In the mind of a FREEK

I duno how to start this… I’m just pissed/frustrated/angry at the world n everything..

So.. Today I’ve decided to take a 1week-1month break from bodybuilding.. My wrist and forearm seems like it’s getting worse every workout… There’s a deep pressure wrenching in my forearm and my wrist feels like its gunna rip even with light weights like 35lbs… So I need to stop cus I’m gunna end up doing more harm than good.. It’s the hardest choice to give up something u love.. It’s so damn frustrating I cant even explain the anger inside me.. If ur randomly reading this and hm iono maybe think it’s ‘funny’ or ‘nothing to be so mad about’, then obviously you dont know what it’s like to have a passion for something, and then suddenly u have to stop cus of some reason even tho u wanna keep going. Even 1 day for me is like a week, so I dont know what 1 month is gunna feel like. And who knows maybe it has to be longer than a month… Plus I need to keep in shape especially for my personal training in the future.. How can this happen now??

However, it sucks cus right now I can’t even go see a doc or orthopedist bout it… Why? Cus unfortunately, like millions of other Americans out there, I am without health care/insurance… I’m only a student and my parents aren’t the richest ppl out there.. So if I get an X-ray scan (which I probably will), my parents are guna suffer for it real bad financially and it’s not worth it… I’d rather wait until I become a full time Certified Personal Trainer asafp and get my insurance that way… But still, that goal seems so far… I feel like I’m going NOWHERE… I am so frustrated beyond belief..

I feel so alone, so abandoned, so broken, so vulnerable… Even when I’m not doing good spiritually, mentally, or emotionally, I can physically be in control of my life in bodybuilding… Now it’s out of my control. What do I look forward to now? Even when things in life are so hecktic n crappy, I have this.. This part of my life I love and am extremely dedicated, maybe even obsessed sometimes.. And for God to strip this away from me, breaks my spirit. I know I shouldn’t be pointing the finger at God or anyone else but me… But I’m so angry I can’t stand it… Bodybuilding’s all I have in life at this point.. It’s what pushes me everyday to go beyond average or below like I was before bb… That’s why I chose to do this, to go above and beyond what I was or what I ever could be… But why can’t I??? Why me??? Why not the guy next to me who doesn’t even belong in the gym?? Why can’t I just be healthy?? Why does it seem like EVERYTHING in my life is too good to be true??? Why is life so dissapointing?? If I have to end up giving up bodybuilding, I duno what I’d do… Maybe God’s tryna tell me sumn, but even if He is, right now He’d be talking to deaf ears cus I’m not taking this too well.

When you have a passion in life, and something strips it away from you, it’s the worst feeling in the world… Maybe you understand, maybe you don’t… BUt I hope this kind of thing never happens to you….. I need some words of encouragement… Please. Anything will do. Thanks.

This seriously sucks…

So earlier this year, I kinda sprained my left wrist handling weights wrongly, kinda twisted it in a wrong angle and i felt a sharp pain… Hoping that it would go away (like previous injuries) I let it go and just continued on my journey in bb.. However the pain didn’t go away, continually putting stress and now it’s gotten to the point where it’s affecting my ulna.. I can’t twist or stretch my wrist in certain angles and basic moves are now starting to hurt my forearm.. This seriously blows man.

I tried to do some research,  but I’m pretty sure it’s a sprain of some sort. At first I thought it was tendinitis, but the symptoms are different thank God. I’m pretty sure it’s not bone or joint, it feels like tendon or cartilage? I’m not too sure.. It feels very bony compared to my other wrist.. But I’m going to get it checked out tomorrow and my parents want me to go get accupuncture… We’ll see how that goes…

But yeah this seriously sucks.. I hope it’s nothing too serious.. Bodybuilding is one of my top priorities in life… It’s the key component in my physical health, and if this is going to effect it badly, I don’t know what I’ll do… Just the thought of it makes me sad and depressed.. Bodybuilding is one of the things in my life that I feel I have the most control over. When spiritual struggles, emotional struggles, and mental (school) struggles are there, my physical life of bb is always something that I can stay on top of and feel in control, butwith this injury I feel completely helpless and out of control and not on top of anything in life… It makes me depressed and I hope and pray to God that it can be fixed… what a disaster…

Hope for the best…

Jin

Hey everyone

I just needed some advice.. So lately I have not been able to buy/eat good adequate diets due to low budget issues… I have been struggling to even keep a good protein intake.. I feel like crap cus it seems like it’s hindering my growth…

Do you guys have any tips or pointers on getting the adequate BB diet without a big budget??? THanks so much!!

Please help!

Jin

It’s my birthday and I’m finally 21!!! Yayy!

I totally didnt know bb.com sends u a 10% discount for your birthday!! woooo!! That put a smile on my face hahaha.

But anyways, even tho I’m "legal" now to drink, it’s not ALL that exciting for me haha. I don’t really drink, plus it has a bunch of calories n carbs… i know i sound like a freak LOL. But yeah I feel like I’m getting older!! BOOOooo haha. But it’s all good, I cant wait to see what God has in store for me this year…

I was gunna go workout today, a birthday workout if u will haha. But I need to spend time with fam and gf today. And friends wanna take me out thruout the week. what a busy week!! :) I’m so happy and blessed to have friends and family who love me and actually care.. Thank You God

But yeahh I hope for a great year to come! Gotta study my butt off for RN Preadmittance test and Personal Training Certificate!!! No room for hardcore partying and drinking!!!

Take care everyone!!! Keep it smiling!!!

~Jin~

I’m so saddddd…

I’m taking a break from bodybuilding due to taking out all 4 wisdom teeth this week (2 of them surgically removed) and also a small family trip to LA… I don’t wanna go to the gym with HUGE chipmunk cheeks.. And I probably won’t be able to eat right for a few days which sucks even MORE!!! Gosh, getting your wisdom teeth out is like one of bb’s worst dreams… It sucks cus I have a lot to improve on especially my cardio cus i’m really FAT lol… -___-"
But hopefully this break will be a much needed one, cus I always wondered if I was fatiguing pretty bad possibly due to overtraining or not cycling N.O… So if it’s any of those 2 then I’ll get my much needed rest! I just hope I can stay on top of my diet (which I absolutely do not know what to do since I’m not even working out….) So if anyone can give any pointers/tips? That would be so helpful! =]

 But yeahhhhhh like I said I hope this 1-week break will be a good one, where I don’t gain too much fat and lose too much muscle… YIKES WHAT A NIGHTMARE!!!

Other than that, I’m thinking of taking N.O. SHOTGUN for once. It sounds like a really good product, but I’m scared to buy the "buy 2 get 1 free" deal, cus who knows if it’ll work as good as superpump?? Anyways.. Have a good week everyone and keep lifting hard!!! I’m jealous…. The Animal will return soon after a week’s worth of hibernation… LOL!!

 - Jin

Hey everyone!

 I just had a simple question I was wondering about.. So I’ve been taking n.o. supps for a while now, and I was wondering if you need to cycle on and off??? Some people say you do, some people say you don’t….

 So do you have to cycle? Or can you take it regularly like protein? Why or why not? And if you do cycle, how often do you have to cycle n.o.?

Thanks a bunch everyone!!! Keep lifting hard!!!