LEANER,SEXIER, DETERMINED!

Hello everyone…back again and yes I am still competing on Nov 1st. Its been a while since I blogged, its been so busy but Im back so you all can know where I am.
Its 3wks and 4 days until show day…..YIKES! I have been training hard and cardio, cardio. Everything seemes to be coming along well I just hope it all goes well on show day. I have to admit its been a tough few weeks….ive made some slip ups,…ate something I shouldnt have but I always got back on track and its 95% clean eating. I know these last few weeks will be the toughest and in actuallity I have only 2wks and 4 days left since the last week is a write off. So I will hopefully post some pics by week end and blog again soon, if not everyone keep their fingers crossed and me on their minds cause I need the extra help right about now

Hey everyone thought I’d stop by and write a post today cause I am excited
Talk about what a day of proper eating can do for you..I will be posting pics tomorrow but I am so excited with the fact that I am losing the fat or atleast some, my problem area(upper thigh and butt) is coming along slowly….but I know I am losing there also cause all my pants are loose around the hip area and just below my butt cheeks. But the exxcitement is coming from the way my abs are popping today, my co-worker mentioned to me that she can see my that my arms are defining more, now that is excitement!!!
So I am doing more cardio, for the past two days I have been up and on the bike 30min each time, I think that is what is gonna make the difference, it is funny how different my body is shaping up this time around, its definately not the same, in a good way. I am excited to showcase all the hard work and dedication that I have put into for this show, the fact of doing this all with three kids, work, seperation and selling a house all says something to me about me. I dont give up and I will fight to the end. I am a stronger person to be able to come out on top and I am going to put my all into this, no half-assing it and no giving up. No not doing my cardio and no skipping workouts, it is only 5 weeks and 4 days until the show…that is nothing….I can do this

Hello everyone who choses to read my blog, I am feeling good today, its a rest day. I am six weeks away from hitting the stage again and I am optomistic and just cant wait. Looks like I will be able to either purchase or rent some suits for the show, I cant wait to see them, I will be doing that at the end of the month. Still have to buy shoes but that is a minor detail right now. If you have followed my progress pics you will see my progress is coming along. Although I lost weight due to a stressfull event in my life it really gave me a head start, I dropped about seven lbs, I put on a pair of jeans the other day that I was never able to get past my legs and butt, I put them on friday and I could button them, I could actually button them up, they were still tight in the thigh area but around the waist it was actually loose, actually now that I think of it all my pants are too big now, its really got me pretty pumped
So 6 weeks away and the time is gonna fly, I am determined to hit that stage looking the best I can and I am walking away in top 3, screw that I am walking away number 1!!! Wish me luck. I will be posting atleast every week or more until show day.

Here I am back again so much has happened in the last week. I am now seven weeks out and although I still will compete I have had to deal with so much. I am in the midst of seperation, selling my house and trying to make sure my kids will be able to eat. All this because of one person and their actions, I can’t change what happened but I can change what will happen from now on. To have someone who’s been in your life so long betray you in the way he did me and my children, its hard to deal with. Now he has to deal with the charges laid against him which is fine cause he has to pay for what he has done, no doubt about that but the ripple effect is astounding.
So I haven’t trained all week, I have lost weight due to stress and my mind is mush. I know I have to get back on track, its just hard. Just when you think your life is on track it throws you a curveball….it just sucks!

So its crunch time, I cant believe its 2 months out from my second competition. I feel good, excited and ready to kick butt. It seems everyday I see something new that makes me feel like "yes" I am going to be on and then there are days when I feel like its just not good enough. Today is an in between day….so hopefully I feel great tomorrow.
I had an opportunity to meet my "coach" or so I like to call him. My workout was alot more intense and I am still feeling it today(lol) cause you know you are working alot harder with eyes over your shoulders
That being said every workout has to be just as intense until show day, I am determined to place in top 3 or damn close to it and I want to leave that show wanting more!!
Also my calories and carbs have been cut down so that I can jump start some more fat loss and I am looking into getting on some fat burners to help out with the process, I will be posting pics by the end of the week so everyone can see how Ive come along….:D

