A change in plans.
So, after doing the mentality self-evaluation, I realized that I needed more work and to put in more effort and focus on this training if I really wanted to be ready in time for my show. So, I backed out fo the show. What I used to see as a failure on my part has actually given way for me to accept that when it came down to it, I wasn’t as dedicated and working as hard as I should have been. I wasn’t sacrificing anything, and to gain anything you must be willing to lose something.
I’m not giving up though. This is something I really want to do and think I could be very good at once I do what’s necessary to be serious about this. So, instead of just giving up, I’m just changing my plans. Instead of the September show, I’m shooting for the OCB Battle of the Swords in November. The plus side to this is that they have a 101 division which I really think I could use considering I’ve never been in a figure competition before. Before, I was arrogant enough to believe that I didn’t need to start at the bottom and work my way up, and since have discovered that there is no shame in beginning at the beginners level– that’s what it’s there for.
It wasn’t all training. I probably could have pulled it together in time if it weren’t the money factor. Between supplements, posing suits, competition costs, and all of the acompanyments, it just wasn’t plausible for me to be able to pay for everything. I have since told my parents of my interest, and though they support my want to do this, I don’t think they believe I will stick with it, and therefore I refuse to ask for their help with the monetary situation I am currently facing. Lucky for me I have a job at school and quite a big lump some of money coming in from a loan that I can stash some away for November. So, all is well. Another plus i sthat my rugby season is beginning again in a few days, and I can supercharge my cardio routine with rugby conditioning. Cardio is the devil, and I am really determined to tame that beast this time around.
I’m feeling a lot more secure in my choice to postpone the show. Before I think I would have beat myself up too much for backing out of the september show, but in all honesty, that was just NOT meant to be, I guess.
So. Here we go again…
