Ramblings on Lifting

I picked up a weight bench, 300lbs of weights, put it in my already crowded garage and spent two glorious hours putting it together last Saturday night.  It’s nothing fancy, but it’s all mine.  I don’t have to worry about "who got sweat all over the bench?" (I did) or "who didn’t re-rack the weights?" (I didn’t) or "what kind of crappy music is that on the radio?" (it’s whatever I want to listen to).  There’s chalk dust everywhere!  Also, I love the commute.  I should of done this years ago…

The only downside was that I had the garage door close because it was raining, so when my wife came home and opened the door I was in the middle of a heavy lift and the sudden noise almost broke my concentration.

I was watching "Hook" with my kids the other day (movie from 1991 about a grown up Peter Pan) and Captain Cook would say "Bad form!" whenever someone would do something that wasn’t right as far as he was concerned.  I’m sure ‘ol Hook would’ve screamed that at me about a week or so ago while I was doing squats.  I took a wider than normal stance because I was tired, sick and a little sore, so I could get through my workout and I did maybe two squats before I hurt myself.  My left leg was a little out in front of my right and when I started back up my wife says I twisted a little to the left and I think that’s what got me.  My left hip area just plain hurts… a lot. I did the hot/cold thing for a while and now it’s down to a dull ache. Couple that with still being sick (flu) and I spent three straight days on the couch eating everything I could so I wound up gaining (ugh) about 10 pounds over three days.  It’s funny how easy it is to get that weight on you, but it’s a pain in the butt to get it off. Hard lesson learned, that was.

Also, this getting sick at the gym thing is motivating me to clean out my garage so I can put together a home gym.  Since my 5×5 workouts aren’t that complex, it shouldn’t be too hard to do. A squat rack (safety first!), bench, a couple of bars and some quality weights and I should be good-to-go.

I felt a little under the weather Saturday morning, but I man-up and go workout anyways. Saturday night I’m tired and my head hurts so I turn in early. Sunday morning I’m sick as a dog and that lasts until, well, now.  I thought I was supposed to get "healthier" after I got in shape?  You know what, I think it’s the gym’s fault.  Yep. It’s like if your kids never had any problems with being sick, but then you start them into kindergarten or daycare with a bunch of other kids and then  -BOOM!- they start getting sick "all of a sudden".  I started working out in my garage with cheap dumbbells & free-weights, but then started going to the YMCA because when I signed-up one of my kids for flag football, I found out my employer had a great discount package with the YMCA and I was looking for a "gym" because I was maxing out on what I had to work with in the garage so I killed two birds with one stone.  That was a little over a year ago and I’ve (and my whole family) had this "sinus crud" off & on since then.  I like the convenience of the YMCA, but I may have to go back to my garage-gym again if this keeps up. Good thing about that would be that I can listen to MY music, but the downside to working out in my garage would be… I can’t think of anything.  Well, I guess I know what part of my IRS refund will be going towards!

It’s true. If you chat on your cell phone as you walk around the gym, don’t watch where you’re going and bump into the bar again when it has weight on it, while it’s in my hands and it’s is over my G-D neck I will <expletives deleted> KILL YOU, YOU MENTALLY CHALLENGED, NON-PAYING ATTENTION, NON-WORKING OUT, GYM BARNACLE!!!

I wish to high heaven I was kidding here, y’all, but I’m not. Kid was chatting on his cell, bee-bopping around the gym, not paying attention to where’s he’s going or what other people are doing and literally hip-checks the bar I’m holding. It’s wasn’t a ton of weight (135lbs), but I shocked the hell out of me and caused me to loose control of my temper just long enough to teach some of those folks in there a thing or two about cursing and give them all a vocal demonstration of what a "parade ground voice" sounds like when used by someone who has carried on casual conversations while nearby 105mm Howitzers tried to imitate the fretwork on Judas Priest’s "Electric Eye".

I know I scared the crap out of him and embarrassed myself by yelling at him, but is safety and plain, old common courtesy that hard? I keep a cell/pager in my bag (job requires), but if one or the other goes off I stop what I’m doing, step out of the way and have my conversation.  It annoys the crap out of me to see people on different machines & exercise equipment not only talking on their phones, but having conversations on their phones while they workout.  I mean, if you can have a conversation while you’re "working out," then you ain’t working out hard enough!  I wonder if these people take phone calls while they are, ya know, getting it on?

"Hey man, how are ya?"

"Good, good… ugh, ugh, ugh!"

"Are you okay?  What’s that sound?"

"That? Nothing. Hang on a second…. Wheeeeee-Hoooo. Ride that cowboy!"

"Ummm… I think I’ll call you later, man."

"No, I’m done. What’s up?"

Okay, now I’m getting silly here. If I had had more weight on the bar, had less of a grip or been a second slower, I could have been seriously hurt or worse (and if I hadn’t checked myself, so could he).  I guess I’m just bit**ing here, but that really did piss me off and it feels good to rant about it.

