Luvsfitness’s BodyBlog

The posing coach who ridiculed me in front of others refuses to refund my money. I hired her solely for posing, she wanted to trai n me and do my nutrition, I told her I had a trainer, She wanted to know who and I took her to Jay’s website, should her his work with Gymrat, she read and critiqued his credentials and brought others over to look at the website. She agreed to do the my posing. When I went Wed., I got O…ZERo posing but what I did get was public ridicule. She wanted to see my diet, I did not show her, told her the breakdown and the calories, she laid her head on the table, got others involved, said out loud in an open forum waht I was doing, one girl said well, she is taking in enough protien. She made me weight and do my body fat…I was there for posing, not that stuff. She told me I would never make it on stage, that it was hard work, that I should be doing this and that, that I had too much body fat and that her name would be associated with me if she was my posing coach and she did not want that representation.  She instead wanted to do my nutrition, I told her no, I had that covered. She said well, let me see how you train, what my INTENSITY was like so we scheduled for next Wed.

So, I came home, humiliated….and then got a little angry. I HAVE A TRAINER, I do not NEED a personal trainer, I NEEDED a posing coach which is what she agree to do! She is from the land of USETA, she useta compete, she useta have a great body before "excuse number 56", blah, blah, blah.

Public ridicule and humiliation serve no useful purpose. Accountability  does. Motivation is fear based, out of feaar of failure we are motivated to work harder, study for a test, etc. It has its place and serves a purpose.
To inspire someone means that you admire them and aspire to imitate. Spiritually it is a much better deal. Jay inspires me. Gymrat inspires me.  A good coach should inspire someone.

That is why I love training women. I seek to inspire them to be their own personal best, not ridicule them and make a public example of what  failure looks like. NOT tell them they will never succeed at their goal. Not tell them what I useta could do. I seek to show them their potential and help them achieve….

Life sucks right now….but this too shall pass. I am ashamed to even go to they gym. She has told so many people about my goals and made such ridicule of them I feel they all are laughing at me and my body….

I go anyway…hang my head and work hard…..what else can I do!

Went to my posing coach…she comes highly recommended. She did my BF analyais and looked at me and was nice but honest…I have only 7 pounds more muscle than the average woman that walks into the gym. I need to drop 15% body fat…..if I keep the muscle mass I have  (HA HA) and get down to a competitive body fat….well, the end result is I need to gain muscle before I try to compete. She would not coach me with posing because I would be a product of her input and I do not have what it takes to get on stage…..I got the feeling that if I say she helped me with this that I would have to represent and do it well…….
I do not want to be average….
So, refocus….gain some lean mass and compete next year!!!
ALL these years of training and only 7 more pounds of muscle than the average woman….DIET  DIET   DIET!!
Dang it!

Did not sleep but about 3 hours last night. When I got home from work I took a nap (3 hours); I was so tired this am at 445….did my HITT and once again, saw the black and white spots, felt light-headed, but…I said to myself…If I wanna be my own personal best, I have to push beyond all this!!! If I am getting on stage, I have to persevere. Talk about going past the pain….this is a whole new kinda limit pushing. Mind over matter!!!

Yep…I "got er done".

Off to work, then posing at 5:00p, feed the machine at 6:00p, then lift weights, todays is chest, shoulders, abds!!!

I almost passed out twice….:o(  LOL  I was pushing way hard!!

I am so nauseated….did quads, hams, shoulders and abds tonight…I was so dang exhausted after legs that I had to sit to do my lateral raises….wanted to cry…then abds….I worked them so hard I started cramping.

I sure hope I can get this fat of by Oct. I was stressing about it and decided, what the heck, I will do a show in Nov. if I can not represent Jay and myself well.

My diet is 100% on. Getting the meals on time is a challenge at work, today, I had to eat behind my patient’s curtain and he busted me…asked if it was lunch time..LMAO. HITT in the am and then posing practice and workout tomorrow evening.

