“Is there life out there,  so much she hasn’t done, is there life beyond her family and her home”

Yes I am the proto-typical mid-life crisis girl.  But I am here to represent the ladies. 

I have a good team of girls I work with.  Most of them a little bit ahead of me in age.  They are there to guide me.  It feels good to have a sisterhood. 

SO me and hubbie are going out tonight.  Why did the country dog lay in the road?  For a little excitement.  Why did the middle aged couple go to the swinger party?  Likely the same reason. 

Oh yes.  Today was 25 minutes cardio and 5 sets of abs.  Active rest day.

Played tennis with my oldest tonight.  My youngest is at the lake with grandma, middle child at the football game.  Since I started working, my husband and I fight more over money than ever before.  The dynamics have changed slightly, and I guess we are adjusting.  He hates the thought that I have any money to spend on myself at all…is very defensive over my spending.  He expects every penny I make to go on bills, and I just keep wondering…..what the hell would have happened if I hadn’t gone full time after 19 years of me not having that paycheck?  Incredible.  I have no problem giving half my paycheck over for bills.  The rest I expect to be able to spend as I wish, whether it is for me, my girls, gifts for him, or savings.  You know, we have been married a long, long time.  Much longer than most people make it these days.  I am happy to be married, but sometimes I do wonder.  Should I get out now while the going is good?  Do I really want to grow old with this man?  I don’t know what my beliefs are on life, marriage, anymore.  Everything is up in the air.  Right now, being married, I am a flirtatious bitch.  If I were single, that would change.  I would be much more low key and conservative in words, dress, everything.  I play wild child because I can.  Because I have my head covering.  Single it would be a whole new set of rules.  Still there is a part of me that wonders what it would be like; to pay my own bills, deal with my own struggles, function, cope, potentially strive on my own.  I went straight from my mother to my husband.  Married with a baby at age 19.  I grew up very fast, became super conservative in a quest for holiness…and safety, purpose for my children.  I don’t regret an inch of it.  But sometimes I wonder where I am supposed to be now.  I am guessing right where I am.  Still searching to add purpose and value to the world.  Guessing I can do this in the usual way with kindness.  We are all here such a short while.  I think we should be kind to one another.  Speaking of kindness, keep those pics a coming.   

Do you dig girls that lift?  I dig girls that lift.  This is why I love me so.  Today was a nice workout.  After a little mishap with my mp-3, in which I had to head home and reload, it was all good.  I refuse at this point to workout without my own music.  I had the day off so all ended well.  This means I had 20 minutes on the elliptical about 8 AM.  I have been doing about 1/2 of it all the way up at level 20.  This is some insane bullshit….like treading quicksand.  But you can really feel it.  Then 20 minutes on the stairmill about an hour later.  Drenched in sweat.  I remember the day I used to do this for an hour at a time.  That was some insanity.  About ready to do it again.  Headed down to lift for my delts and biceps.  Probably just 10 sets apiece.  Lifting to Pantera.  Nicccccccce.   I have decided that the commonality among body-builders is passion.  You simply have to have it to start lifting, to stick with lifting, and to enjoy lifting.  Passion, purpose…p,p,p,…pink.

If you are under the age 30 and you work out at my gym, I would love to see your penis.  Not in the flesh mind you, (cough, cough), but via the internet magic of a computer screen.  Being in the throes of my mid-life crisis, I have decided, ….why…….I need some crisis cock.  Since I absolutely love, honour, and adore my husband,…this is the only way it is ever going to happen.  Heads and torsos are preferred but optional.  It might be fun to play a game of pin the penis…..on the bodybuilder.  Be young, be hot, be absolutely naked.  Now get those cams to flashin’.  Thank you….Thank you very much. 

I held a baby today.  

This 18 year old mom and her 3 month old daughter came into the library to sign up for a card yesterday. 

The mom reminded me of me.  Her baby of my own firstborn.  To have children is to relive your innocence a second time around. 

Well that’s all gone now. 

I went into the bathroom and cried for 2 sweet, tortured, minutes.  Heaving, heaping sobs.  Then I pulled myself together to finish my day.

Would I have another baby if I had the chance?

Crazy enough…

yes I would.

Three things I feel the most natural (in the flow) doing…

***bodybuilding***

**drunken decadent dancing**

*mothering innocent babies*

At least 2 out of three involves baring breasts on occasion.

Workouts are fully back in order since I (AMEN) got a new MP-3 yesterday.  Actually bought one the night before.  Had some very pissy difficulties and had to take it back the next day on lunchbreak. 

One thing or another always seems to threaten my workouts.  Dental appointments, doctor appointments for my daughters.  I won’t let anything stand in my way. 

This is my strength. 

This is my secret in a nutshell.

Today, I voluntarily skipped my lunchbreak workout.  Came home and ate hickory smoked tuna instead. 

And while I was at it…

Buttoned back up and went to work.  Mmmmm, the things I have to look forward to. 

My hair is now dark, and my hair is short.  I figure if people are still looking at my hair, then they are just missing the point.

Worked out to Rammstein and Pantera last night.  The Doors and Muse today.  Going to download A-3 tonight.

I am up to 150 and holding fairly steady.  I think I have this thing pretty much figured out. 

