The funniest thing about bodybuilding someties is the appearance that youre at your strongest point when your ripped and shredded.... Sometime when it comes down to competition it could be one of the worst feelings you could have in your life physically.... but mentally sometimes theres no greater high.... One of the things that I feel sometimes gets in the way is running... Been in the Army for a while now and in this game you have to maintain a certain speed for a two mile run... not too hard at all most of the time, but when it comes time for your bulking cycle this can turn into a whole different beast.... A 14 min two mile becomes 18 and your back and joints start to feel like extra weights are attached to everyone of them.... ahh well what can you do..?? just keep moving i suppose... Probably need to find a new bulking method that doesnt get me super huge in the offseason... probably means no pigging out the next week or so after my contests as well.... live and learn

What is this?? The fear of not accomplishing my goals?? perhaps but that is not all that is wrapped up inside this ridiculously confusing box I call a brain.. Sometimes I think its the fear of myself what I have become and what it means in my everyday life. I didn't notice this before, but, somehow I feel alone here. Now as I look up all I see is the next rep above me and a pool of sweat below me reminding me of the intensity and hard work days of dieting and laying low from the rest of the world. Is it worth all of the time and effort I could have spent having a good time? Who cares?? Im here now, another addict of the iron has been created and I know Im never going back to the "normal" world. All that matters is my understanding of this and my next rep!