Before I lay down and sleep off the intense workout I did today I wanted to talk about that one thing you know is going to happen but are never really prepared for(as a woman). My breast are slowly getting smaller and smaller….I dont like it
So Ive got to consider the fact that it means I am losing bodyfat but I still dont like it
What is going to happen once I seriously cut down, I aint going to be left with much, lol, what’s a girl to do…..now I am thinking that I am going to have to buy me some, either that or gain back the weight……which is no option right now.
With all the risks of having that kind of surgery and everything that comes after, is it really worth it? I know my bf doesn’t want me to get them cause he says they dont feel nice but they sure are nice to look at
So if I was to continue to compete should I get them to complete the package or not? While I sleep on that thought it would be great to get feedback on this from anyone who has thought of doing it, done it or any men who want to put their comments in….

That is the mantra of the day, eat, sleep, train, repeat,but right now I cant sleep. Its been hard trying to sleep but once I am sleeping I cannot get up the next day. I think everything is just sucked out of me, between training, working, kids and life in general I am wondering how I am doing this?? Why am I doing this??
It has only been 1 and 1/2 weeks since I have been cutting and it feels like months, tuna is my best enemy/friend, I need to start a chicken farm to support the daily chicken eating and water has taken on new meaning….eating every 2-3 hrs and working out, sweating, hurting and pushing….why, why??
Just so I can look the best, the best….yeah I sacrifice to look the best. I sacrifice the food, the time, the things u just want but cant, I am sacrificing for the bigger picture….you’ll see it too or if you already have then you know that I mean, the fire is burning…..
which is probably why I cant sleep

I am having a breakdown inside, you see on friday afternoon I filled out the form and cheque, put it in an envelope, licked it, sealed it and dropped it in the mail and as it slipped through my fingers my heart started beating. I sent it in…..I have sent in the registration for the S.A.F model search which is being held on the same day as the comp. Which means I am doing it! I have committed myself, I have paid for it, I am locked in .
So now I cannot back out last minute. Very proud of myself cause I almost didnt mail it, I was going to wait until monday but I knew I had to send it.
Yesterday was my sons 4th b-day, I was good, no cake, brought my own food while everyone else was having kfc. Then came home and had two mini-bags of popcorn(smart-pop) which is not on my diet but I just had to have (lol) not bad though, could have been worse.
So today is quads, chest, tris and alactic cardio, It will be the first time I will actually get to run through the whole workout since I started the new workout, usually I have only gotten through half due to time but that half was killer so we will see how I do with all of it. My weight is dropping since starting the new workout, about a 1lb a week which is right on target to get me to my goal for the show.
So I am going to pull myself out of bed and get this day started, cant be slacking I have a show in 10 weeks

It’s 10wks tomorrow until the show, I am still sick but I’ve still been in the gym and still eating what I am supposed to. I feel like I am in some kind of twilight zone, I feel like I’ve lost weight or leaned out or something but still feel the same??? How is that possible. One day I wake up feeling wow and the next I feel flat? I am not going to let it discourage me though cause I am determined to do this show in November, it’s a must, I’ve made the commitment to myself to do it. I am also going to enter the S.A.F modelsearch that is happening that day also, why not right, seeing as I am going to be there anyways. I have just filled out the form and I am going to put it in the mail which means I am no way going to back out cause I will be sending the payment also and I dont like to waste money so it will be a done deal.

 It’s been five days of the new workout and diet. I have gone down in bodyfat and the scale is finally moving just ever so slightly . and the definition is showing day by day. I am sooo excited and can’t wait to post some pics, I figure after another week I will take new progress pics and post them and go from there. Other than that everything is status quo, back to work now. Dont really want to but gotta make money to support my bodybuilding habit

I caught a cold, I hate being sick and it doesn’t help cause I have just started on a new diet so the transition into that and being sick has made me one crabby person. The up side is that I have no sense of smell which makes eating tuna a breeze (LOL).

So my diet is strict and to the point and no cheating for atleast the next 2 wks. I can definately see how this is going to whip me into the shape I need to be, coupled with the new workout plan it is going to kick my ass into gear.

Today’s workout is back and biceps plus chest and triceps cause I couldn’t fit it all in on monday so it will be an interesting workout I’ve only got an hour to work with so I will have to run through real quick and hopefully be able to get in my cardio after, if not will have to do it after work, maybe on a track close to home, we will see.

So off to the gym, wish me a good workout