MILF HUNTRESS

Mm, I’m tired tonight.  Not going to be a very exciting Friday night probably.  Hubbie will come home.  Kick me off the computer to get his poker porn on.  Nothing pornographic about it actually.  Except I would swear that for you boys that like it, you get a big old erection while playing.  I am jamming out on the Doors.  Like with everything, I go in fits with music.  There was a time last year when I listened to Muse exclusively for about 6 months.  (Great band.)  Oh my…but The Doors.  DAMN THEY ARE GOOD.  That Jim Morrison.  Such a pretty boy.  Not my type actually, but pretty none the less.  I like my boys a little less pretty and a little more rugged.  But I do adore a male sex symbol.  Men unafraid to flaunt their pretty sexuality and even be a little feminine with it.  Jim, Elvis, Dave…let’s see…who else?  There have been a few. Thank God for artists.  Where would we be without artists who give us permission to see and express ourselves through their art?  What if the church viewpoint was the ONLY viewpoint in existence?  What then?  But that’s not quite possible is it?  For every viewpoint there must exist the opposite.  We need the Mother Teresas.  We also need the Jim Morrisons.  FULLNESS OF EXPRESSION.  It’s what life is all about.  Rambling.  Listening to The Doors makes me feel stoned.  I haven’t smoked a thing since I was 17…I promise.  (That’s been 20 years!!)  And just in case I run for office someday, no, I never inhaled.  I cut marijuana out after gaining 20 pounds from the munchies my senior year in high school.  Never cared for the stuff much actually.  Made me hungry, paranoid, tired, dry mouth, and my mind loopie.  (A good way NOT to get laid on a date was to get me stoned.)  Hallucinogenics. THIS I DID LIKE.  Made me feel like superwoman and see the world for what it truly is….a splendiferous, pulsating, orgasmic, multicolored thing.  Sex was mind blowing, incredible, fantasmic!  IT MADE MY MIND EXPANSIVE.  Studying the individual blades of grass, interpreting the writing in the sky, making rooms shrink or grow in proportion to my thought, biting into an apple and TASTING the life within it,…watching my future husband’s face melt off of the couch and down onto the floor as I fell just as deeply in love with him.  (Yes, I fell in love with my husband on acid.)  haha  THAT I miss.  But this is a bodyblog.  Tomorrow night, 20 years later, my husband (no longer with a melting face), is taking me out for our belated anniversary dinner.  We are going out for steak.  At my request.  Except for the testosterone driven small bite of chicken I had this past summer, I haven’t eaten meat for 16 years.  So this is serious business, this steak eating ordeal.  I read a Jay Cutler article last week swearing to the NEED OF eating red meat to put on muscle mass.  He made it sound like a "HAVE-TO" for the serious bodybuilding enthusiast.  There were quite a few other big boys to back him on this.  Seriously, if I can’t find street steroids, I may as well get some second hand from the steroids they pump into the poor animals these days.  I KNOW I hold back muscle gains with vegetarianism.  You see, I don’t really WANT to be a vegetarian.  It’s just that every time I try to bite into a piece of cow…I see the poor sucker walking down the chute to his death….I hear the shot…I see the blood…I watch him fall down into his own piss and excrement…and I think…E-COLI!!!!!!!  I am going to try to work past all this and just eat the darned thing.  I am thinking a little A-1 sauce should do the trick.  That and a frontal lobotomy.  Check out my latest workout on my workout tracker.  30 sets for my glutes and legs.  10 sets for my abs.  There are other ways to be supergirl besides dropping LSD.  (And acid never gave me HAMS my hubbie wants to hold onto.)  …Still there’s something to be said for that writing in the sky.

I celebrate myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.

I loafe and invite my soul,
I lean and loafe at my ease observing a spear of summer grass.

My tongue, every atom of my blood, form’d from this soil, this air,
Born here of parents born here from parents the same, and their
parents the same,
I, now thirty-seven years old in perfect health begin,
Hoping to cease not till death.

Creeds and schools in abeyance,
Retiring back a while sufficed at what they are, but never forgotten,
I harbor for good or bad, I permit to speak at every hazard,
Nature without check with original energy.

Madame Librarian has just discovered Walt Whitman.  It is as if a whole new world has opened up for me.  I would give you a link, but this man’s work is not to be read sitting in front of an internet screen.  It is to be read sitting outside in the green grass on a gentle summer’s day.  Or cozied up next to the hearth on a harsh winter’s night.  In the beginning was the word….

