Kymn’s BodyBlog

Getting back to a more balanced life instead of just sleeping, drinking and eating working out, I’m also getting back into what I used to do before body building and that’s a relaxing meditation or review of my day at night before I go to bed.  

I not only want a better body but I want a better mind and just want to be a better person all around.

So the idea of the daily review that I learned through esoteric spiritual studies is that you sit quietly and go through your day in an attempt to review your behavior and how you might have been able to change a situation.  Not what someone else did, or how can I change them, but in MY role of the dance, what could I have done differently to make the situation better or how can "I" change.  This isn’t to judge myself either but an attempt at being an accepting/loving observer of the moment in review.

My mind was drawn to lunchtime at Subway.  There were 2 girls ahead of me.  Very overweight, both getting footlongs, the first girl getting ranch dressing and the second literally saying "smother it in mayo".   SMOTHER it in mayo. 

Well, I guess since I eat better now and I just get a 6" with no cheese or dressing when I go, I must feel somewhat superior to those that don’t eat what I do.  If they don’t eat the same then there’s plenty of good room for my ego to judge and feel justified in doing so. I’m constantly looking at "bodies" and comparing.  Is that all there is to someone?

In my review I could see that it didn’t do me (or them) any good to have my judgements about them for not living a healthier life.  The best thing I can do for everyone is just to accept them where they are and "allow"  them to live the life they choose to live.  I think it’s the only way I can allow myself the same so that I can be at peace as well.

One thing I can do though if I really want to create change and that is to be the example AND the potential and that’s what I intend to do.

Kymn~

I haven’t done any cardio in over a month and have missed doing it.  I just don’t feel healthy if I’m not exercising my heart as well as the rest of me.   So now that I feel like I’m getting in enough good calories I got on our eliptical this morning.  Felt good to get on it.  Drank 10gr of protein, 4 green tea extracts to wake me up and then drank Xtend during.   I did a 20 minute HIIT and then a 5 min cool down.  It was pretty good.  I was dying by the end. LOL!  That’s what it’s supposed to do though right?   My endurance has certainly gone down and I could feel the soreness in my legs that I hadn’t felt in a while so it’s good that I get back doing it again 2 to 3 times a week.   I’m glad we have the eliptical here at the house.  Saves a lot of drive time and I don’t have to starve on the way to the gym. 

Weighed in at 146.6  better than 144 at least!  I think I’m getting enough food finally.

I’m still trying to eat as much as I can.  Average 2100 - 2300.  It’s hard for me to eat much more than that.  Hard to believe but true.  I just want to stay as clean as possible.  I’ve been reading a lot about how many women have regretted bulking up.  I’ve been concerned about it myself and have decided that I’m not going to gain much more than I am now.  Maybe 5-7 pounds at the most.  Just enough to keep giving my body enough to put some muscle on my legs.  I have muscle but I really feel like I want a bit more before getting rid of the rest of fat.  At my height I have a concern of being too skinny.   So for now that’s the plan.  I’m glad the extra fat doesn’t bother me, maybe it’s easier since we will be moving into fall soon.    I do miss the cardio.  I’m going to start that back up next week.  At least twice a week and see how it goes. For me it’s about being healthy too and exercising my heart as well.  I haven’t been able to lately because I was losing too much but I think I have my calories under control now.  Trial and error right? : ) 

Who would have guessed that me at 43 would have such a high metabolism!  I’m blown away!  I’ve been weight training seriously for the last couple of months.  I was doing it before but kicked it up a notch.  At 145 I didn’t want to lose any more because of my height and have been wanting to gain more muscle, when I lost another pound I decided to start tracking my calories, bought a food scale and set up an account on fitday.com

I started out at 1900 calories.  I figured that would be good and I ate really well at 1900.   I was down another pound the next day so I upped to 2100 calories.  Still losing at 2300!  Not by much but it’s not gain!  I’m blown away that I’m going to have to eat so much!  AND this is with NO cardio!  I can’t believe it!  I stopped doing cardio when I got down to 145 because I don’t want to be a bean pole!  I look fine right now but I need a ton more muscle on my legs so I’m trying to build (and lose the fat).   

Yeah it’s kind of exciting but at the same time that’s a ton of food for me when I’m trying to eat clean!   I talked to the trainers and they were all very encouraging.  One even suggested that I up my protein.   Right now I try to stick with 20/40/40 but I always go over on protein a bit.  Over 200.  Sometimes 212, 220.    I thought that was a lot!  I’ve read to take in 1 1/2 times your weight, double your weight and just 1gr per pound.  It’s a bit confusing.  I really don’t care if I do more.  I can do more but I’m going to do research on the kidneys and liver to see how much protein is safe to take etc.  I want to be healthy and not bombarding my body.

So I bought some trail mix to eat and if the research goes well I’ll be upping my protein to around 300 grams.   I have to find high caloric foods that isn’t junk food and EAT!  I’m going to try and hit around 25-2700 calories.  If I gain too quick I’ll just take it down a notch or start my cardio back.  I know I don’t HAVE to do cardio but I do feel better when I do cardio and my heart gets exercise at least twice a week.

So if anyone has any suggestions or foods that are high in calories but good for you.  I really don’t want to start eating a ton of fat.  That kind of scares me too.

It’s really kind of cool experimenting in this way.  I feel like I’m building a machine! Bwahaha! Okay I’ll quit before I embarrass myself.  Heh.

Kymn~