My stuggle
Well I have blogged before about my lack of motivation and sometimes the "will power" to do what I know is right concerning my eating and my working out.
I have recently really had a rough go of it - knowing that I should not eat candy and feeling like I am powerless to stop. Knowing that soda of any kind (even the diet) ramps up my cravings and my struggles and feeling sooo drawn to it that I am powerless. Knowing that carbs (the bad kind) in excess will not get me closer to my goals - and how serious are those goals if I can’t remember them when there is cake present.
I am soon to be 40 (in Dec.) and was talking to my husband last night - mentioning that I have been struggling with food and my eating for the better part of 15 years. Struggling to lose 5 to 10 lbs - feeling good about the way I look after losing a few pounds and then completely derailing myself by eating in excess, wrong foods, too late - then gaining back the few pounds that I had lost.
I seriously think I have lost and gained the same 5 to 15 lbs repeatedly every year for 15 years - why do I continue the same cycle again and again?
My focus is now going to be shifting to the "why" - why do I eat the junk that I do - why can I not stop with a bite - why do I stand at the beginning of this cycle (knowing that I am on the edge) and proceed.
I will be jounaling not only what I eat (yeah it’s a pain), but when I eat and at those times of temptation what I am feeling (is it stress, sadness, boredom). Finally, I will be learning - making more of an effort to keep clean eating articles, recipes, thoughts in front of my face.
I want off this hamster track - I am not helpless - I am in control. Now I need to ACT like it!
November 5, 2008 at 12:22 pm
I share your frustrations with the eating side of the equation. Generally, it’s munching at night after dinner. Probably some combination of stress, comfort food, lifetime of bad habits, etc.
Don’t beat yourself up too much. Looking at your progress pics, you look GREAT. Most women hitting 40 would love to have your physique. I think it’s easy to idolize perfection, esp with all the amazing bodies on this site. I want to get lean to see the ole abs, but I also try to balance that with keeping it in perspective. Will getting the perfect body be the thing that makes me happy. Don’t think so.
Dec birthday? Me too! Turning 47.
November 5, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Is it too vain to say I am frustrated with always using phrases like: "considering I have had 5 children . . ." or "for being almost 40 . . ." - I don’t know just venting.
I think it’s the "mental frustration" that is most difficult - knowing that I sabotage my own self because of what - sugar?
I agree on not trying to compete with some of the amazing physiques on here - there are some amazing people in here.
On the 13th I will turn 40 - and feel absolutely wonderful - age is still (and hopefully will always be) just a number.
Thanks for the comment.
November 5, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Hang in there….just think that eating candy is great for what, 5 seconds? Then you beat yourself up the rest of the day for that 5 second high. Go ahead and eat some sugar, enjoy it, and move on. Don’t keep letting it suck you in! You are doing this for you and nobody else! You are a beautiful so enjoy your age! …..and have a very happy birthday!!
November 5, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Ironically, chocolate is VERY good for you:
http://blog.bodybuilding.com/BuckSpin/2008/10/12/the-best-tasting-supplement-no-one-knows-about/
I have a recipe for a frozen Nestle Crunch that is not only pretty guilt free but even healthy and good for you. PM me if you want it.