Go heavy or go home, y’all (just make sure you don’t get bumped while you do).

Sometimes you just have to learn that the skillet is hot by touching it.  See, I spent the last three days recovering from another lower back injury. This one I sustained during my last workout and about 3 hours ago I finally figured out how it happened when I bent over to pick up one of my kid’s shoes: it’s all my left arm’s fault.

I wrote earlier about the limited use & mobility of my left arm, so I won’t go over that again, but in a nutshell my lower back hurts because I can’t extend my left arm fully. That means that when I bend over to pick up something like a kid’s shoe or, say, a barbell, I have to dip my left shoulder down about 2 inches lower than my right shoulder.  That means my lower back, on the left side, is getting stretched farther than the right side and that is causing me considerable pain. I should have caught on a week ago or so when I started moving up in weight on the bent-over barbell rows.  Pain would lance down my left leg when I moved up to 105lbs, but I thought it was just because I don’t stretch enough.  What all this means is that I cannot do my beloved 5×5 workout as it is written.  I’m going to have to switch over to one-arm dumbbell rows instead on bent over barbell rows.  I can do the bench press without any problems, but I don’t have full range of motion, and the squat is no problem, either.  I can’t do the clean or clean and press though because my left wrist can’t bend back enough (not a flexibility issue, it’s a "the 6 pins in my wrist won’t move" issue) and, just to be safe, the deadlift may be out, too.  That being said, here’s what my workouts will probably start looking like:

Tuesday: Squat, Bench Press, One-Arm Dumbbell Rows (weighted sit-ups & hypers)
Thursday: Squat, Deadlift (in testing), Standing Press. (weighted sit-ups &  pull-ups)
Saturday: Squat, Benchpress, One-Arm dumbbell Rows. (DB Hammer Curls, Triceps Extensions, sit-ups)

We’ll see if I get good enough results from that workout to warrant keeping at it. If not, after a good cry, I’ll have to figure something else out.

“Resolutioners” are people who start showing up in gyms across the country every January proclaiming “this is the year I get in shape!”  These folks annoy the crap out of me; not in the “I hate them” way, but in more the same way heavy traffic annoys me. We’re all trying to get to somewhere we want, or have, to go and I don’t blame them for being there, but I sure wish either I had left home earlier or the other drivers had left home later.

It’s the same thing with these Resolutioners: I wish I could get to the gym when they’re not there or they would come to the gym after I’m gone.  The reason their presence annoys me isn’t because I feel superior to them or anything, it’s because just like holiday traffic, with more people in the gym who aren’t normally there it slows things down.  You have to wait for almost everything because a lot of the Resolutioners don’t appear to know how to do the exercises so it takes them a while to get situated and through or they have a staff member/personal trainer/work-out buddy trying to show them the correct way to do them.  It’s like tourists who come to your hometown to see the leaves change colors, go to the beach, take pictures of themselves in fields of Blue Bonnets or visit that big hole in the ground.  They aren’t from here, they don’t know their way around, they don’t know what to do or, more importantly, what not to do and they ask everybody lots of questions.  After a while most of them leave, but there are a few who hang around a bit longer before going home and then there are the very few who decide that they really like it here so they move in and become locals.

Same thing in the gym: some Resolutioners loose their motivation and burn out fast, some last a little longer and then there’s the few that hang in there. These Resolutioners keep showing up even though they are tired, sore and still look fat in the mirror.  These Resolutioners keep getting up early to make it to the gym before work, hustling in to workout after they get the kids on to the bus or force themselves to lift even though (or because) they had a hard day at work.  These Resolutioners keep exercising, sweating, building up calluses and recovering from lifts they did wrong because they tried to keep up with the other gym rats.  Eventually these Resolutioners show up enough that the staff and other members know them by name.  They start to confidently ask if they can work in with you and they don’t slow you down. They stop wearing those big baggy sweat suits and switch to comfortable shorts, t-shirts or even, but possibly a little too soon, tank tops.  They buy clothes that look good on them and don’t just fit.  They stand a little straighter and have more confidence. People notice them, but in a good way.  Finally, next January, they start writing about all the new folks who are in the gym this year, getting in the way and slowing things down. He gives these people a stupid nick-name and posts about them on a web-site dedicated to men and women who are into body-building.  He almost forgets where he was just a little over a year ago until he’s almost finished with the post, looks up at the picture of his four kids and him at the beach (he’s wearing a baggy t-shirt and huge trunks that go past his knees). He also remembers how he couldn’t play tag with his kids because just walking fast winded him.  He decides that during his next visit to the gym instead of complaining about all the Resultioners getting in the way, he’s going to help and make them feel welcome.

Have you helped a Resolutioner today? 