"I’ve got a hot date with darlin’ tonight",  I told my daughters last Thursday.  "Huh??"  they said. "I’m letting my friend take me for a drink", I answered.  They looked at me kindof funny.  I like to tease my daughters sometimes.  "Such and such wants to be your new daddy," I might say.  They’re used to my nonsense.

Wasn’t sure how my husband was going to react to my drink with darlin’.  Hubbie is by nature very jealous, but he also knows what I am attracted to.  Can a male and female hold a friendship no strings, no hankie pankie attached?  I believe so.  …But only if the woman is unattracted.

I have many guy friends.  I love men.  Point blank.  I don’t have to have sex with them to enjoy their company.  And I do let any potential male friends know in advance.  "We can be friends, we can hang out,…but I am absolutely NOT going to have sex with you."  Once I’ve put all my cards down on the table, it is up to them whether or not they want to pursue the friendship.

So me and darlin’ had our drink.  We went shopping afterwards with internet coupons.  We have plans for next pay period to go and get spa pedicures together.

Hubbie called me the day after my hot date with darlin’ and said, "I’m going to be late from work tonight.  I am going out with my friend Robin….Head Bobbin’ Robin.  Just for drinks mind you…I’m not attracted."  (He is the king of the payback.)

"Go and have fun", I said.

If I don’t get an I-pod soon I am going to lose my mind.  The sounds of Jack FM plus Good Morning America combined in the mornings is making me ancy.  I need to lose myself in music.  Music that inspires; makes me want to work harder.  Every once in awhile Jack will push out something good….like "Fire Woman" by The Cult.  But too often I find myself working out to Lionel Richie.  Worse yet, that dang blasted Footloose.  I need to increase my weights, intensity.  I haven’t been sore since I don’t know when.  After all is said and done I am probably getting in just 2 hours per day.  Figuring shower and work prep time, maybe a total of 1:30 before work.  If I’m doing well, another 30 minutes at lunch.  Today’s lunch workout was just a 9 minute jog and 120 lunges.  Today of course was legs and arse day,… every 3 days whether I need it,… or just really, really, really, need it.  I am fully recovered from Sunday’s hangover.  Damn…I really put it away Saturday night.  My own 1/2 pint of tequila, about 8 marguerita’s on top of that, and then at least a good-6-7 Smirnoff’s at the club.   I do love drinking and dancing.  Dancing to me is the very epitome of freedom.  And drunk girls rule.  They mob me.  Forgot to mention that the very most popular/beautiful girl from the class of 1988 told me that I am gorgeous Saturday night.  It was one of those moments that both really meant something to me, and meant nothing at all.  I have found that when I am feeling good about myself…my own self approval/confidence is all I really need. Still it was nice to hear. 

 DRESS $20.

SCARF $40.

SHOES $19.99

HOT BODY PRICELESS 

The reunion was interesting though a bit surreal.  20 years is long enough not to recognize a good many people.  The people you do recognize, you still can’t place their name.  Funny how it was all once  so important.  A bit depressing actually that my peers have grown so old.  This is a reflection on me and I know it.  Several women looked damned hot.  I was proud of them.  Even prouder perhaps of the women who were once the golden trophy girls and now 30, 50, 60 pounds or more overweight.  It takes something to be able to walk into your class reunion that way.  I don’t gloat in my accomplishment.  I know how hard it is to maintain a figure.  I know how increasingly difficult it becomes to remain attractive past the age of 35.  Pretty much a doggone work of art.   All in all, people were very real.  High school was never very important to me.  My life was much more about what happened after school hours.  But it was nice in a sense to brush up against the past.  The whole thing was just dinner, drinks, and mingling.  Past a certain point my feet began to get itchy.  I wanted away from the rotten stench of oldness….of people my own age.  Dragged husband to Whiskey Bar, where I am fairly certain at this point I have well established my name as extremely drunken dancing girl.  Ahhhh, but they love me.  Yes, I am a train wreck, but I am a HOT ONE.   I drank and danced as if my very life depended upon it.  Then I drank and danced some more.  And then more.  Good looking, frisky, fun time is almost over.  I know this.  Certainly making the very best of the time I have left.  Of course I spent the better part of the morning with a hangover.  It is 3:36  PM and my headache is just beginning to fade.  Decided to give my body a day of rest.  Here’s to exceptionally drunken dancing.  Here’s to the man who sits not so patiently on the sidelines and loves me.

I am really way too wasted tired to be writing much of anything right now.  It is just 8:05 on a Friday night.  About ready to go nighty-night.  Gonna pull those blankets way down tight.  Work is good.  My boss is a doll.  Things couldn’t be much more ideal on that front.  Workouts are great.  I’ve even started taking a shower at my gym in the mornings.  Met a competitive lifter at my gym today which was really cool.  Saw her out of the corner of my eye lifting some heavy ass weights.  Squats all the way down.  Very cool.  Class reunion tomorrow, and I have a hair appointment in the morning.  Still have to find me a super-sexy-sexy outfit and some high heels to wear.  I am looking forward to it, though not in a big way.  More of in a slightly interested "this could be fun" way.   Ahhhhh…workouts, country living, full time job, good friends…….this is the life.  Throw in some more good times, hot males, a little more cage dancing………I’m actually pretty easily contented.