MILF HUNTRESS

I’m in the mood for freedom!  How about you?!  I think you all have less of this than you think you do.  And that’s fine, that’s just fine, or is it?  True freedom surpasses the physical.  It goes straight into the center of your brain and spirit.  From the moment you are born you cease being free, because you begin to become imprinted with choices that are not your own.  When mom sits you down in front of the television so that she can wash the dishes,… you are not free you are a slave.  When you get on that school bus crying, but go because you have to or daddy’s going to bust your lil ass,…I would not call that free.  When you marry the girl you got pregnant because it is inferred that something very very bad might happen to you if you do not…(SHOULDA KEPT IT IN YOUR PANTS!  SHOULDA KEPT IT IN YOUR PANTS!)…what do you think that is?  Working the same job, day after day, after day after day……after day after day after day after day after day…….whoosh!!….. Come on boys.  You know you are slaves.  The good news is!…….With slavery comes protection.  Come on, even the animals at the zoo know this.

Just a quick word about what blogging and reading others blogs has done for me.  It has helped me to open up.  It has helped me to find self expression.  It has helped me to find my experiences to be, well, unique, but normal.  It has helped me to lose the fear that media has created, and to view people under the microscope of our similarities rather than our differences.  This has been a very positive experience for me.  Well, it’s 4 AM and I am up with insomnia and a large can of cashews.  A VERY large can, I might add.   Let’s see,…  21 ounces.  I had a big day in which I left home at 8:45 AM, not to return until 13 hours later.  It was work, cardio on lunch break, work, workout with weights, Walmart Run.  Nothing huge or out of the ordinary, but yes a long day.  Might have found someone to help me with my web site, which excites me.  This man is familiar with DreamWeaver, which is what I have intended to use all along.  Even more exciting is after 9 months of no supplementation, I now have a can of Walmart creatine and bottle of DHEA.  lol  Even more exciting than that (things just keep getting better world) is the fact that I am expecting a sweet package from Optimum Nutrition to try some of their best products and blog about them.  Bestest yet…….(the very bestest)…is how bulky I was looking in the mirrors tonight.  Yes it was bulky, but a very good bulky.  Female wrestler/power lifter bulky.  I like it that my arms and body are now larger than the healthy everyday young male I might come across.  I am beginning to cross gender lines.  Which perhaps should not, but most definitely does, excite me.  My body is beginning to become, EXACTLY what I envision it to be.  I believe I am at the beginning of a very pleasant iceberg.

Feeling a little tired and mellow tonight.  Maybe dreading PM cardio though I think I really outto hit it.  Yeah, I’m feeling a little run down.  It’s hard to keep motivation and adrenaline for the job on high for the long run.  Can’t believe I have been straight at this for almost 5 years SOLID.  It’s a labor of love no doubt.  This doesn’t mean that like all loves it doesn’t take work from time to time.  Sometimes you feel the love, sometimes you don’t.  I most definitely go through periods where I have to force myself to be there (the gym).  On these days I write down the time I begin my weights, and I just make sure to continue until an hour is up.  I did this today.  Whether or not my heart is into it, if I force myself to do the work……my result still stays the same.

…mid life crisis is HITTING!  THIS should be REAL INTERESTING.

I have decided that low fat yogurt is IDEAL for post workout insulin spiking, and can’t quite figure out why nobody else has mentioned this.  It’s low fat, high sugar, and has a moderate amount of protein to get straight inside the muscle.  Follow it up 20 minutes later with a protein shake or plain hamburger and you are finished!  Of course, I followed mine up today with a bag of dark chocolate almonds and 3 bowls shredded wheat cereal in soy milk.  But we’re talking hypothetically here.

Mom disavowed me over a month ago for not returning her phone call in 2 minutes or less.  I think I have had quite enough of this over controlling b-tch.  Emailed me today for the second time wanting to know about daughter’s college orientation.  This after she sent me an email telling me “you are easily replaceable”.  I do not respond to those who no longer exist.

…I really think I love you. 

I can’t wait until tomorrow’s workout!  I missed three days and was entirely wigged out when my car wouldn’t start this morning.  Perhaps even more wigged out than when it wouldn’t start 240 miles from home yesterday.  Daughter is enrolled and officially oriented at new school.  A very nice school full of intellectual nerds, which I highly approve of.  Spent Saturday & Sunday LAKING it.  F-ck me!  F-ck me!  F-ck me sun!  I’m a summer time girl.  Always have been.  Always will be.  So yes.  Gladly back at the gym today.  After getting a ride from farmer down the road who had mercy on me.  About 2 hours and 20 minutes.  Focused mostly on BB squats (12 sets) and 45 lb plate hyper extensions (7+ sets).  About 15 sets of abs.  16 minute run (jog) and 5 minutes elliptical.  Think I will do some long jumps and such in the basement.  At least 20 minutes of legs and ass something.

And all I care about, all I look forward to

is tomorrow’s workout.