LFG27’s BodyBlog

So my evening didn’t go as planned. Nevertheless I still made a trip to the gym. I just joined one of those 24 fitness places. There are mostly machine weights and some free weights. The trick now is to find ways to manipulate what machinery and cables they have to bring my intensity to where I want it to be. I used the Smith machine to do vertical leg presses and I drew a few inquisitively raised eyebrows when I used the assisted pull up machine to do a reverse step up move. My workouts are always different and pretty inventive so I know I will find my groove before too long.

Didn’t get my cardio in so I’m going to try and get to sleep and rise early in the morning for fasted cardio. Night all:)

This past week was big. I celebrated my birthday on Oct. 2nd. Oct 3rd marked one full month since I lost a baby. I had my first big leg day this week since I had found out I was pregnant and ultimately lost the child.

To say the least this past year has been full of stumbling blocks and challenges for me inside the gym and out. I can’t tell you how much I want to get into the gym and squat or leg press the big weights I was lifting this time last year. I have a picture of me in contest shape on my refrigerator and I long for the roundness my delts have in that picture and the eight pack that many envied. I know I have valid excuses as to why I am not at the same level of fitness now that I was last year but what I don’t have is valid excuses as to why I can’t get back into show shape. This evening is my second big leg day on my road back to what truly makes me feel complete…bodybuilding.

I am an open book. I blog in many places and bodybuilding.com being one of them. Admittedly, I don’t blog here as much as I should but I find myself questioning how far I should take my blogging here. This is of course a site that focuses on the quest for building physiques that drop jaws but does that include sharing the aspects of our lives that challenge our hearts and spirits as well? I don’t know about other brothers and sisters in iron but how my heart feels definitely affects how my training and diet progresses. I’ve never been afraid to tell others about my life the good and the bad. I think there is strength to be found in seeing someone survive life no matter what it hands us. That as human beings we exist (I fully believe) to help lift others from the lowest parts of their lives, to help one another find the peace and happiness we are all meant to have. This can be done by encouraging each other in the gym and out in the world we live.

So I have decided that my bb.com blog will encompass all aspects of my journey to a stronger body including the internal aspects that drive me forward. To all I wish a blessed evening and a kick ass workout tomorrow. All my love LFG

I’ve faced an adversity recently that has affected every part of me. My workouts have been intense as a way to vent my emotions but my diet has become irrelevant as all my mental strength has gone to just leveling myself after the bad news I received. Someone who is very important to me has, after receiving chemotherapy to treat a rare cancer, is stopping treatment. This person is my niece who is only 24 years of age. My niece and I shared a room growing up and became each others rock and carried each other through some very painful times. Now I face a world that may be without her.

I realize that life is out of our control sometimes and there is purpose behind everything. I will remain strong in the gym and have faith in Gods plan

I faced another fork in the road and I chose a path that I believe with bring me to my purpose in this life. I have decided to go back to school. My degree in Human Services with a concentration in counseling is the way I’ve been looking for to give back to those in need. I grew up in a foster home and have saw personally how there are so many kids abandoned to the system that have no one to sympathize with them and no one to talk to. I want to be that person that they can relate to, that someone who has been there and can really say its going to be o.k.

How does this relate to my training? Well, I am a single mom and I have no choice but to work two jobs. I will still be working two jobs when classes start. I will try and get to the gym at least three days per week but right now I am going 6-7 days. I’m not worried about gaining weight because when I’m extremely busy I tend to lose weight. I just don’t want to lose my muscle. This step foward in my life may bring a step backward in the gym but I know that the iron in the gym will not leave me just because I’m looking to better other areas in my life….he will be waiting there like an old friend when I am able to go foward full force again.

I am thankful because life is awesome in this way:

Everytime you think every door is locked, someone, somewhere opens a door and invites you in. Sometimes you have to ask, but heaven never ever leaves you alone.

When the night is darkest you can be certain the sun will rise again. It is a certain fact. The same is true in the hardest parts of life. You will someday look back and be thankful for the strength you learned and gained when you felt the darkness would never leave.

That no matter what destiny has placed before us, ultimately we have the power over our own existence. Despite of our hardships, or our fortunes we are who we want to be. We make that decision, none other.

I’ve been off of Bodyspace for a while. I’ve still been hitting the gym but got caught up in a whirlwind of events that left me with little spare time for the internet. One event being someone dear to me nearly ending his own life. It seems we all forget how precious those close to us are at one second or another. We get wrapped up in ourselves, in our jobs, and even our gym time. I knew he was struggling but didn’t see his walls caving in on him until it was almost too late. I return to Bodyspace with a newer understanding, a renewed strength and purpose. To better myself so that I may be a pillar for others. I wrote this poem the week after my friend went into the hospital.

