Cruiser’s Current Thoughts

my previous blog brought joy to me in the morning. About 1pm I got the bad news.

A good friend of mine, sister in arms, long time neighbor in Iraq, passed away today. She was only 24.

This hit me hard, but I had too keep myself in some sort of disbelief. I dont like to hear these kind of things, they just dont flow very well with me. But less than 20 minutes later, Im getting a call from another friend from the desert, one whom I haven’t talked to since october, and figured she was the reason he was calling. And I was correct.

News spread fast between out old squadron, and everyone seemed to be hearing about it rather quickly. At this point, I couldn’t get Ozzy Osbourn’s ‘No more tears’ or ‘no more fear’ song out of my head, which began playing as soon as I found out about her situation.

Its really sad that it came to this, a blow to the heart, especially our old squadron’s heart, cause she was well known and outgoing with nearly everyone in the squadron. 150+, she knew everyone and loved everyone.

The scary thing is, she died in a gym. No one knows exactly what happened, except they tried reviving her with no luck. Me and another friend’s suspicion is supplements. But until we know for sure, the fact remains:

She is gone.

Sadden by this tragety, I only hope that her family pulls through keeping their sanity.

She was a Security Forces member in the Air Force, and she served 1 year in Iraq doing the most dangerous mission SF personnel have ever done in a long time. She survived 1 year in hell. She defended her country along side many of her sisters and brothers, and will be greatly missed.

Rest in Peace, Amber.

On the left column are the PT test results from June 8th. On the right are TODAYS PT test resluts.

Sit ups:                47        55

Push ups:             57        67

1 1/2 mile run: 10:30        10:02

Pride and Glory. I got my 95%. I achieved what I set out for and kicked major ass.

In 22 days, I increased situps and pushups, and decreased my run time. I did not make my 10:00 flat, but this was only something I was aiming for, knowing in the back of my head that I only needed 10:05 to get that 95.

Best of all, I was literally shaking after every exercise, and its been a while since I pushed myself beyond my limits.

How did I do this? Check out the video: I wont do what you tell me

I didn’t just do this for fun, this is really how I trained for 22 days for this test. Screw the test, screw the results, all that matters is achieving

Pride and GLORY.

kinda sad, huh?

No, not really. It really pissed me off. BUT, I came home, took the test and passed so Im kinda back on track now…

6 out of 13 test complete. Gettin there. So close to being halfway done I can TASTE IT! *licks* mmmmm, taste like sweet sweet victory…

And the weird thing is, about 10 minutes after I tested, I got a ring at my door bell with my new books already. BUT FOR THE 5th MOD! Im barely entering the 4th mod, and still have to complete 2 test here before I move on to the 5th…

Even weirder, this is the 2nd time this has happened. When I finished the 2nd test for my 2nd mod, the door bell rang and there were the books for the 4th mod.

Think they’re tryin to speed me up?…haha!

PT Test: Tomorrow I take my PT test. This is what I want to achieve:

10:00 1 1/2 mile run

60 pushups in 1 minute

55 situps in 1 minute

that is all…Too much to ask for? F*ck it, Im going for it. Im going for the GLORY. Cause in the end, no medal, no award, no piece of paper or documentation will matter, just the knowledge of me kickin ass and achieving that 95%.

My head will be high in the end, regardless of the results. I went from a 93%, to a 92.5%, to a ___%.

What’s it gonna be?

This sh*t has happened! HOLY MOTHER OF F*CKING UNFORTUNATE SH*T.

Last Sunday, I AT LEAST couldn’t test. THIS F*CKING SUNDAY IT DECIDES TO SHUT DOWN ON ME WHEN IM F*CKIN 80% COMPLETE WITH THE GOD DAMN TEST.

Im only slightly upset…not that I can only truly focus with studying on the weekends or anything and its the best time for me to test without disruptions…

Great. Now I wrote down all the answers to what I DID COMPLETE, but I dont know if the order of the questions are going to be the same.

Well, now I know…

If I can’t test before 9 F*CKING P-MOTHERF*CKING-M, then I shouldn’t test at all to prevent this from happening again.

Good F*CKING night.

Last day was friday. Almost went yesterday but saw how tired I looked in the mirror (zombie tired) and figured the gym would do more damage than good, so I took a nap instead. But its alright, my PT test is going to be either monday or tuesday and I dont want to be the slightest bit of sore when I do perform so I dont have any excuse with my final scores.

So again, no gym for 3 days…then, on wednsday Im going to go to the gym and see what my maxes are for bench, squat, and deadlift. Maybe I’ll do shoulder press, but not sure yet, we’ll see when that day comes.

