Unbelievable...yesterday a friend of mine who obviously has struggled to maintain his weight approached me to ask me about my success story. He told me he doesn't like going to a public gym and he just doesn't know where to start with his diet, what to eat or how much. In addition to that my cousin and his girlfriend came to me for tips as well. And on top of that my mum asked me this morning to make a dietary weekly food plan for the family, just like I've been offering it for the last 3 months...I was stunned...I had helped a friend of mine with his diet about half a year ago and he lost over 40lbs...but that imense feedback that suddenly...it just baffled me...Eventually all this dedication and hard work pays off a second time. This takes my motivation through the roof. Even though it seemed like not many cared, a lot of them do and I'm willing to help them, show them the change and fascination I discovered in sport and nutrition thanks to many others. I'll do my best to get them on track and of course get my self friggin ripped to show them what motivation, hard work and a lil absence from the bad stuff can do when combined. well...gotta go workout
Here we go. DAY 1. Back on track with a proper diet and a straining muscle building workout routine. I just finished my pre-breakfast cardio and my breakfast that I will imply from now on. My former diet was based on a lot of protein and complex carbs with a low share of fats (unsaturated fats only). After reading certain articles on dieting and XNickEdgeX's diet I decided to try a high protein, moderate carbs and low fat diet with a type of carb cycling, keeping the carbs low during the week and increasing the carb intake on weekends. Let's see how it turns out =)
Just finished putting some homemade protein bars in the fridge...let's see how they turn out =). Probably the only highlight of my day =/. Lately I've experienced mixed feelings about everything, putting me through sudden rages and a feeling of neglect towards everything. Torn between fury and phlegm. Between the urge for vengeance and the urge for rest. I've been having violent fantasies about former bullies that still show a lot of disrespect. It's like all the hatred and shame I swallowed for years, now troubles inside waiting to be released instead of being forgotten. No need for christmas (!) or new years eve or even my upcoming birthday. I'm just confused. Those extremes changes between contrary feelings just creeps me out. It drains me mentally. Except for working out, I can't really get my drive together for anything. Frankly I think I need a lil timeout from some of my friends. They just seem to put me down by their presence. It hurts to see how some people you were really close to for so many years turn out to be so intolerant and ignorant. Why is it that some people just can't deal with change? Why do "Losers" always have to stay the way they are to be accepted by some people? How come some people need to put others down to increase their own self esteem?...questions I got no answers for. But there's one thing I know for sure: I sure as hell won't stop...I won't stop working out...I won't stop dieting and eating healthy...I won't stop bringing the change to my life that has enriched it up to this point and will continue to do so as my life progresses. Whether it's jealousy about my progress or my increase in self esteem and confidence that might scare or irritate them, frankly I don't care what some of them think...
not too long ago my brother-in-law pointed something out to me: no matter if you neglect them, turn your back on them, or even fight with'em...in the end real friends and most importantly FAMILY will ALWAYS have your back...
True words. My Family(and a part of my friends, unfortunately not all) has shown sincere recognition about my change and their frequent support have been a real bless in these difficult times.
Well like always in life you have to hold your head up high and weather the storms life throws at you. Although I don't know how long it is going to take to brighten my mood and overcome this emotional stage, I am certain that my family will support me along the way.
To those who actually read my blog: It is almost 1 A.M. over here and I use this blog to get things of my chest. They aren't meant to scream out for help or anything, only to give me the feeling of having said what there is to say. Still I appreciate your time and thank you for reading this. =)
Well, here we go, two workouts in. =) I got the exhausted, fulfilled postworkout feeling back that I missed so much. I did let myself go dietwise though. My puffy stomach disappoints me, but only makes me wanna diet strictly and workout hard even more. I will see how the winter season and the occasional partying affects my plans, but I'm determined to get results over the winter. =)
I'm fightin depression lately...I'm experiencing a constant fear of failure...lost my drive and motivation in life, struggled with anger problems. I frequently doubt myself and my plans in life, don't know if I can make it through studies, will I be able to get a job afterwards...All those kinda issues circle around in my head...my anger problems make it all worse. I just can't seem to be able of controlling my emotions, they always get the best of me. Especially my anger. They caused another low in sports. Somehow I just can't vent my anger anywhere else but on the field...that just brings up more issues...I'm thinkin about entering some kind of anger management class or getting a self-help book, because I just can't live on like that. I'm sick of takin **** from everybody and then burstin out at sports, or at home because I can't hold it anymore...and on top of that all, I just feel lonely lately...it seems like nobody gets me. They all just roll their eyes, don't understand my behaviour and my lack of will and blame me for it...just because they can't see past the fake smiles, the two-sided mask that kinda holds my problems....