Time

Remember what matters most

Time is simply the measurement of moments

in a fragment of our eternity

It passes without permission

and didn’t we

look at the clock and wonder how

quickly seconds pass

the hands gone round

and we’ve still never found

in all our lives just what we are looking for

*****************************************

Don’t let anymore time pass without realizing your strength and your dreams because each second that passes is one that will never return.

Always be kinder than necessary for you do not know what obstacles others face.

Few of you close to me know that I have Celiac disease. A disease is defined as: pathological condition of a part, organ, or system of an organism resulting from various causes, such as infection, genetic defect, or environmental stress, and characterized by an identifiable group of signs or symptoms. My disease is genetic and totally un"spreadable". I have started saying that I have Celiac disorder in order to prevent the "OMG" wide eyed and scared look people give me when I say I have a disease. I vowed when I found out 2 years ago that I had this condition that I would help spread the word on what doctors have thought for so long was a rare condition. In reality it isn’t as rare as originally thought. Celiac disease is quite often misdiagnosed as doctors only receive about 20 minutes instuction on this condition in all their years of med school. It took about 6 months of agony before I finally INSISTED on a blood screening for Celiac Sprue simply because I knew my father had it and knew there was a slim (10%) but real possibility I could have inheirited it. Sure enough, blood tests came back overwhelmingly positive. What is Celiac disease? It is a auto-immune disorder. My body reacts to a protein found in wheat as if it were an enemy. When wheat is ingested, my immune system attacks my intestinal lining in an attempt to destroy what it perceives as a very real threat. In doing so I destroy my own tissues which leads to malabsorbtion. Untreated Celiac patients eat but starve to death due to malabsorbtion. Common symptoms of Celiac disease are: Weight loss due to malabsorbtion-I was actually a weight gainer before diagnosis. I felt so hungry all the time because I wasn’t getting proper nutrition that I ate and ate and never felt satisfied. Bloating and abdominal distention-One of the ONLY symptoms I exhibit. Children with growth retardation Patients with recurrent mouth sores-I had these only if I had consumed large amounts of wheat. Changes in bowel habits Skin rashes-dermatitis herpetiformis Extreme fatigue The ONLY symptoms I showed on a regular basis was abdominal swelling and fatigue which put me out of the symptom range that doctors normally look for in diagnosing Celiac. The only treatment available for Celiac disease is a lifelong adherance to a wheat/gluten free diet. I urge anyone who has been diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome, acid reflux, even depression (untreated Celiac has been linked to depression and neurological damage) to request testing for Celiac. You may be met with resistance as I was, but it is a simple blood test and YOU are in control of your health. If anyone has any questions, don’t hesitate to contact me! Best wishes for health and happiness:)

I went to an open audition Sunday for JOICO haircare. I didn’t accept the job for the fact that they wanted to chop my long hair, and not only is it long but its healthy. But that isn’t what this blog is about. Its about the other girls that were there. All extremely thin, I felt like a muscular sore thumb sitting there amongst girls that look as if they have survived on carrots for the whole year. Not that thin is bad if it is the persons natural build. My natural build is muscular, that is the genetic pool I swim in. Nevertheless, I had to draw in a deep breath and disengage the panic button. Inside I was going through the mental banter that all women do. "hmm..does her butt look better than mine. Geez, shes tall and her legs definitely are longer than mine, blah, blah, blah."

I strive to maintain a balance between the quest for external beauty and internal beauty. Realizing that it isn’t really what I have outside that radiates, its kindness and compassion that lends a special glow to someone. I always try to nurture that glow above all else. Yet, I am human and fallable. I try and remind myself on a daily basis what life is about. What my life is about. My children and teaching them what is important, my personal spiritual growth and helping others find peace with their bodies as a trainer. Being a friend, a listener, a shoulder to lean on. And yes, that shoulder carries more physical strength than the average female. That is different, unique, and beautiful in its own way. We all have beauty and strength in our own wonderful ways. Let not the size of our hips take precedence over the size of our hearts, now that is beautiful.

You might see from my newest shot a softer physique. I have decided to take my look down a few notches for modeling purposes. I have also decided not to compete. I’ve been called a "sell out" by a few of my bodybuilding buds here in town, but this decision was made not only for myself but my children. Modeling is helping to pay the bills, unfortunately competing not only doesn’t bring home the chicken breast, it takes money to compete. It is tricky I’m finding to lose some of that hard earned muscle and not greive its passing. It was hard to build. And its also hard to keep everything firm as my body makes the transistion.

As I have always said, chase your dreams and never let anyone tell you they are beyond your reach. That is what I’m doing. god bless!