Then on thursday Im heading down to texas. So there goes the next 3 days, cause I’ll be spending time with fam on the 4th of july. 2 days of riding, and then the 3rd celebrating.

Then for the next 5 days, Im going to Austin to try to find a place to live and possibly get a job at a gym or SOMETHING. Cause after those days, Im coming back north to cheyenne for the LAST MOTHERF*CKING TIME.

All day friday the movers are coming to pick up my stuff and then my group is having the last party for everyone that is leaving cause there are a nice chunk of people leaving in july. So thats friday night.

Saturday and sunday, with nearly my house empty, Im going to clean up the place so I can finish with my landlady and leave the place. Then the whole next week its finishing out processing the air force and be done with them for GOOD. I dont know what Im going to do in the evenings so I may start hitting the gym up regularly again during this time. Probably whole body exercises.

But then saturday, sunday, monday will be getting ready to COMPLETELY move down to austin and there goes that time.

So thats my schedule for the next 3 weeks. I dont know how Im going to incorperate workouts during the times Im searching and especially driving down there twice, but I’ll see what I can do. Was thinkin of keeping these 25lb DB’s with me and using them for some sort of light workout so Im at least doing something.

Anyway, we’ll see…

Why haven’t I been training like this before? Is raising that PT score really what’s motivating me right now? The ONLY thing thats motivating me right now? Or is there something else lingering thats helping me push through some of the insane things Im doing? I want to say it, but I dont know for sure. All I WILL say is: I wont be surprised if I get the call to send me. Inturpret that how you wish.

Ruck Run: After my chest/shoulder workout, I went on a ruck run down to the harley dealership. I packed my army rucksack with 30lbs of weight, walked to my gym, DID the workout, and then ran, or jogged to the dealership down the roads. My bike was ready for pickup, so I paid the place earlier and asked them to leave the bike outside so I can pick it up after Im done at the gym cause they’re gonna be closed. They agreed, and my ruck run was: a go.

21 minutes is how long it took me to get there. I dont know how far it was, I’ll say maybe 2 miles or so. My left ankle was hurting, and my right knee AGAIN was hurting. I pushed through, and made it there without stopping. I only highlight my right knee cause that is the reason I stopped running for 2-3 years back in 03. It got bad to where the slightest sprint would cause major pain, so I stopped cardio completely and I hated lifting so I got FAT.

Not saying Im gonna let that happen, but when I can’t do cardio it really dicourages me. So take it easy these next couple of days? I’ll think of something.

In other news: I finally began OUT PROCCESSING! WOOHOO! 3 more weeks and I am DONE with the military! Although I still have 2 more years where they can call me back in case of a war or something…

I never win.

I remember the VERY first time I said ‘ENOUGH!’ with my weight. It was back in middle school, and I told my mother that I was tired of being fat and chunky and having man boobs at 14/15 years old. (damn…10 years ago.) I said, ‘Im gonna start eating healthy and exercising every day! And Im going to start TONIGHT. So don’t worry about making dinner for me, Im eating a salad…’ Oh boy, I remember I was DETERMINED. She just said ‘okay’ and went along with it. So, I went and got a bowl and took my first step into a healthy lifestyle…

HAHA!, but this is the first step: I Got a handful of lettuse and put it in the bowl. Then I got half of a tomato, and put it in the bowl. Thats about as healthy as it got…cause then I got the crutons and added them. Then the bacon bits, then the cheese, then the big glop of ranch dressing. Oh, and a TALL glass of milk. 16 oz, we had the big plastic cups.
I remember it was DELICIOUS! And figured, ‘I can do this!’ Haha! Okay, I’ve come a LONG way since then, especially in this last year where my knowledge has grown a TON, but still have like 5 tons left to learn…

So I also noticed what happens when things dont go as planned. I have set schedules of things to do nearly every day of the week. Plain, simple, but I stick to it, and I stick to my diet/exercise. If ONE thing goes out of place, or doesn’t happen, the rest of the day, or week is F’ed. It happened today. I usually hang out with the friends on wednesday nights, but they didn’t call me to tell me it was cancelled. So I show up, call, find out its cancelled, and ponder on what to do for the next 2 hours…

So I go to the movies. I see transformers, and got a small popcorn. Yum, that was my ‘dinner’. I could have come home, SHOULD have come home, and studied and eaten a real meal, but at the time, my mind went blank and DESIRES took over. Today was when I finally realized when it happens. When things dont go as scheduled. I go out and do something stupid. This is not the first time, it happened 4 days last week in a ROW. Sucks, and it takes dicipline to get back on track.

But now I know when it happens, and maybe be prepared for future let downs. Maybe have a backup plan?

Just Go.

