Gimme SumO

Tried to make a sugarfree pumpkin pie for the family yesterday. Diabetisweet is SUPPOSED to be usable in baking. SO NOT. It was bitter, and we all put splenda on the end result and it was still nasty. ;o; So I am going to have to find an alternative, because the fam is wanting lots of pumpkin pies this season and we simply cannot do sugar!

I’ve been feeling pretty hungry today. Went over the 1800 calorie mark, but I think it’s okay. *chuckle* No doom and gloom for me.  (And no more complaining about my weight. It’s going to go the right direction eventually. It’s just got to adjust in the meantime…)

			Free Exercise Diarymy-calorie-counter.com
			Cal	Fat	Sat	Chl	Sod	Crb	Fib	Sug	Pro
Breakfast
1	2 eggs	plain omlette	140	9	0	430	130	2	0	0	12
1.5	1 Tbsp	Taco Bell® - Salsa	41	0	0	0	1064	0	0	0	2
0.75	cup	Milk, reduced fat, fluid, 2% milkfat, protein fortified, with added vitamin A	103	4	2	15	109	10	0	10	7
1	1/2 cup (dry)   40g	Quaker® - Old Fashioned Oats - hot cereal	150	3	1	0	0	27	4	1	5
3	oz	Cheese, mozzarella, part skim milk	216	14	9	54	526	2	0	1	21
0.5	2 Tbsp	Fifty50® - Peanut Butter spread, Creamy - no sugar or other sweeteners added	110	9	2	0	8	3	1	1	5
			760	39	14	499	1837	44	5	13	52
Lunch
4	1 slice	great value fat free smoked turkey breast	80	0	0	40	1360	0	0	0	20
2	1 slice	Kroger Multigrain Bread	160	2	0	0	230	30	2	6	6
1	cup, quartered or chopped	Apples, raw, with skin	65	0	0	0	1	17	3	13	0
1	Serving - 21 G	THE LAUGHING COW - CHEESE - SPREADABLE ORIGINAL LIGHT 8 CT PACK	30	2	1	10	260	1	0	1	3
			335	4	1	50	1851	48	5	20	29
Dinner
1.5	serving ( 3 oz )	Beef, ground, 85% lean meat / 15% fat, crumbles, cooked, pan-browned	326	20	7	115	113	0	0	0	35
1	medium whole (2-3/5″ dia)	Tomatoes, red, ripe, raw, year round average	22	0	0	0	6	5	1	3	1
0.1	cup chopped	Onions, yellow, sauteed	11	1	0	0	1	1	0	0	0
1	head	Lettuce, cos or romaine, raw	106	2	0	0	50	21	13	7	8
			465	23	7	115	170	27	14	10	44
Snack
1	1 bar	Rice-N-Shine Homemade Bars	126	8	0	0	0	10	0	0	6
1	cup (not packed)	Cheese, cottage, lowfat, 2% milkfat	203	4	3	18	918	8	0	1	31
0.25	cup	Seeds, sunflower seed kernels, toasted, with salt added	207	19	2	0	205	7	4	0	6
			536	31	5	18	1123	25	4	1	43
Water Tracker
Totals Target Balance			2096 1800 116 296	97 90 108 7	27 10 270 17	682 300 227 382	4981 2400 208 2581	144 180 80 36	28 25 112 3	44 50 88 6	168 150 112 18
			Cal	Fat	Sat	Chl	Sod	Crb	Fib	Sug	Pro
Activity
Totals			<STRONG>0</STRONG>

I wish I could convey to you how frustrating it is not to see some sort of feedback from my body, from the previous friday to today. My weight, I know, will fluctuate. Especially when you consider that the body is mostly water, and when you’re exercising and changing your diet, that water amount is going to be severely fluctuated throughout the day.

Also, I realize that the most correct data for bodyfat, especially for an obese person such as myself, is to use the bodpod or underwater weighing. Not exactly something I can do from week to week, but perhaps I can see about a trip over to Georgia Tech to get a reading… would be nice to know the truth, even if it’s not easy to hear. I know I have a lot of fat to lose.

So, from my measurement recordings, my BF% has gone up, just a bit… 38.3% to 38.5% Not enough, really, for me to be concerned, given the lack of accuracy for such readings. Of course, if it goes up to 40% in a week or two, I may need to re-evaluate. Urf…

Weight stayed the same…. sort of. 254 lbs. Well, Saturday, it had dipped down to 252, and I was so hoping that it’d dip down again to 250 by Monday, but it didn’t. Monday is circuit training class. Tuesday and Thursday, I walk. Wednesday was my Upper body weight training, and today will be my Lower body weight training. I’ll probably walk again tomorrow, and Sunday, I’ll just take it easy.

I was eating around 1500 calories, last weekend. I upped the amount to 1800, in hopes that perhaps that would help, if undereating was an issue. I haven’t seen a great change, either way, so I will stick with 1800 for the next week and see.

All I know is that I just have to stick with it… I think so long as I get my macros and calories in, and make sure my form is good when I exercise, I should be getting some results eventually. I’m starting to think that 80 lbs by June is going to be a harsh battle, if this is any indication.

Chin up, K.

xx

Many blessings. K out.

Well, actually… I haven’t had a scone in a long while. Or a biscuit, for that matter. But it works for a puntastic title, doesn’t it? Here’s an introduction about myself, with a followup on my current trials and tribulations.