I got my apprenticeship finals coming up on Dec. 2, which are putting a lot of stress on me. Hopefully it'll all change afterwards. Either on the 2nd or the 4th of Dec I'll continue my routine and be able of focusing on my music. Maybe it'll bring along the change I'm waiting for...I'll just hope for compassion from my family and those few friends that've always been there for me.
Today we'll visit my newborn lil nephew in the hospital =) at least there are a few things that cheer me up from time to time =)
wish me luck für my exams...=)
2 weeks off due to injury and lack of motivation...2 weeks off work as well, tryin to get a clear focus on things again...
I'm off my routine this week...finally got my starter position at the soccer team =D...even though I'm makin great progress at soccer, I feel as if I reached a stop at the development of my physique. I will continue with my routine next week and try to get back to the way and hopefully reach a lower bf% in time for the next summer vacation...
due vacation, a few social issues and stress I kinda struggled with my routine...I lost sight and motivation towards my goals...I'm tryin to get that iron mentality back that I used to have last fall and since soccer season's underway I noticed a lack of muscular endurance when it comes to long distance sprints. At the moment I'm putting final touches to my routine and diet to reach 7% bodyfat over the fall/winter
wish me luck
my Kettler Powercenter arrived on friday and I'm currently rescheduling my workout-plan. I still can't manage to get entirely back on my healthy diet, cause I can't resist a lil sweet something every now and then =(. hopefully I can get all my motivation and drive back up and get back on track to that killer physique that's been waiting for me.
I'm overcomin a motivational low right now. I'm workin on bringing back intensity to my workout and I bought a Kettler Basic E which will arrive here on Friday...can't wait to get goin ;D I also want to quit drinkin until vacation and drop it in september again in addition to my old nutritional structure (high protein, complex carbs, low fat) which worked best for me so far. my weight is goin down a lil, but I'm still lacking def.
I've been tryin to lean it out for a few weeks now but results held off. I'll switch to a low carb diet now, hoping that this and increased cardio will do the trick. I only got 6 weeks left =/
didn't really gain that much mass, but since the summer's arrived here, I'll start to cut down. I recently participated in a 8 K run and decided to participate in a few more runs of the Rhön-Grabfeld-Cup. Time to lean it out
workout's goin pretty good so far, I'm back on a bulkin cycle to gain some quality muscle mass before summer. I'll probably start tonin in June/July, we'll see. My diet's a success, goin great so far. Got me Whey and Calcium Caseinate to differ between protein upon wake and night time and I knocked my daily intake about 500 kcal up. The next thing that needs to be improved is my workout posture and injury prevention. I still feel a lil pain in my shoulder from time to time.
On tuesday after soccer the adult team's coach accused me of takin steroids =( I can't believe people can be soo ignorant and narrow-minded. Just because I suffer from acne on my back and face doesn't mean I'm takin anabolic drugs. I earned all the results myself, through strict clean dieting, workin out regularly and adamantine dedication to my goals. How can someone, jealous of results, accuse me of drug abuse? I was shocked when I heard and I defended myself, but the rumors are established now and I'm probably facing a hard time fighting prejudice and accusations...=(
I'm finally back in my routine again, my shoulders are good so far and I will pay more attention to proper posture during reps. I found a great site to count calories and get a great overview of my daily needs and actual intake. My diet's goin pretty well and I decided to add a pickout day to it and get some cheese, maybe some skittles and a huge knuckle of meat