Kymn’s BodyBlog

I almost feel like a failure…  I do it, I feel shallow, don’t do it, I feel like something is wrong with me and I’m just over reacting.   

So I’ve been working hard on my legs these last couple of weeks really pushing the weights and wanted to get some good pictures of my legs and booty.  I have some swim bottoms that are okay but I really wanted more like a string bikini type because my old ones from "fat me" made my butt look big in the back now cuz they don’t fit me any more.  I don’t own a string bikini.  Haven’t  looked good enough to be seen in one.  So anyway, I’m at Wal-mart and I see some cute panties.  I don’t do thongs,  god knows my husband wishes I liked them, lol but I can’t stand the things.  I’ve TRIED to like them, like I’ve TRIED to like tuna but I just don’t.   I can’t stand feeling like I have a wedgie all day… I don’t know how girls do it.  So that’s kind of always made me feel a little less sexy but not so much… I’m okay with it.  So I find some undies at Wal-mart that have a string around the sides and are full butt coverage.  Perfect.  At least I’ve given up the Granny panties okay??  Hubby is thankful for that… (poor guy)   So I buy them and get to thinking when I get home that maybe I could use them to take my legs/hams/booty pics in for my progress pics.  Fine, I take the pictures. I find some that are good and I post them.  These really aren’t nasty panties or anything, just had some peace signs on the front and stripes on the back.  No lace or peek-a-boos. (dear god!) Just freakin’ panties..  Like a swim suit but smaller.  Okay?

I get them up and feel really nervous about it.  I only put them in my progress section because I don’t want "comments" about them.  Just want the progress pics.  Still didn’t feel good about it.   I felt/feel nasty and shallow.   I want to have a nice body and show off a nice body and be proud of it but I just can’t do the PANTY PIC. LOL!   TONS of women/girls on here do it.  FAR more than I would ever think about doing it and that’s fine, they don’t have "issues" with it obviously.   I want to be respectful with my transformation and I guess I just don’t feel respectful.  I showed them to my husband.  He didn’t mind but "I" minded so I took them down today.  I even took down the picture of me in my swimsuit I bought at the beginning of summer.  Didn’t feel good about that one either because I was trying to look all "sexy".   I guess with transformations,  there is a lot to deal with and think about.  

So what’s up with all that?? Maybe I’m just getting used to being in new skin so to speak…. I just don’t like feeling SHALLOW.  :::hmph::::!

I don’t know what it’s like where you live but it’s a blazing 105 here in T-Town Oklahoma!  I went to water my gasping flowers (should have done it this morning) and drug 300 ft of hose down the end of the driveway and then back again!  Flies biting, sweat pouring off me burning my eyes! LOL! Oh man it’s hot!!  I left the hose hung around tree in the shade to give the birds some water and then I came in the house to a blanket of cold fresh air!  Whew! Does that feel good.  So many things that are easy to take for granted.  Blessings everywhere…