I’ve been through many trials in my life, previous to this one. I was the odd duck, growing up and having to readjust several times, while my family moved around from place to place. Not so much as your typical army fam, but still, enough to spur on a trusting young girl into class clown. I was clumsy and awkward, like many kids are, but I was also a bit naiive compared to my peers. And let’s face it, I was and am, and shall always be a bit of a goofball. So there you are.

While in middle school, I added a little pudge, but nothing much to speak about. I had gone through puberty earlier in life (age seven), so again, I stood apart from many of my peers. My mother was battling her weight issues back then, using slim-fast (the old fashioned, chalky powder. Yuck!) and then tried the Scarsdale diet. (Murdered doctor’s diet. Yeah, a real winner, that choice.) Good intentions or not, Mom had me on the diet with her. I was around 5′4 or 5′5 at the time, not much shorter than my current height, and at 140 lbs.

I love my mother. I do. But I really wish she had never put me on a diet in middle school. I wish, instead, she would have sought out my P.E. instructor and found a way to get me into more physical activities. Yes, I was clumsy, but I have an athletic build, by nature. I could have found -something- to get into. I was a water baby, and spent every day, every summer at the pool, from morning until sunset. Never weak.

In highschool, I ended up having some medical issues. During freshman year, I developed Lumbar Redicular Syndrome and Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome, putting me out of commission and in a lot of pain. I remember going to a lot of different places, meeting a lot of different doctors, and going through a lot of different tests. I even remember that nasty stuff they make you drink before a couple of them, too. Evil stuff. But that’s about all I remember. Mom made a journal of everything that happened with my body, and all the tests, everything. I’m sure she has it around here still, somewhere. So… I figure, if I can get through that, I can get through anything.
I came out from that year weighing roughly 160 lbs. Not great, but not as bad as I thought at the time. A couple of years later, I had another bad roll with physical issues. This time, it was endometriosis. I was put on a drug that prettymuch shut down my menstral cycle, for six months. Then there was the lapyroscopy. The doctor played laser tag inside my innards until the bad ol’ endo was gone. Hooray! But between my problems in freshman year, and then in junior year, I didn’t have enough credits to be a senior. So, upon recommendation from my father, I obtained my GED the summer following junior year. That fall, I started my college career, now at 180 lbs. (Here’s one for you, I finally graduated LAST MAY. Rant for another day…)

Since then, it seems to be 10 lbs one year, 5 another. When my father died of a heart attack at age fifty, in 1997, I was twentytwo years old and weighed about 230 lbs or so. By 2002, I had gained another 50 to 70 lbs (I stopped weighing then, so it’s estimated…).  You’d have thought the wake-up call would have done it. I guess I fell back asleep.

Later, in 2002, I started to lose weight. It was eerily a similar situation to the one I’m in now, a period of unemployment. Well, as one job searches, there’s not much that one can do to keep her spirits up, but try to better one’s life.  I lost 80 lbs, over that year and the next, and promptly put much of it back on after working at a movie theatre for the next year. I went back to college in Fall, 2004. I weighed 265 at that point.

I did what I could to fight the battle of the bulge while in college, but let’s face it. When you have as much work to be done as an art major does, and what little time you have left over, you spend with friends~~eehhhh, well. I did walk with one of my friends, but the effort never seemed to get me too far. I ballooned up to 280 lbs, then lost to 270 lbs. Then back up, and fed by prediabetes, I shot over 295 into a clouded area where I no longer weighed myself. Confronted by my mother over my depression at the time, I sought counseling and went to a clinic, finding out about my prediabetic condition. So I fought again. This was last year. I made some real progress. I used a couple of really nice websites to track that progress. I was doing really well! I was down to 265 lbs from 295+ lbs! I had it goin’! But I had to move back home. And I had to commute to college (3 hours roundtrip).
And then my laptop got stolen.

Instead of using the facilities at school to track my weight. Instead of using the home computer. Instead of pushing myself to work out and eat right again, and because driving the distance there and back was a pain in the tuckus, I stopped. My good habits were once again broken. And because I wasn’t tracking my numbers anymore, up up up and away the lbs came.

It was now January 2008, and I was as big as before. Not weighing. Too wrapped up in a blossoming romance, and looking forward to my graduation (finally!) — I knew I needed to get something done. So I started good eating habits I knew worked before. Except they’d go out the window on date night, which was becoming weekly. And my boyfriend loved to spoil me and loved eating as much as I did. Oddly enough, from February to March, I did still lose 5 lbs. But I wasn’t doing too well as getting things under control.

Lucky for me, my boyfriend decided things weren’t working out and the ex-boyfriend diet spurred me on full-forward into weightloss. Mind you, I have never gotten the numbers I did that first week (a whopping 7 lbs unloaded! EEK!), but since then, I have been diligent. Even though it’s been a slow loss, it has been pretty stable and I feel good about how far I’ve come.

I realize, too, that I will always have to track my weight, and nip things in the bud when bad habits rear their ugly heads. I’m okay with that. I feel better than I have in several years, and I am looking forward to the healthy returns of going to the gym and eating right and clean.

Right now, I weigh 254 lbs. I have far to go, but I am taking it one day at a time, one step at a time, and one pound at a time. It’s just like my degree, it’s a long hard battle, but if I stick with it, long enough: I’ll achieve my goals.

Many blessings. K out.