My talking out loud

Today was leg day at the gym and i wasn’t supposed to be doing cardio today but after my free day and a half i decided to go for it. So i managed to knock out 30 min on the Elliptical first thing this AM then went off to the gym did legs, then another 20 min on the Treadmill. Eating so far has been spot on, just finished my lunch of chicken, sweet potatoe and green beans..yummy! Sound familiar? Im sure that is very common around here.

I am a little nervous about my gym goings tomorrow…see my son’s dr’s appt got moved around so that puts us going to the gym in the evening verses my usual morning time. No biggie right???Wrong! Thats when all the big boys come out to play or I should say lift! I am used to my morning crowd where they all know me and know I am a goof ball who has lost a bunch of weight, the people at night look at me like I am a freak…I mean a girl lifting weights??? Could she possibly know what she is doing???? I feel like I am on display and my every move is being watched. Now i know this isn’t true, its just my insecurities creeping up and amping up my anxiety but I am soooooo insecure and i hate that about myself! But on the other hand the good news is the last time I had to go at night my anxiety had my heart rate going so good that I was always in my "zone" and i burned so many more calories than usual!!! I know, Get Over It right??? I am a creature of habit who is slowly learning to come out of her shell!

As always, Thanks for Reading and not laughing to hard at me!

MGG

Hi everyone!

So this is my first blog and as a stay at home mom I don’t have many people to talk to (outside of my gym of course) so i thought this would become a nice option for me.

Todays topic on my mind is….You ever feel like a fraud? Strange question to ask, I know but sometimes I do. Let me explain…I am so close to loosing a grand total of  95lbs.(2lbs away!!!) Now I have worked my butt off to get to this point but people that know me look at me with admiration for my Dedication and my Will but truth be told sometimes that Dedication and Will goes out the window and I feel like  such a fraud like i need to announce to people that i caved, that my Will is not that strong! What led me to feel this way this weekend was my latest binge, why can’t I be like most and have a cheat meal? Mine goes from a meal to eating whatever I can usually over a 2 day period! Then the whole time I am thinking of all the people that I inspire to loose weight and i feel like such a fraud! Now, I know that I have lost the weight through Clean Eating and Training I also know it has taken me a little over 2 years to accomplish and I know I am not really a Fraud that I am human but this guilty feeling just won’t go away! Funny part is I will walk into the gym tomorrow feeling  guilty and most people will know I had a binge…how you ask? Well see after my ocassional episodes I announce my guilt by showing up in VERY loose fitting/baggy clothes, its a dead give away! Most people by now even know that the culprit was penut M&M’s (and we aren’t talking the size you find at the checkout…nope, try the family size)! So am I crazy for feeling so guilty?????? I like to share my weight loss story, in fact I am so proud of it I share it all the time and try to inspire others, but sometimes I wonder what kind of insipration am I really if I can’t keep my hand out of the cookie jar so to speak!

Now that I wrote a book…I will be going! Thanks for reading I am so glad I got that off my chest!

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