Kritta_G’s BodyBlog

Well I’m now at 160 lb. after the holidays are all said and done. I have a new goal to get down to 130 lb. by March 25th 09. I’m just a little discouraged though since no one i know, but myself really gives a crap if I reach my goal or not… My husband’s schedule has changed also to night shift so now I don’t get my gym time like i was right after I had my second son. I’m just upset cuz that gym gets me going and it’s hard to at the house with the kids bugging me the whole time. I don’t know……… I do know that I have 3 months to lose 30 lb. Think I can? lol Well the question isn’t if I can, I guess really it is will I?

I know I should just do it for me huh? Cuz it will make ME happy. Not them.

I am determined to have my life back! I don’t care if I’m doing it alone! I don’t care if people think I’m crazy! They can judge me, they can try and tear me down. But I’m going to have what I want. Because I’m going to grab ahold of it and tear it apart!
I used to be anorexic. So I’ve always felt like I’ve had this battle with food. One day I’d love it too much. The next day it would scare the hell out of me like it had some control over me. So I wouldn’t even touch it. To this day I’ll never really understand it. I mean it’s just food. You need it to stay alive. It’s not like I haven’t eaten that food before, but for some reason it’s so hard to not just eat it over and over again if it tastes good. Or it can be my best friend when I’m sad. It’s tasty goodness just numbs the thoughts of lonliness and dispare. Like some kind of sick transe it has over me. Like when I moved 4 months ago. I was sad and stopped working out since I had to leave my equipment behind. I was depressed because I missed my family. So food was my only friend. I was doing so good back at home. On my way to become a fitness trainer. But then I had no money saved up for it and now I’m not forced to work at a job I so desperately want to get out of. So my motivation was gone. Even though it really wasn’t because I always felt so good knowing one day I could help others and get paid to be at a gym all day. It would be a dream for me being around all that positive stuff. Now I’m 15 lb. heavier and even at home hadn’t hit my goal yet of 130 lb. of lean and sexy muscle. It really got me back tracked, but I’m still on my way! I’ve been eating better and learning a lot of new stuff with this site. I absolutely love it!!! I now have a stability ball and two 8 lb. dumbbells. It’s a good start. I’m back to working out again. I would love to get to the gym, but this will do for now as it did before. I even quit smoking just recently! My chest doesn’t hurt anymore and my asthma has improved. I’ll admit to still getting those cravings, but I’ve had quite a few suggestions from some nice people on this site and I’ll be fine. I’m tough.

I’m on my way and no one can stop me! Just me… I’m not gonna let that happen ever again! Peace and love to everyone. Stay hardcore all the way and we’ll all make it! Hopefully one day we’ll take over the population. And everyone else will feel this great too!