Cruiser’s Current Thoughts

So this weekend was: Blah

Today, Monday, was even MORE BLAH. I wont go into details on how sh*tty it was, but I was constantely getting discouraged throughout the day, from the moment I woke up. And it just kept on coming, over and over. Being late, wrong uniform, can’t work, nothing going right, forget my snacks so Im hungry, near breakdowns…

I got home, and just did nothing. I sat down and just pondered. Im telling myself that I need to at least get to the gym, cause if I start failing on that, then I WILL breakdown. Thats all I have going for me right now. So I debate with myself for a little bit. Its cold outside, but I dont want to drive. So I pull myself together, and get changed. Slowly, but surely. Grab my bag, and I walk, knowing very well (and kinda hoping) that it could rain on me on along the way.

I get to the gym, and start pulling out my usual things: Gloves, Ipod, pen, notebook, waterbottle…Then I got mad. I dont know why, but I got really angry at myself. Im pathetic. Why the hell am I dragging like a punk. What the hell am I doing, and while this notebook has helped before, is it helping now or giving me excuses? What the f*ck do I keep coming here and still getting soft around the waist, obviously SOMETHING is not WORKING……

I throw the book in the bag, lock the locker, and head to the weight room where I just kept moving. I tend to give some decent advice, yet many times Im a hipocrite to my own sayings. Yesterday I said I will keep moving forward, yet its been more like a drag. So today I really moved forward. And I kept moving without stopping. 1 minute rests, and no more. Hammer Pull ups, Cable flys, Lat Pulldowns, SM Flat Press, …hmmm, Cable Lat Pulls, and dips, topping it of (like topping off with icing) with rotator cuff raises. 4-6 sets total. Took me 1 hour. Got an awesome workout. Heart rate was constantely up, and I kept moving. Going to stick with this ‘1 minute rest’ thing for a while. I like constant movement.
I found something, I dont know what it is, but I found it. And I let myself be pathetic these past 4 days, and FOR WHAT. No one ain’t gonna feel sorry for me, no one’s gonna help me, and there are very few people that give a damn. So why am I being a punk? I was MAD in the gym. Mad at myself. Mad at whats going on. Mad at where everything is headed. And I will not let myself be kicked down! I let the god damn AF do that for the first 2 years I was in. How the hell am I gonna let this happen to me again?

I need hope, and no one is going to give me hope but me. Now, if y’all’ll excuse me, I have some catching up to do with what I SHOULD have done this weekend.

Get MAD.

58% is daily activity. 33% is rest. 8% is workout activity. 1% is making the effort.

This is what I calculated to this whole healthy lifestyle between all the important factors. Between clean/proper eating throughout the day (58), at least 8 hours of sleep each night for adequate rest (33), and then gym time which seems to be the smallest factor, BUT still a factor non the less. The 1% I just threw in there cause it just takes effort to live this way. Not much, one just has to be willing to do it. I know I have to get more rest, and clean/proper eating has improved MUCH but still has room to work with.

Speaking of food…

Junk Food: Okay. 4 days into this ‘NO SIMPLE CARBS PERIOD’ and every f-ckin day has presented me with JUNK FOOD! I talked about the pizza on monday in the previous blog. Yesterday I get home and my sister had made chocolate chip cookies, very CONVENIENTLY coming out of the oven when I get home! Today, I took the cookies to work to get rid of them, only for a few to be taken. They smelled WONDERFUL! Then today with my volunteer group, even after I denied theater food (I snuck in turkey slices) they still brought me a small popcorn and a coke… hmmmm….my stomach growling, I ALMOST ate the popcorn thinking popcorn AIN’T that bad…except they add so much butter and salt! But I didnt, and handed it off for someone else to eat it.

Monsters Vs. Aliens: Awesome movie! Seth Rogan is the voice for the blog and does an awesome job. Stephen Colbert voices the president and does a great job on that as well, to include the first act of the president! HILARIOUS! Worth watching.

Chewing: One of the most ANNOYING moments in life (for me) is sitting in a movie theater, just as the previews begin, "THIS SUMMER, BLAH BLAH BLAH, COMING IN JUNE’ then silence between that preview and the next. DURING this silence, EVERYONE in the damn theater wants to shove 2 hand fulls of popcorn into their mouth and chew DISGUSTINGLY LOUD! I have a HUGE pet peeve when it comes to people chewing with their mouth open. I HATE IT! And also the movie silence. I hate both.

