Lady McMike’s BodyBlog

so i just got home from my canoeing trip with one of my classes for school. lol. yea canoeing for school and its a 3 credit class!!! I love it. Anwyays, canoeing is a great chest and sholder workout. Esp going up stream through the rapids. so if i ever want to blast my pecs again i know exactly what to do. And its relativly fun, and a change of pace from the gym which i see way to often (not that im complaining, the gym i my home more than my real home). but now im going to take a nap, im pooped. lol

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/fastfood.htm#2

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/fastfood.htm#2

damn, another rough and rough day. Currently cant feel my back, well ok i feel a stabbing pain in the middle of the numbness. lol. yea it definatly didnt hurt while i was pullin out set after set and increasing weight. but after a few hr nap i felt like i got run over by a mac truck. I feel as though the body should have a signal that goes off, like a bell of a light that says "umm hi, this is going to hurt later you should stop now so you can move later". i think i would benefit from this feature, lol. I seem to be kicking my ass more than usually lately. Im just not feeling good about myself bc school and work are straining my systematic ways and eating and its just pissing me off. i have ocd and it really flusters me. ok, im off to eat before doing endless homework and then maybe some sleep eventually. lol.

how do you know that you gave it your all and that you couldnt possible try any harder?

the answer: when you stop to rest after a set you look up real fast into the mirror and you go black, and when you get your vision back and your about ready to vomit you begin to cry, tears coming down your face you look into the mirror again and just mutter 2 words "you bitch"… yea you say it to yourself. Seriously it was the most intense workout ive ever put myself through. I dont cry im not a crier at all, i grit my teeth and i continue. but now i know what its like to really push it.

well school started and im still working my summer schedule at work and im worling out and well i sleep sometimes too. Its sad really. one week in and im spent. i drove hime from work today and i was sleeping the whle way. i was up til 130 doing course work and then got up 5hrs later… ugh its just a pain in the ass.

well i go back to school tomorrow. ive been away from school for almost a year due to military training and well lose of interst, haha. Never could find a major i really enjoyed much. So after month of hardcore nagging i decided to go back to school. Thankfully the person naggin me also made me aware of something i probably could stick with… Phys. Ed. im good with kids and well i like anything physical. So… the point of my story is this.. my workout schedule.. which was adjusted for work recently is not as easily adjusted for work and school. i go to school from 8-1 every other day and then 10-12 the other days and like 8-4 on mondays… yay for BIO labs, haha not. and then work after school and the gym is only open for so many hrs a day, and i can only fanangle things sooo much ya know. and im rambling but im just trying to figure it out and the only way it works is if i never sleep just about, and that will not work for me. Oh no! i require a huge time slot for sleep each day. So it should be interesting trying to figure something out. in the mean time im riding my bike (which i havent done since i was a small girl) becuase the gym closed at 2 for the holiday. ugh! talk about inconvient. lol… and on and on i ramble… and now im done.

well im one of those who writes out my workout routine the night before. its a little nerdy but i have a terrible memory and so i have to write everything down so i know what to do. but sometimes i go through what i wrote and as im sweating my ass off and ready to cry b/c im in so much burning pain, i honestly ask who flippin wrote this damn routine up and were they tryng to kill me. seriously sometimes i think im on crack, bc i pick some of the most un fun shit ever, and i ask myself wtf man? lol. I think maybe sometimes i forget im still just a human. lol. I just brought this up becuase a.) today was one of those days. pick all the hard ham exercises and i almost yelled outloud at myself for beign so mean. lol… and b.) just wondering if anyone else does it or if im the only one being an ******* toward myself and torturing myself… hahah. well today was a long day at the gym and then work and tomorrow is the start of a 20 hr weekend so im off to bed so i can wake up and workout. haha.

so the other day i wake up, do the same routine as always and head to the gym, and as i pull intot he parking lot im terrified to see absolutly no cars… what the hell i think to myself as i drive up to the door to see a note.. :gym closed today due to power putages:… i drive away throwing a tantrum like im about 5 years old. it was soo rediculous. and as i drove away i was like wll ok, now what? it was sooo lost it was pathetic. actually the more pathetic part was that they actually gave me a personal call at my house to tell me the gym was up and running again later in the day. I go so much they felt obligated to let me know i could come home, haha. i consider the gym home sometimes…. but yea. it was such a crappy start to a day. i came home and sat around doing nothing, i tried to think if something, and when i couldnt. i went back to bed for 4 hrs, haha. Never ever take away the gym from me, im like a lost puppy without it..haha.. i got to go today, but funny thing was i woke up and immediatly called to make sure. I pray that never happens again!!

so lately ive been wondering and thinking about one question.. that being… why do i work so damn hard, why do i continue to body build, why am i obsessed with my diet, why do i spend so much time at the gym, why am i picky when it comes to picking out meat, why is pain always register as a gain in my mind…. and just when ive spent three days trying to figure it out, becuase God knows i will never have the balls to compete (so what am i training for), and i was about to give up thinking and just continue to go with the crazy theory, i realized something. I look at myself in the mirrors at the gym and the mirrors at my house more often than anyone i know. i mean i walk in to pee and i check my abs, like a little boy checks his balls, ya know b/c they might run away, haha. I’m obsessed with the way i look. I build so that when i do look in the mirrors that surround me in the im not repulsed. The second part is in the mirrors too, the more and longer i look the more i see wrong, or the areas that "need improvement". and thats what makes me come back everyday, thats what keeps me there all day. i can never be good enough, yet i can always manage a little smile when i see my sexy ass walk by. haha yea. im confident! but i guess sometimes i just feel like im just a nut because there is not end to my means, no real goal. hence : the whole damn sexy forever goal. so now that i blah blah blahed the hell out of this i can be done now. I just sometimes have a breif second where i say, why the **** am i doing this… still, i mean i cant even walk.