Well, I just made some beans (and they take FOREVER to cook) and they smelled good, so I want to have about a cup or so before I go to bed. But Im wondering if I should eat very LITTLE, or if its okay to have a small bowl or something. I know starchy carbs are not good anytime close to bed time, but beans are more fiber than anything. Just curious to get some peoples opinion.

Gym Time: Sumo Squats! DAMN! I am finally able to go a lot lower than usual, which makes me wonder if I’ve been doing squats right to begin with…but I definitely could not go as high as normal. Maybe Im targeting different parts of the muscles? Anyway, 200lbs on the sumo squat, and I was shaking! i loved it, no better feeling.

Then over to do machine calf raises with my legs bent, followed by leg extentions…my legs were WOBBLY! I couldn’t help but have a stupid ‘oh yeah’ grin on my face, Im sure people thought I was crazy or something. (if they only knew…) But following the leg extentions, I went to do some BB side to side lundges, and thats when my legs really began to shake to the point where I had to hold on or else I was gonna fall! haha! I was only taking minute long rest in between sets, and getting to the next exercise as quickly as possible. So I was MOVING! That gymboss is still doing me some good long after the Tabata nightmare.

Coming home, I got some sort of joy or happiness overwhelming me. Whats different today?! Absolutely nothing. I dont know why I was so uplifted. Today has been just like any other day. But I didnt lounge or slouch like other days after my workout. I put some beans to cook, started some corn tortilla dough, cooked my after workout food, cleaned dishes, made the tortillas, finished the beans, and Im feeling acomplished right now. Had to blog about it tonight, this does NOT happen often, or at all!

Anyway, lets see what everyone else has been up to today.

happy happy JOY JOY!

Where to begin…where to begin…

I was dragging ALL freakin day. These new stupid uniforms called ABU’s (Airman Battle uniform, gay I know) are so THICK that it holds a sh*t load of heat inside. And these are being used in Iraq and places like so. Ain’t the military smart!? Anyway, no A/C inside the buildings, so I was HOT. I was dragging. Left work, felt like just going to sleep. Jumped online for a bit, and got a second wind!

Second Wind: Was not going to skip the gym, grabbed my stuff, and headed out. Figured I’d do supersets to get some cardio in my lifting. Last week of training before I take my test again. Im gonna take 2 days off to rest before the test day again. But back to lifting. Machine flys, pullups, 5 sets, no rest except for the time it takes me to get from one to the other, and I took a quick water break after the 3rd set. Then slight incline DB press, Plate stack row, 5 sets, same deal. Talk about owie! That one hurt. Felt good though, Im crazy!
Pump: I’ve had this happen before. It feels like sweat is running down my arm, so I go to wipe it, but theres nothing. I kept doing Lat pulldowns, feel the sweat, go to wipe and again nothing! I finally realized I was feeling the blood rushing through one of my veins. Is this what they call the ‘pump’? Felt weird…

Rotator Cuff: Been targeting this more frequently cause again, I have a bad shoulder, and dont want to leave it prone to injury in the future. So I do rotator cuff exercises and MAN do they burn like crazy! Guess it’ll be worth it in the end, right?

Arms/Large Muscles: Still trying to figure out if I should work my arms to get stronger, or stick to compound moves to get overall strength, cause Im not moving up in compund exercises. My arms have not grown in quite some time, and strength is slowly moving up. Debating whether I should replace a chest day with an all out Arm day. Damn this dilema!

Insects: Went to the park to do my sprints, and there were a LOT of people out. To include many insects. As soon as I got out of my van, one mosquito bit my arm, and again, and a- f*ckin -gain. Then, an ant somehow got into my shoe! Bit my little toe while I was running! Little bastard! Then, there was pollan everywhere, and I was really afraid that I was going to swallow one as I was running.

But it was cool, cause when it was all said and done, some guy came up asking me what I was training for. I said, ‘No training, just a lifestyle’. I may have begun to do heavy bag sprints for this PT test coming up, but that doesn’t mean Im going to quit doing it after I get my 95! He said he was getting tired just by lookin at me…haha! Love it!

Make it THE lifestyle

"Congratulations to me,

congratulations to me,

congratulations con-grat-u-la-tions……

Congratulations TO ME!"

5 outta 13 test completed. Almost some what half way there! YEAH!

got a 90 on this test which was the nutrtion section. I REALLY need to go back and read those 2 study books again in the future cause HOLY SH*T was there a lot of info. but I passed, and thats what matters. Now moving into:

-Muscles in Motion

-Alignment, posture, and (something else, can’t remember)

That starts tonight after gym. I give myself TWO pats on the back for this. HA! non for you.

;)