Everything you wanted to know about Finland brought to you by KING MARMOSET
The land is flat. Not Kansas flat, but pretty damned flat!
You ever here that Scandinavia has the lowest population density of the Western world? That is true!! You fly in and there are barely any houses or human structures as far as the eye can see. This is in Helsinki too (not just out in the boonies)! If you have ever been to Tokyo, Seoul, or Ireland you know that every single molecule of land is used in some way. Finland is all trees and nothing. It’s cool! I’ll be here on vacation some day.
The trees are all coniferous or birch. I burned down a small forest just because I’m not nice.
When you get off the plane, in order to get to the next plane they put skis on you. Then, you grab onto some kind of even toed ungulate and it races you to the next plane. I never saw this type of animal before and I know every animal that ever existed. It looked kind of like a racing cow or maybe a reindeer with a super bitchin’ haircut. When you want them to start running you just tap them on their ample nuts. That is a totally true story. Don’t question it.
Okay, I’ve been awake for like 35 hours now. I’ll write more my tomorrow/your tonight about Russia. I’ll cover the gym, a 3 humped camel, the strange mammals I’ve eaten, avoiding radioactive blueberries, and so much more!!
April 20, 2008 at 12:31 pm
First of all, you told me you would never punch an ungulate in the balls unless you knew what kind it was. How are you gonna sleep when you are probably driving yourself crazy thinking of all the "KM stuff" out there. I bet you haven’t slept b/c you are busy researching 3 humped camels and such
April 21, 2008 at 6:49 am
The adventure begins!! Wicked awesome airport shuttle system….you’ll never see anything like that at O Hare!!!
April 21, 2008 at 7:08 am
PICS or you’re lying.
I am eagerly awaiting the 3-humped camel, the strange mammels you’ve eaten (I bet i’ve eaten them, too!), and your tales of the blueberries that may cause spontaneous tail growth. 
April 21, 2008 at 8:28 pm
LOL, way to burn down a small forest just to show them who is truly the King!
April 24, 2008 at 7:37 am
WOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLO
May 19, 2008 at 7:36 am
Finland!!!!! The land of my grandmother’s birth!!!! I golfed there at 10 p.m. a few summers back.