LEANER,SEXIER, DETERMINED!

Stopping in to write a note, I have to say I’ve gone on quite the eating bender since I decided not to compete on Sept 15, it’s like a load was lifted of my shoulders. Fortunately I will be going back on comp diet at the end of my 1 week vacation from work which will leave me with 15 weeks until the next comp in November. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, it’s like my body cannot seem to move from my current weight of 135. I’ve been stuck there and it just won’t move. I know my game has to step up if I want to meet my goal weight, it’s only a measly 10lbs but it’s a stubborn 10lbs (just like me). I think I hit a plateau and just need to take a step back, reassess and run full force with a new plan. There is no easy way to lose weight and you have to be strong willed and actually want it. I feel my determination has slowed down. I know what I want but I want it like NOW, but that’s not how it works. You have to be patient and work hard and envision the end product. It did not help that after the last show I put on like 10lbs extra after binging on carbs(lol) Anyways 1 week off off dieting, I will still train and train hard but dieting on hold until I am back to my work schedule. Hopefully that will pick my mood up and give me the drive to continue, we will see

It’s been a long time since I’ve wrote. I did my first competition on June 30, 2007 at the IDFA classic in Toronto. It was fun and I met a great bunch of girls there. It made me want to continue doing more shows and getting better. I have continued training and have gone back on diet after 2 weeks of cheating here and there. So here I am, It will be exactley 8 weeks until the next show starting tomorrow. Time to switch back into major training mode. But I need some encouragement. I want to lean down and also make some muscle gains (which I know is impossible together). Unfortunately right now I have the added stress of kid problems(tantrums gallore) and feeling like I am in a position of being in a relationship that is stuck in neutral. It is putting so much stress on me inside that I don’t know what to do with myself and it is affecting my goals. So here I am at almost 3am writing a blog where as if I was in my usual state of mind I would be sleeping looking forward to tomorrow. It sucks..I know what I want and I know what I need. I want to train, I want someone beside be training with me, giving me the extra push. I want to be happy and as every day goes by I realize I am not. TRaining brings my happiness, I wish I could just train, eat, sleep and love my kids and everything else out the door. If life were just that easy