The funniest, strangest, thing happened this morning.  I woke up and decided that I didn’t want to go work out.  This never happens!  Sure, I often mull the thought around a bit, just to remind myself that I DO have a choice in the matter.  But off to the gym I ALWAYS go regardless.  I simply can’t remember the last time I took a voluntary day off from the gym.  Surely it’s been over a year.  Maybe longer.  I do believe in living AND lifting intuitively however.  I slept a good portion of the day. Perchance I grew some muscle???? Now I have this blog idea running through my head.  "Billy & His Willy".  Don’t let me forget about this one, will you?  It’s all about little baby Billy, and his progression (with his penis) from infancy to adulthood.  I’m afraid it has a very sad ending.      Alrighty.  So here’s a little bodybuilding eatery, Maddi Style for you.  Let’s just call it "Mad Nutrition". Take you some low fat, no sugar added, vanilla icecream.  Pour a nice long drizzle of Myoplex Lite Chocolate Fudge Protein Shake over the ice cream.  Add peanuts. THIS TASTES JUST LIKE A DAIRY QUEEN PEANUT BUSTER PARFAIT. Now if you really want to do it "Mad Style", the whole point is to eat the icecream directly out of the container.  Just keep adding more Myoplex shake and peanuts as you work your way down to the bottom.  In the words of the great auctioneer.  "ADD ON!  ADD ON!" Mmmm,mmmm,mmmmm.

I’ve been looking at some pictures of other girls on this site, and it is very good for me.  Complacency comes and bites me on the butt quite alot these days.  I have been eating over a pound of nuts each day and having no qualms about it.  Sometimes I am still just oh so satisfied not to be the obese girl anymore, and I forget that I want to go farther.  I admit, I do not want to commit to a year round diet of tuna, eggs, and the occasional section of sweet potato.  Not gonna go there for the long term.  Never, ever.  But I do want to go farther.  I have a "bod".  I am ready for a physique.  Chubby chaser or not, I want to lean down.  I want to see that 15% bodyfat goal at long last.   I am waiting for the right impetus, the proper incentive.   When that shot rings out I will hit the gate running.  Not literally.  I don’t run.  But I sure as hell will when the stakes are high enough.

Well yah me!  Second day in a row I entered my information for the workout tracker.  Now I am thinking something is a little bit off, as it shows my average sets per workout as 14.  For both yesterday and today (the only days entered), I had 38 sets each day.  Today was leg day, with a little bit of abs thrown in for good measure.  Anybody know the name of the squat bar that is in the shape of a hexagon which you stand inside of?  We have one of these at my gym and I like it much!  I am guessing the bar alone weighs approx 50 pounds.  I haven’t tried to max out on it yet, but today I lifted 100+ the bar for my very last set of the day and still got a good 7 reps out of it.  Exciting stuff!  I won’t get a PM workout tonight as I have to go in to work.  My weight was down to 155 today.  Not so bad for all the pie, cake, chocolate, stuffing, etc, etc, of the past week and a half.  I seem to be taking more ass shots these days than anything.  What can I say but that I am excited as hell at the concept of building any ass at all.  I grew up on Paseo in KC, MO, where all of my best friends were pretty little black girls with big and beautiful booties.  They called me "flat butted Maddi".  No joke. They said it was because I slouched in my chair and were always trying to get me to sit up straight.  I said "No…it’s because my mama’s bootie’s flat…my aunties’ bootie’s flat…and my grannie’s bootie’s flat."  And I kept on slouching in that seat.  Wonder what would have happened if I’d listened.  lol  Anyway, I am very proud.  Because any little bit of muscle flesh you see down in my nether regions was shaped and sculpted by Ms Maddi herself.  Call me Michaelangelo.  I attribute any positive changes you see to the power and authority of straight leg deadlifts which is about the only exercise that makes my bootie sting..  That and my new favorite.  One leg up on the bench, the other leg you swing up high behind you.  I feel this GREAT in both legs at once, but do switch off to make sure I get both sides.  I  call this move "the crouching cougar".  hahaha  Ahhh yes boys and girls.  Come summertime,…my ass will be a bonified work of art.  We may have to paint it white and stand me in a gallery somewhere.

I just noticed that we are only able to enter one workout per day in the body tracker system.  I think it would be nice if this could be changed.  Many competitors train 2 (or more) times per day when getting ready for a competition.

PM Workout for Monday, 11/26: 

7 minutes treadmill on incline. 

100 reps light weight shoulder misc. 

100 reps light weight tricep misc. 

10 minutes treadmill on incline.

Short and sweet.  Like my man.

