Blog Entry
the good news:
i know what’s wrong with me after the tests the doctor ran:
- massive food allergies
- too much of something in the thyroid which is making it over all slow
the okay news:
i get a more comprehensive thyroid panel on thursday to determine about synthroid
the bad news:
- that there is something wrong with me
- that i don’t have a full time job and i am dependant on my parents insurance, and i’m about to turn 23… i am so desperate for a full time job
the annoyance:
i am always, always, always feeling like money is this huge pressure on my shoulders. it’s like having a two ton gorilla sitting on my back at all times. i want so desperately to have a full time job, but i feel like no one will hire me… i think it’s because what i want to do isn’t something that requires a big education; i just want to work in sales or management… but i’ve got a degree in english/art history….
i have this dream of selling something i am really passionate about… like i love selling protein right now, and i used to love selling running shoes.. and i would love to do something like work for say, muscletech, or someone, and go to different expos/retail locations, and promote the product. or any company. nike. mizuno. isatori. columbia. patagonia. northface. namaste allergen free bakery. whoever… being a sales rep is my dream job…
i’m not attached to anyone or anything, and i guess in that sense i’m a lot not like a lion. i know it sounds selfish but the one thing i’ve learned from all of this is that the most important person to look out for and care about is yourself, and so i feel like being a rep would be ideal. i love to travel. i love to sell. i have my family here, but i don’t have any "new" family (something that i’ve created) and as terrible as it sounds i don’t really plan on it. maybe someday i’ll marry, but i am not a kids person. i like cats, though. and dogs. i could do a dog, but if i travelled a lot, a cat would be better.
anyways, ramble, ramble. i want a place of my own and a salary of my own and a chance to strive out on my own like a 23 year old should have… and am i trying, yes… but i feel like nothing is really pulling through for me. everyone i call back doesn’t call me back… it’s like they see "english degree" and it’s like "well, she’s useless."
i think one thing that hurt was when a customer at GNC got mad at me for doing 2 returns before him and told me i was too slow and dumb to get a "real job." i know it shoudln’t matter what some random dude said, but it did. it stung, because it was what i was thinkging, and then it was like well, others perceive me as this, too?
sorry to put all my worries out on the internet, but i don’t feel like i’ve said anything bad or derogatory… it’s more a chance to just write out, okay, this is what is bothering me right now… then maybe i can look at it and go okay, and now i see where to go. or maybe someone will materialize and say "aha! you are perfect for this job opening i have." who knows. it doesn’t hurt to be open about what’s in your heart as long as you’re honest about it, i guess.
March 3, 2008 at 11:38 am
I bought from you at GNC and I didn’t think you were slow or stupid. Finding a full time job is one of the more difficult tasks in life. You get a lot of rejection before you even get a hint of possibility. Just keep at it, don’t give up. It will happen on it’s own time and not on your schedule. Patience is the name of the game. Opportunity will come when you least expect it. The only way to keep opportunity away is to have a defeatist attitude. Keep strong~!
July 21, 2008 at 3:52 am
My wife used to work at a corporate GNC, ya know it wasn’t owned by a certain person, just by the company. Anyways, they put so much pressure on workers there and stuff, it’s outrageous. who cares what someone else says? It’s just one person anyways. Plus! If you have a degree in English, wouldn’t writing health and supplement review articles be a neat job for you for such a Magazine as Women’s Health, or even Men’s Health???