I’ve started using chalk instead of gloves because a) my gloves got torn up by my dog and (more importantly) b) Mark Ripptoe makes a good argument in his book "Starting Strength: Basic Barbell Training" that "Gloves have no place in a serious training program. A glove is merely a piece of loose stuff between the hand and the bar. Gloves make bars harder to hold on to. The only legitimate use for a glove is to cover an injury, like a torn callus or cut, where the workout is important enough to do with the injury. A desire to prevent callus formation (possibly so as to not snag one’s pantyhose) does not constitute a legitimate use."

With that in mind I bought some chalk and headed to the YMCA for my workout.  What a freekin mess!  The block of chalk started out okay, but halfway through my workout it fell apart while I was rubbing it on my hands and chalk went all over the place. I was able to clean most of it up with my towel, but I was embarrassed to say the least.  I was also getting some looks from the attendants like they weren’t sure if I should be using chalk or not (there’s no sign that says you can’t). When I got home I figured out that if I put the chalk in an old sock and then carried the sock around in a ziplock bag then I could open the bag, rub the sock with the chalk in it between my hands and that would keep the chalk powder from flying around in a cloud and drawing attention to myself.  I have to say that my grip has gotten better in just over a week of using chalk instead of gloves and, oddly enough, my lifts have gotten a bit easier even though I’m moving up in poundage.

I’m not as militant against glove use as Mark is, but I can see why he advocates chalk use over gloves.  Chalk allows me to be in contact with the weights I’m lifting and that contact gives me a mental boost I didn’t realize I was missing. Now my workouts are more raw and primal. I put a little extra on the bar, chalk up, grab the weights  by the throat, start squeezing and don’t stop until either the weights are dead or my set is finished (I’ve killed two barbells so far and am currently wanted in three gyms state-wide).

Give it a try and if you’re worried about callous build-up just make sure to wash your hands after your workout with a moisturizing soap and/or use hand lotion regularly.

Like Mark said; "If your gym doesn’t allow you to use chalk then it’s not a gym, it’s a spa."

I changed the blog’s title because, well, it’s what I am: a lifter who has Adult Attention Deficit Disorder (AADD).  I always felt I had to work twice as hard to get half as much done as other kids, but I always managed through force of will and sheer dogged determinence to get things done when they needed to be. When I joined the military I added "discipline" to my arsenal of weapons to use against my then unknown mental enemy, ADD. After years of struggling with ADD (and having two of my four children diagnosed with ADD & ADHD), I went and had myself tested.  That was almost two years ago and I have to credit my diagnosis and subsequent medication in part to my current physical fitness and renewed love of heavy lifting.

Now I know not knowing about and not treating my ADD was the main contributing factor in keeping me out of the gym, away from the weights, fat, unhappy, struggling at work and being an ******* (well being more of an *******, anyways).  As much as I hate to say it, taking one little pill a day has virtually saved my life, marriage & job.  This all goes to show you that if you think something is wrong, you might just be right!  Whether it’s physical or mental, go talk to a doctor about it and get things checked out.  For me it was ADD. For my wife, it was a heart condition (caught early and being properly treated). What is it with you?  Hopefully it’s nothing, but if you have a shimmer of a doubt, you get your ass to a medical professional and get whatever it is checked out ASAP.  Don’t screw around with your health, folks.

Y’all go heavy or go home!

http://adultadd.info/

http://www.baltimorepsych.com/adultadd.htm

http://www.add.org/ 

http://www.theworldsstrongestman.com/

You need motivation?  This IS motivation!  I watch these guys throw around those enormous weights and I get <bleep>’ing psych’ed up!  Even my kids love it (they keep asking me, "when are you going to be on there daddy?") I wish I could get these shows on DVD and have them running while I’m at the gym.  That way when i’m struggling and whinning about trying to squat 350lbs, I can watch guys like Phil Pfister pulling a <bleep>’ing train, lifting the Fingal’s Fingers or endure the shoulder wrenching of the Hercules Pillars not to mention I love the song "Adrenaline" from 12 Stones (it’s like that rip was made for power lifting!)  Right in the middle of that show my wife asks me "can you move these boxes to the attic, hon?"  You’re GD right I can move those boxes!  I chalked up and I moved the hell out of those boxes, baby! WHOA! (Now she’s very cautious on her timing when she asks me to move stuff).

Tonight is gym night and I am healthy, sick-free and ready to rock.

May God have mercy on the squat rack, because I won’t!

Spent two hours in the gym Saturday going through every exercise on my 5×5 workout (Squat - Bench - Rows - Dead Lifts - Presses & accessory exercises) to get my body used to working out again. I can tell my shoulder is going to bug me for a few more days (weeks, if I don’t watch it).  I’ll workout again Thursday & Saturday, getting back into things full force on Tuesday, January 8th.

Happy New Year, y’all!