Challenge: Did not expect for there to be so much junk food around me. I want it. My body wants it. But its that 1% that helps me say no. Without that effort, I’d be right back where I used to be. Start with that 1%, effort/consistency/JUST GO, and the rest will eventually fall in to place. As long as one sticks with that 1%.

Very original title, huh? Well, its true. And we ALL have to do this in some way when it comes to fitness and nutrition. Whether it’d be not eating that greasy but AMAZINGLY delicious pizza, going to the gym instead of watching your ALL TIME favorite show on tv, or not going out with friends to drink cause your on a strict cutting plan…

Yeah, we all have to sacrifice something or many things. Its not an easy lifestyle, but it is very rewarding. It definitely hurts at times cause, in my case, 23 years of not really caring too much, and then suddenly trying to change that kind of habit in a year.

These next 4 weeks will probably be the most insane weeks of my life. I will ACTUALLY try (and achieve) to cut up/build up. STRICT diet for the entire 4 months, with maybe 4 cheat days JUST to keep my sanity a bit. And even those cheat days are an ‘IF’. I wont do them if I dont have to. Gym days will increase to 6 days. One of those will be strict cardio. Oh, and the one that may hurt the most: NO ALCOHOL.

April Fools: This is not an april fools joke. I mean it. Although many of you got me with your april fools (y’all know who you are…..haha), this is not one of those. This will be one of the biggest sacrifices I have ever made in my entire life. I will be alienating family and friends. I will not be able to go out on the weekends. Gym time will take priority, PERIOD. Food will be clean, PERIOD. I WILL make a mark on this MuscleTech Competition,

PERIOD.

Someone asked me about it not too long ago. Why do I do it, and how do I put up with it. Why do I even bother with fitness and nutrition.

Well, the ’sad’ part is, it is my life now. Its priority. It consumes my thoughts for nearly the whole day, day after day. What I eat, when I eat, what Im working out. How Im working out. When to take my vitamins, when to get to the gym. I accidentally became a health freak, very inadvertently. To look at ALL the labels and make sure calories are low, fat is low, sodium is low, sugar is low. Also keep protein high, fiber high, and whole grains, and all natural foods or as best that I can find. To know that what Im doing has made me an outsider and my real life social life has DRASTICALLY gone down and is nearly none existent. I had to give up something. The social life was a HUGE sacrifice since I went from the party guy who was always down for the cause, to the health nut that is no fun anymore…I’ve been told a LOT of my old ‘friends’ have been talking some MAD sh-t behind my back. Nice to know what they truly feel, huh? I do miss the old days, and its been a struggle to stay on this course to this new style of living.

But I love it. I love seeing the changes, knowing that what Im putting into my body is great for me. Knowing that I can out run others without trying really hard because I take care of myself (see previous blog). Knowing that in time, and it will TAKE time, I will be looking in the mirror and see a body I never thought could be mine. AND IT WILL HAPPEN. I have to keep on course, and am thankful that I have the knowledge and will power to keep with it.

In the real world, I am alone in this quest. I dont have anyone I can talk nutrition to, no one to come out and spot me, no one that truly understands why I do this. My sister is slowing getting into my eating habits, but thats mainly cause its the only kind of foods I have in my house. Shes out of luck. HAHA.

So! This is a thank you to all the fitness friends on this site, for support, motivation, INSPIRATION, and my favorite, the laughs! This is the only place I can relate to people with, and why Im on here day after day. BB.com IS my social life. Kinda sad, but what can ya do?

I love this site, I love my new life, I love the changes, and I love pizza and tortas!

But I’ve keep those 2 foods limited now…

JUST GO, DAMNIT!

1 year mark. Its been roughly 1 year since I started going to the gym and been extremely consistent with it. Im happy. Im sure my body is too. WAY more knowledgeable since in lifting, overtraining, and especially nutrition. Am I where I want to be? Not even close. Am I an expert? I’ll consider myself a knowledgeable beginner. I still have much to learn, and much to grow.

I dont care to be huge, I just want to be muscular. I figured 160lbs of mass would look alright on me. 15 lbs to go, as always. And I cant seem to get to that weight with muscle. But also, I at least know why and who to blame. I know why, and I accept it. Its who I am, and how I am. I will not change, but I can adjust.

-I accept that I enjoy alcohol. This will keep me from my goals. It will kick me back a few steps that I work so hard to achieve throughout the week, so I will only drink once a week. Twice is pushing this. I realize the consiquences, and I accept this.

