Cruiser’s Current Thoughts

Okay, so right now my biggest concentration is getting my new myspace band page up. Helps to market my music, plus the up coming show on the 17th, only 2 1/2 weeks away…

But in bringing up my new site, I want my music remastered. To re-record everything! I figured the smoothness in my playing has improved since last year, so why not re-record. Then I got to put up the pictures again, and add all my friends from my first band page to my newer one. A big reason Im making a new band page is cause I went through a lot of name changes during my first one. Cafe means, clean steel, tainted steel, gaytán lozano, motorbiker, and now Cruiser. I think I like’s me that name and plan on keeping it.

Www.myspace.com/CruiserMikeG

THEN, I have to go out and actually promote the damn show so people attend! Sell tickets, talk about whats gonna be going on at the show. My setlist (which Im going to have to practice a lot a lot a lot), other bands playing, how long its going to last, etc etc…And I dont have many friends, actually non still. Damnit. But Im at least conversating with people at school. This is fun. I now am meeting more people from around here. And of course I want to look damn sexy when Im up on stage so Im kicking my ass day after day working out. So I got to make time for that, as well as going to various aerobic classes to get more feel on veteran instructors.
But then there is school. I have a research paper due, and my topic is…(drum roll) NUTRITION! Haha. I figured its a complex subject, not many people know the basic fundamentals of nutrition, and it will be an eye opener for many. The worst that could happen is I get points knicked off for grammer. But for me, the 900-1000 word limit is gonna hurt. Im going to have a hard time trimming down everything cause I want to include; carbs, protein, fats, vitamins, minerals, and water. Give them each a paragraph. But when I asked the instructor if I can go over the 6 paragraph limit she asked, "No…no keep it at just 6." "All right, just wanted to add another paragraph or two…" "What, do you want to write a book or something?" "Yes!" (lol) So it is due in 2 weeks, so Im gonna be busting my ass on this paper  because I want to get my point across in the most simplified, entertaining way as possible. Give the students, AND the instructor, which doesn’t make mistakes, a new lesson…

But at the same time I am still going to work on the graveyard shift AND looking for a second job to be able to live comfortably. And I still have 1 more class to attend to see if I do get what it takes to be a fitness/aerobic instructor myself. If I do land that job, I’ll be set! But if I dont, back to just looking for a second job! damnit damnit damnit! And they all keep asking me for experience. I CAN SHOOT, I CAN APPREHEND, I CAN STAY VIGILANT, I CAN STAY UP FOR MANY HOURS, I CAN INSPECT, BUT I DONT WANT TO DO ANY OF THOSE THINGS ANY MORE. Damnit! Dont some of these people understand I want a career change? I know your supposed to lie in some cases, but the truth is…I am an outstanding liar. When I want to be. But I am, in many cases, brutally honest. And I stay honest when in an interview. Cause I want them to hire ME, not my lies. But I guess that ain’t working out for me, ain’t it…

So that leaves me with:Damn. School, night shift at work, and my very first show. Plus eating, cleaning, washing, sleeping (lacking in this area, horribly bad) Damn damn damn.

Alright. Current thoughts. Now to start my recording.

October 17th, 2009

Cruiser, the Premier.

Live from the Beauty Bar in downtown Austin. All ages welcome, 21 to be at the bar.

Tickets $8 for advance, $10 at the door.

3 Original songs plus cover songs by Johnny Cash, CCR, and maybe the Eagles!
Im pretty excited, nervous, and also in gear!

I did it over the summer where I dropped everything and concentrated on nothing but fitness. I increased my score for my PT test and got my 95.

This time its just slightly different. Im going to work on the chest, the arms, and try to bring out the six pack just a smidge.

Hello Tabata! Its been a while…

Ready for the pain, and the hate.

Okay, so this starts on thursday morning.

I get off of work, can’t sleep so I do more job searching online, bb.com, myspace. You know, the online routine. About a little after noon, I get a call from an aunt from mexico. She says shes got a couple of my cousins and they’re headed to san antonio. I tell them to drive an hour and a half more and to come up to see me. Cools, they’re coming.

I wake up at about 5 that afternoon. I can’t go back to sleep. So now I just wait for their arrival. They get here just before I gotta go to work. So I tell them I’ll be back at 7 in the morning, and we can hang out a while before they head back home tomorrow in the afternoon. So I have a long dragging night at work. Sleep deprivation is taking a huge toll. I tough it out and go home at the end of the shift.

I get home and tell them to wake me up whenever they decided to wake up. An hour later, I get woken up by the kids. I hang out cause I haven’t seen them in over a year, ad figured I’d take them to this festival going on downtown. 4pm rolls around, they still wanted to do their shopping they had planned, and also they want to stay another night. Im pretty excited, so I take them shopping to where they wanted to go. Now remember, Im only running on an hour’s worth of sleep. At about 8pm, I tell them we need to start heading back so I can get a LITTLE sleep before I got to go to work. Not so much.