I wonder what the heck I am doing this for sometimes…then I just look around at society and know I want to take my body to the  next level and see what my own personal best is….

100 % on diet and water….but irritable today and low energy (carb depletion after eating a million carbs a sitting i.e  1/2 gallon ice cream, 1/4 of a creme filled three layered cake, a monster cookie and cream puff)….LOL ..feel light headed…today was my no training day…I train Tues. thru Sunday….tomorrow…quads, hams, shoulders and abds.

I love this diet Jay designed for me..he really does focus on individual preferences and how your body responds to feeds…he is teaching me a great deal. For years I would drink Myoplex and not eat a real meal but maybe once a day…then be so hungry after a week that I would eat a whole can of cashews or almonds (not to meantiono cheesecake with hot fudge 2 slices   at least   sometimes 3…..so to eat real food again has been awesome…tks to his guidance the first go round I have learned to enjoy eating food again.

Came home and napped…then worked on my food for tomorrow…planning, planning, planning is the key.

It is funny, everyone thinks they are a expert when it comes to leaning out and maintaining muscle for a comp. It is interesting how people revert to "used to"…I refer to them as all the folks from USTA, USA. I really do not give a care about what you did in USTAville….let your physique speak to what you are doing now…..I love the excuses as well… I just say…hold on a sec.,  let me get my laser pointer and I will point to the 101 excuse board that I have for I have heard EVERY excuse  for not being fit.

ANOTHER interesting phenomena is the "cost" attitude. I reply…we all decide where we place our investments based on personal value. Some people put a lot of money into clothes, jewelry, cars, eating out, partying, etc., I choose to invest in my health….call me CRAZY!!! Billions of dollars a year are spent on fad diets that FAIL…like this HGC thing…talk about costly…when that money could be invested with someone who knows the game like JAY and the results are amazing.

OMG…what am I thinking…that would require effort, dedication, discipline, motivation, patience, perseverance and NOT instant gratification…

I must really be carb depleted/spacey!!!  LOL

I was able to keep my heart rate between 99 and 114 for 45 mins of my cardio today and I burnt 60% of the calories from fat A couple of time it got up to 120…but I quickly brought it back down. And….I was able to stretch and hold for 15 secs on my stretches. A few of the exercises I held for 30 secs for all 10 sets……yippee…but wow..I am so tired.

WOW…my weight is down from 145.5 to 139.5 in one week…talk about a lot of water weight….I only lost one and one half pounds of fat (which is right on target)…I was up to 31 pounds of body fat…today I am 29 1/2 pounds of fat. I have to get at least 11 more pounds of pure fat off and preserve my lean muscle….what a challenge that is.

Back…shoulders…wood choppers…my shoulders are really alive!! That workout ws really challenging as well….whew..I am tired….in a great way!
I just discovered a great tasting post weight training meal…protein pancake with just protein powder, water and vanilla flavoring, power peannt butter (all natural) and fresh strawberries…I have died and gone to heaven….I LOVE PEANUT BUTTER….for one tbsp it has 10 fat (all from flax), 12 protein and 6 carbs….ahhhhhhh…

I am in the worst mood I have been in for over a year….I wanna "bitch slap" somebody  ..LOL. Whew…I feel better!!!! I missed a meal this morning so that got me going…had to compensate for that all because I talked with a posing coach (unplanned). Then found out I have no insurance due to my FREAKING recruiter….I am so not happy with her and her snotty attitude.

Oh, well….on the great side….diet is going well although I am light headed this evening…not sure why…could it be I MISSED my morning FEED!!!!!and then had to play make-up!!!!

Off to train….yesterdays workout was challenging  {milding put} (yea!)  Single legged squats off a bench….help me lord…I feel like I am such a WUS right now…. dead lifts put me in the dirt but at least I can do them….up to 100 pounds with good form. I could not do 15 one-legged off the bench squats with 5 lbd dumb bells…:o(

Love the challenge and cannot wait to see how much stronger/tighter I get… all tks to JAY!!!!