-I accept that I am mexican and enjoy many traditional foods that are considered unhealthy. I will continue to eat these, but less frequent. I will opt to find the same foods, but with less fat, carbs, sodium, etc. Some foods I will drop all together because they contain lard. ….and lots of it. But I’ll keep eating my tortas, flautas, carne asadas, enchiladas (made the REAL way), corizo and I accept this.

-I accept that I have a TON of energy usually and can easily spend 3 hours at the gym 7 days a week. I will try for an hour and a halfs work at the gym and I still come out 2 hours later. I can’t help it, I love working out. I will try my best to not overtrain, since I know this has played a huge role in why I havent grown and in some cases gotten weaker. But if it happens, it happens and I accept this.

-I accept that I dont have the best tasting food out there. Many times I have thrown out the food that I make and just make myself a sandwich and call it a day. I will continue to explore this world of nutrition and learning the ways of seasonings. But one thing I do know is that even the shitty tasting food I make is good for me. If I can’t eat clean, I’ll at least try to eat good, and I accept this.
-I accept that I am trying to live and eat better because I know that it will be benificial in the long run. I get A LOT of shit from people when I come in to work with my cooler full of clean foods. A lot of people make fun cause Im not big and I go to the gym. I get made fun of, but me being me just smile back and go with it. These people cannot bring me down, but they are out there and they try, and I accept this.

-I accept my genes. My family has the hair loss gene, and the round tummy gene. I understand that I cannot change the gene inside me, but I will continue the fight against it. The gene is there, and I accept the damn thing.

-I accept that I dont get much sleep and this too is a draw back. Work, partying, or just staying up late. I can function rather efficiently on just 5 hours of sleep for weeks at a time if I needed to. I know this one has also played a roll on recovery. I will try to get better sleep, but if I dont, I dont and I accept this.

-I accept that I do not refuse free anything, even food. I get goodies, cakes, jell-os and get invited to dinners and its no where near my clean eating route. But I will not say no. This is why I gain weight when I go on a vacation. But oh well, I enjoy not having to cook for myself and these meals are DELICIOUS, and I accept this.
-I accept that I like to travel a lot and I dont get much gym time or even do any sort of working out. This also will prevent me from getting to how I want to look/feel/be. Its something that occurs, and I accept it.

-And finally, I accept that this takes time. And everything listed above is pushing back that time. I will no look for any more quick fixes and just keep at it strong. If it take 5 years to reach my goals, it takes 5 years and I accept this.
So with all of this, I know these are the things that will hold me back, make it take longer, or even never let me get to my goals. But this is me, and I wont change. I will adjust as best that I can. I accept this.
Now here are the things that I can and will change. No more excuses, no more whinning.

-I WILL NOT whine anymore. No more ‘ugh, its been ___ months and I still have my gut…’ or any sort of things. I know why, and I am the only one to blame. From now on, its just going out there and doing what I can.

-I WILL NOT let my ipod dying make me want to quit or lag at the gym. This was always an issue in the past and I am learning and improving on getting a workout without my music. Music helps, but I will not make it a requirement.

-I WILL NOT let negativity bring me down. Family and friends or whoever, I will continue down this road and if I ever have kids, I will try to bring them up with clean eating. but thats another story for the future.

-I WILL NOT let supplement ads make me go ‘WOW’ and completely stay from fatburners. So far, multivitimens and protein has done good for me.

-I WILL NOT let lagging body parts discourage me. I am still a beginner, and I dont know how much it will take me to get to where I want to get. But my small arms and small chest will no longer make me want to quit.

-I WILL continue to go to the gym, to eat right, to better myself everyday and work hard to show others that it IS possible. I have been consistant for a year and this has been (with its ups and HUGE downs) a great year. I know I have a huge advantage being single and living alone with no kids. So in having that ADVANTAGE, I will take ADVANTAGE.

-I WILL continue to laugh every possible moment that I can. I will continue to spread the jokes and laughs when I can. This is the best medicine out there, and I love it. Imagine when your laughing really really hard and your stomach starts to hurt. Ab workout? love it. I dont know why I threw this one in there but I did.

If I think of anymore I will post them downt the road. The big ones are just that I will drink, but I wont whine. And in the end, when I dont feel like going to the gym, or I feel discouraged, or something just makes me want to give up…I will stick to my motto that has worked since I adopted it in october.

JUST GO!