TO be considered for the Body Transformation 2008 Contest you must be using all of the bodyspace features provided.  SO I just tried out the new workout tracker for the first time.  I must admit, entering all of the information was a real pain in the *ss.  Not because bb.com hasn’t made it easy for us.  (It’s a very nice tool actually.)  But just because of the sheer volume and mish-mash of my workouts.

If you are unlike me, and have a regular workout program that you follow, you can enter a template in once, and…VOILA!  No more data entry.  Just a simple click every time you perform that workout.  Being the intuitive and idiosyncratic lifter that I am however, I am going to have a full 30 minutes of data entry each and every time.  

What is REAL handy dandy is that there are pictures you can scroll through for each individual exercise.  I am going to use this feature not only for entering my workout information, but to learn and try some new exercises that I never thought of before!

I also like the fact that I can read the total volume lifted in each workout.  This workout, between 38 sets for my delts and triceps, I lifted a total of 11,700. pounds of heavy metal!  This after 55 minutes on the elliptical.   No wonder I often take a nap after my workouts!  Not today however. 

Today,….I feel energized! And I am already looking forward to workout 2 this evening.

I have about 20 sets of dip assists on my mind.

My weight is up to a whopping, sizeable, oh so grabbable 157 pounds!  With the exception of my face, I kindof like me fleshy.  What can I say?  If I were a boy, I would be a real chubby chaser.

I woke my husband up this morning by slapping his face.  "Hey bitch.  Happy anniversary bitch.  Happy f*cking 18 year anniversary you little bitch face."  Each word accentuated with a baby slap of love.  Hubbie, his eyes still closed said, "Why are you hitting me???"  "BECAUSE YOU’RE MY BITCH, THAT’S WHY," I said, slapping him once again, just for the fun of it.  Hubbie rolled his head in my direction, one eye opened, one eye closed.  "SOMETIMES THE BITCH HITS BACK."  I stopped slapping.

I just read another wonderful blog/article on this site.   There are so many articles written for and about ectomorphs.  The "hard gainers".   It is REFRESHING to hear stories from the other side of the coin.    Of course, being that I am one of those rare and cursed peoples who suffers from both extremes of bodytypes at once, I rather fall into the "heads you win, tails I lose" department. 

I have no genetic blessings.  I am a strange mix of ecto and endo.   I have a body ridiculously slow to put on muscle and only oh so quick to put on fat.

It is almost as if I saw my life in advance and said,

"Hmmmmmmm.  What can I do to make my life difficult?"  "Ah yes.  I will be born without any genetic capacity for it, and decide to become a bodybuilder.  And, yes!  Let’s also throw vegetarianism and hypothyroidism into the mix!"

I truly am the underdog. 

So I hope you will all do this shaggy dog a great big favor, and contact the bodybuilding admin for me. 

 http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?p=97454031#post97454031

There will be 5 contestants chosen.  Let Bodybuilding.com know that you would like to see me given a chance to enter and win the Body Transformation 2008 Contest. 

2-3 hours per day, 6 days per week, for over 3 years straight in the gym.  Surely that stands for something?? 

What I lack in genetic blessings, I make up for in heart. 

I want to SHOW THE WORLD that anybody, ANYBODY can succeed at this thing called bodybuilding. 

A body bent stubbornly on storing fat, CAN lose fat.  A body stolidly set against gaining muscle, CAN build muscle. 

Bodybuilding is not just about body. 

It’s about soul.

Between two family dinners I had 6 plates of food and about 12 desserts.  That is putting things lightly.  Nothing was off limits.  I totally engorged myself freely and fully.  Yes I have a food addiction.  

Like any addiction there is a loss of control that comes with the territory.  There is a total abandonment, a giving oneself up to the senses.  I wonder if this goes back to infancy somehow.   I wonder if in fact, everything goes back to infancy.  When we are babies we have no control.  We experience pain, we experience pleasure, we experience bodily functions and sensory stimuli.  How pleasurable our experience of infancy is, lies completely outside of our control. 

I wonder about addictions sometimes.  Destructive ones it seems share a common theme of giving up control to one’s senses.  Healthier alternatives seem to share a different theme of manipulating and controlling one’s environment to one’s benefit and ultimately one’s pleasure.  Looking at things this way, I can see that my food addiction is a destructive, passive, (and infantile) addiction, while exercise has become my healthy, assertive, (and adult oriented) alternative. 

If I didn’t have the gym to pour my heart and soul into, I could become once again totally engrossed and lost within food.  It took me many years to realize this truth about myself.  I need to lose myself in something utterly and completely to know that I am alive. 

In food I give up control and am lost.  In weights I take back control and am found.