We dont make it back until about an hour and a half before I have to leave. We eat, I lay down for about thirty minutes, then head to work.

Man, I ain’t gonna lie, I was sort of a dick. Not to the regulars, but if I didn’t know the person, there was no warm n fuzzies about me. And I was dying. I mean, the previous night, it was taking a huge toll. Last night, I was not functioning. I was falling from a standing position, more than several times. I barely make the shift and stay up another 2 hours before they head out.

Now don’t get me wrong. I love them to death, and did all of this for them. But man, this really really hurt me. I look like a freaking zombie right now. Cause after 7 hours, I woke up, and couldn’t go back to sleep. I think I need a different shift job wise…

But at least they helped buy me a new hat as a birthday present. The hat is bi*chin’! And I dont normally say that, let alone about hats!

Keep on’a rockin’!

Well, let me say that no matter HOW much time I have before I have to be somewhere, I always seem to be rushing out the door and arriving only moments before the set time.

I could have a full hour, but the last 15 minutes, THATS when I decide I need to grab my sh*t and GO! This is nothing new, I have had this bad habit since as long as I can remember. Kindergarden, 1st through 12th grades, MANY MANY MANY times while in the service, which a few got me yelled at…What can I do.

So first, my first class of the day is weight training. Not exactly what I expected, since its more of a gym class than studying the fundamentals and such. Basically, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. But I talked to the instructor and it seems its just a little bit more than just weight lifting. Proper form, 1rep max, 3 rep max, and other tiny things like so are going to be talked about. Now, I already know all of these things, but I’ve never been lectured on it. Just videos, reading articles, and much through trial and error. But now I’ll at least have someone that can correct my mistakes. We’ll see what happens in 12 weeks. I hope I still get credit towards my degree cause I already get 6 kineseology credits through the military, and who knows how many through my fitness and nutrition certification.

NEXT. My english comp. Wow. Truly, deeply, madly, wow. Um. There were just so many things I could say about this class. I was pretty much grinning the whole time because there were so many things I found amusing that shouldn’t be. I caught the instructor say some things that were pretty out there, and after the 3rd quote, I began to write them down. Here’s one that had me stumped:

"Learning doesn’t happen over night."

Umm, okay…lets examine this. Yes, it is true that learning, lets say trigonometry or even something much simpler like using the full capabilities on a Tv remote wont happen over night. But learning, just plain learning, in the context she used it as does INDEED happen over night. In fact, it happens almost instantly. Like, will it really take me a longer period of time to learn that it takes me approximately 20 minutes to get to that class? Or how to use proper hand to mouth coordination to eat? Or how to push a button to use a crosswalk? Or that if I play with fire and get burned, I hope I learn it in that very moment and not down the line so I prevent myself from burning myself AGAIN!
Learning a complex subject does indeed not happen over night, but a SUBJECT. Anyway, this was only one of more to come. Im thinking about after the whole semester is over, typing up her quotes and handing them in to her. ‘I was paying attention!’

Anyway, thankfully I was not the oldest in the classroom. I don’t want to be ‘that guy’. But wow, I am impressed with a few of the ladies. "Bad thoughts, Cruiser, bad bad thoughts! Concentrate on school! Ignore the (bite my lower lip) mmmmm….damnit, ignore it!"

night

WHY IS IT COLD IN THE SOUTH? I THOUGHT I LEFT THAT BULLSH*T UP NORTH 2 MONTHS AGO!

WHERE IS THIS "GLOBAL WARMING"? ALL I KNOW IS THAT IM  COLD, AND IT SEPTEMBER STILL! WTF IS WRONG WITH THAT.

Phew…okay, Im done.

So 2 wonderful things happened today.

1. Any sort of aid from the military or documentatiom, or payment plans for classes fell through. Im sure you’ve heard that the military pays for college for service men and women. Well, what they fail to tell you is it takes quite some time to actually GET that money. So I paid out of pocket because I am tried of the god damn delays. My plan was to go to school in August. That plan fell through. Then it ALMOST fell through for the shortened classes starting now, and I did everything possible to get into classes. What took the most damage? Sleep. 30 hours from sunday evening to monday night I was awake. Then a few hours of sleep, then I drove back to my home town, obtained required records, saw family, and then back and that all took approximately 24 hours, and yes, I was up the whole time. The drive back SUCKED.

2. The money that my kind sister gave me (the one I was blogging about because of the betrayal back in May) to assist with the bills went to the classes I enrolled into today. So its like…yay. Im glad it was there for me when it came time to pay out of pocket, but now I may be slightly struggling towards the middle of October. I don’t like to struggle, just like everyone else. But hey, I tough it out, and press on. We’ll see how everything plays out.

