LEANER,SEXIER, DETERMINED!

Before I lay down and sleep off the intense workout I did today I wanted to talk about that one thing you know is going to happen but are never really prepared for(as a woman). My breast are slowly getting smaller and smaller….I dont like it
So Ive got to consider the fact that it means I am losing bodyfat but I still dont like it
What is going to happen once I seriously cut down, I aint going to be left with much, lol, what’s a girl to do…..now I am thinking that I am going to have to buy me some, either that or gain back the weight……which is no option right now.
With all the risks of having that kind of surgery and everything that comes after, is it really worth it? I know my bf doesn’t want me to get them cause he says they dont feel nice but they sure are nice to look at
So if I was to continue to compete should I get them to complete the package or not? While I sleep on that thought it would be great to get feedback on this from anyone who has thought of doing it, done it or any men who want to put their comments in….

That is the mantra of the day, eat, sleep, train, repeat,but right now I cant sleep. Its been hard trying to sleep but once I am sleeping I cannot get up the next day. I think everything is just sucked out of me, between training, working, kids and life in general I am wondering how I am doing this?? Why am I doing this??
It has only been 1 and 1/2 weeks since I have been cutting and it feels like months, tuna is my best enemy/friend, I need to start a chicken farm to support the daily chicken eating and water has taken on new meaning….eating every 2-3 hrs and working out, sweating, hurting and pushing….why, why??
Just so I can look the best, the best….yeah I sacrifice to look the best. I sacrifice the food, the time, the things u just want but cant, I am sacrificing for the bigger picture….you’ll see it too or if you already have then you know that I mean, the fire is burning…..
which is probably why I cant sleep

I am having a breakdown inside, you see on friday afternoon I filled out the form and cheque, put it in an envelope, licked it, sealed it and dropped it in the mail and as it slipped through my fingers my heart started beating. I sent it in…..I have sent in the registration for the S.A.F model search which is being held on the same day as the comp. Which means I am doing it! I have committed myself, I have paid for it, I am locked in .
So now I cannot back out last minute. Very proud of myself cause I almost didnt mail it, I was going to wait until monday but I knew I had to send it.
Yesterday was my sons 4th b-day, I was good, no cake, brought my own food while everyone else was having kfc. Then came home and had two mini-bags of popcorn(smart-pop) which is not on my diet but I just had to have (lol) not bad though, could have been worse.
So today is quads, chest, tris and alactic cardio, It will be the first time I will actually get to run through the whole workout since I started the new workout, usually I have only gotten through half due to time but that half was killer so we will see how I do with all of it. My weight is dropping since starting the new workout, about a 1lb a week which is right on target to get me to my goal for the show.
So I am going to pull myself out of bed and get this day started, cant be slacking I have a show in 10 weeks

It’s 10wks tomorrow until the show, I am still sick but I’ve still been in the gym and still eating what I am supposed to. I feel like I am in some kind of twilight zone, I feel like I’ve lost weight or leaned out or something but still feel the same??? How is that possible. One day I wake up feeling wow and the next I feel flat? I am not going to let it discourage me though cause I am determined to do this show in November, it’s a must, I’ve made the commitment to myself to do it. I am also going to enter the S.A.F modelsearch that is happening that day also, why not right, seeing as I am going to be there anyways. I have just filled out the form and I am going to put it in the mail which means I am no way going to back out cause I will be sending the payment also and I dont like to waste money so it will be a done deal.

 It’s been five days of the new workout and diet. I have gone down in bodyfat and the scale is finally moving just ever so slightly . and the definition is showing day by day. I am sooo excited and can’t wait to post some pics, I figure after another week I will take new progress pics and post them and go from there. Other than that everything is status quo, back to work now. Dont really want to but gotta make money to support my bodybuilding habit

I caught a cold, I hate being sick and it doesn’t help cause I have just started on a new diet so the transition into that and being sick has made me one crabby person. The up side is that I have no sense of smell which makes eating tuna a breeze (LOL).

So my diet is strict and to the point and no cheating for atleast the next 2 wks. I can definately see how this is going to whip me into the shape I need to be, coupled with the new workout plan it is going to kick my ass into gear.

Today’s workout is back and biceps plus chest and triceps cause I couldn’t fit it all in on monday so it will be an interesting workout I’ve only got an hour to work with so I will have to run through real quick and hopefully be able to get in my cardio after, if not will have to do it after work, maybe on a track close to home, we will see.

So off to the gym, wish me a good workout

Hello all, cant sleep had to write.Had a great weekend, played a softball tourny and played like phenomonally, we played 3 games saturday and lost all three. Played 2 games today and won both and by some miracle we made it to the "B" division championships and then we won, we won!!!! I am sore in places you dont even want to know about but i played with one thought in my mind the whole game, that I was gonna put all of me in the game, I was gonna play the best to my abilities and as long as I did that I was good, and if I messed up I’d shake it off and move on and because of that I was on fire!
So it got me thinking, I want to compete, its not for everyone but I am good at anything I focus on, but my focus gets swayed by other people, other things. I know I can do this, damn I could take it and run…but Ive got to keep my focus, put my all into it and do the best that I know I am capable of, not what other people think but what I KNOW I can do!
I am armed with a new workout and diet courtesy of Camster (the man!!!!) that I start tomorrow and my god my eyes are still spinning from what he is asking of me, but like I said before my trust is in him and I trust him to bring me to the best I know I can be.

It will be 11wks this saturday, 11 weeks until competition and that’s around the corner, yikes!
Where is the time going, gotta see a lady about the suit, buy shoes, book my sis for makeup and hair, practice posing, then practice somemore, all while working and being a mom to 3 adoring children. I am just crazy!! Thats how I feel. Tomorrow is a day off from work but I will be heading to the gym for back and biceps. There is a baseball tournament on sat and sun so that will be my cardio. Sunday is supposed to be leg day, heavy leg day so I have to work that in after the last game sunday, its gonna be a crazy weekend! Hoping that it all goes well, so off to bed now, not really tired but gotta sleep right?

Today was cardio day, and the champ was in the house
I did interval training, on the treadmill,I was full tilt for 60 secs and 30 secs catch my breath, uh-huh…in the zone man….in the zone..!!
then I fell off the treadmill
Nah just kidding, it was good though I was cruising and surprisingly not hacking up a lung.  Tomorrow is my second leg day of the week, my legs are still tender from sunday, atleast its a light day so it shouldnt be too bad.
All that said had a crap day at work and want the day to be over, better yet the week to be over..almost there

Today was heavy leg day and I kicked ass!!! I had loads of energy and I hit them good , talk about walking, oh I mean hobbling away happy. I am out of that funk I was in last week and ready to kick into high gear cause time is going quick and there is no slacking allowed, hope to post some picks by next week to show where I am at. Today was a good one!!!!!

You know when you get to 12 weeks out that it is just so close, and yet so far away. I want to say I feel prepared but I kinda dont
I am at a point of feeling training is good and I feel like I’ve made some good gains, I can see it, but can I see myself being where I need to be on November 1st, I just worry I wont be ready. I am working out each bodypart twice a week now, my shoulders are more defined as well as my triceps, my quads I definately see improvement which is nice. My bodyfat is between 16-17%(has been for the last couple weeks) but the scale says Ive gone up 5-7lbs which is annoying, I know, I know, dont look at the scale but cant help it.
I am guessing now I will have to start cutting, and now it gets hard, will need all the encouragement I can get. I know I can do this, I know I can, dont give up!!