The big thing was, I was tired of not being in school. I got out of the service so I could go to college full time. And due to unfortunate and unperfect timing, I haven’t been able to do it through the aid of the military, so I did it myself. Thank you, thank you, now I remember why I left in the first place. While they make many many promises that only a small percentage they keep, THEY get to decide when to for fill it.

Now Im definitely a little sour, and know that I will be alright once the money starts to roll in. Until then, sour taste!

So Im seriously trying to find a second job. My problem is: 1. I’ve been a cop and ONLY a cop for the past 6 years with ABSOLUTELY NO MOTHER F*CKING INTENTIONS of continuing that field. 2. I will not work in a fast food establishment. Pride? Way too much. But its also the fact that if that is my last resort, I have failed at life. Depression will kick in and I will collapse.

In the end I just dont have any experience in anything else, which is what a lot of places (duh) require.

Wouldn’t it be nice to just be sponsored by a supplementation company? Hel-lo…Cytosports…Talk about being loyal. But thats just a dream. Reality is I need a freakin job till the military decides to for fill their promise.

Do a few extra reps for me, please.

No, not towards fitness…

Towards customers!

No, not towards the average customer…

Towards the expressionless, acknowledgment-less, pricks!

I say hello, good bye, whatever. And they say nothing.

Okay, I’ve complained about this before, I know. It still goes on but I wont blog about it cause it will get old rather fast. But this isn’t a blog about complaining. This is a blog about REVOLUTION after realizing a RESOLUTION.

From now on, when ever I see one of these people, I will be a SHINING STAR full of joy jumping up and down and have enough to go around! I will welcome them with a smile while fighting the urge to jump over the counter and give’em a great’ ol big lovey dovey HUG! I’ll ask them how their day is and if they just stare at me like they usually do, I’ll reply, ‘Yeah, I’d look like that if I was hanging out with the devil all day too. Tends to wear off on ya, dont it?’ And when I see them leaving, Im going to jump up and down and wish them a better day tomorrow and hope to see their SMILING FACES soon while once again fighting the urge to run up and hugging them good bye!

Too much? Well, I will be all smiles when these punks come in. Its just a handful, so I wont be doing this all throughout the shift. But it just annoys me that they go through the trouble of ignoring the comments or they’ll just stare at me and look away.

WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO STARE DOWN AT F*CKING 2 IN THE GOD DAMN MORNING. THE WALL? WHAT A F*CKING LO-SER.

Yeah, come around when the gym is empty so you can show EVERYONE (you, your buddy, and the cricket that snuck in) in there how hard you really are… Dont mind me, I wont pay any attention. I’d rather look out the front doors and stare into emptiness than to hear your miserable grunts while lifting a 30lb bar…I dont actually know. Im guessing.

Again, this is only maybe 5-10 people out of the hundreds that I have interacted with.

But wont they be in for a ‘pleasant’ surprise the next time I see them…

(Evil outro laugh)

In our yellow submarine…

Our yellow submarine…

Our yellow submarine…

We all live in our yellow submarine…

Our yellow submarine…

Our yellow submarine…

Just singing about good times cause we’re living through sh*t times. Dont even feel like sharing the more ‘wake up’ information I just discovered. Too Mad. Too pissed off…
(I never knew the Beatles sang this one either. I always just thought it was a children’s  lullaby!)

I guess keep on’a liftin’

I kinda meant wait, but did it like that purposely. Why? Must I have a reason? Give me a reason why we exist, and I’ll give you the reason between weight and wait.

Off track…as usual.

Anyway, weight is down to 139 again. Good, bad, dont really know yet. Abs are popping out again. I knew they were enjoyin the extra layer of fat during those cold cold summer months in texas…(sarcasm) but it was time to trim down and am doing it rather well.

2 things that are definitely helping:

1: Budget. I can’t afford to go out every time I had a craving, and not feel too guilty cause I was working out a sh*t ton. Can’t buy lots n lots of food so I have to definitely keep an eye on my portions.

2: Budget: I can’t DRINK as much as I used to. Which wasn’t a lot to begin with. Maybe once or twice every 2 weeks. but I’d go OUT to drink. But I guess budget and lack of acquaintances here in austin both aid my lack of intoxication. Good, bad, dont really know yet.

But anyway, fitness classes nearly every day on top of my weight training which is shoulders/traps, legs, back, chest. Then 3 days off. My legs are still sore, and my abs are crying for mercy! Every single fitness class has an 15 minute abs portion. Its not much, but Im always trying for the harder challenges they provide cause I can do that.

Can you?

When the whistle blows

Will time be dead

When the whistle blows

Will one obey instead

When the whistle blows

What will be left

When the whistle blows

Will sound be dead

When the whistle blows

Who had prepared

When the whistle blows

What fills the air

When the whistle blows

What choice can be made

When the whistle blows

It will be too late

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