GNC: Ripe Monkey Balls
King Marmoset can read your minds!! Didn’t know that, did ya? He sends out his filthy mental tentacles all through the world to sift through your grubby brains and ferret out juicy bits of information. Some of you should be very ashamed of yourselves (you know who you are)! One question seems to uniformly permeate all human brains, "Why does GNC suck ripe monkey balls?". King Marmoset believes he has answers.
Lets establish the root of suckitude about GNC that pisses one and all off - the maniacal hard sell for anyone entering the premises. For people like us, people with bodies being finely tuned and highly aesthetic genitalia, we don’t need the hard sell. It’s annoying and it makes me want to marry fist with obnoxious face (often times my own obnoxious face). What is the origin of this ridiculous counter-business hard-sell procedure?
Once a fortnight King Marmoset showers, puts on clothes, goes out into the really-real world, and mimics being a normal person. Today, he pretended to be a business man and met with some GNC execs. Here is what was learned…
GNC isn’t extremely concerned with business from the fitness crowd. Their entire pitch is geared to the first time supplement/vitamin buyer; the people who have a lot of questions and are more susceptible to their greasy sales pitch. The savvy supplement buyer often buys their junk from the Intrawebs. However, newbies will go to brick and mortar stores because they seek advice. Like all good pushers, GNC gets their hooks into the vulnerable at a young age.
This is simply an FYI from your friendly neighborhood King Marmoset! Beware my filthy mental tentacles, my pretties. Their reach is long and you can’t hold out your dirty secrets from their prying grasp for ever!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
March 5, 2008 at 11:19 am
tisk tisk, shop here www.muscleoutlet.com
NO ONE beats his prices, IF yuo order online mention my name, LOLOLOL
BRRUUTTTTUUUUSSSSSSPPPPLLLLAAACCCCCCCCCCC
i was in store last tues .
I have nto shopped anywhere esle in over 18 months . what were yuo trying to buy ??
so what did u do for yuor last workout ? hows it going ?
March 5, 2008 at 11:30 am
bro, used to work at gnc and understand their products are highly over-priced (which is their biggest downfall); but, the only individuals working at the stores giving gnc’s greasy sales pitches are those with no idea what half of the products actually do. Believe it or not, there is a multitude of gym rats working in these stores holding considerable knowledge of supplements and their perks…It’s these individuals that keep customers coming back, not sales pitches
March 5, 2008 at 11:42 am
I will admit there are SOME knowledgeable people that work at some of the locations. I actually go to the same gym as some of them. However, while they’re in the store they turn into really push people…it’s like, "checkmate, get off my back".
But the way I look at it is, why would someone use someone trying to sell a product as their sole source of information on that product. You don’t go to a car dealership to buy a car without first doing some research on your own, so why would you do so with supplements.
March 5, 2008 at 11:49 am
Herc101, seeing as you were an employee can you tell us if you were instructed on your sales procedure? Was it a corporate or franchised store?
March 5, 2008 at 11:53 am
I was WONDERING why my two brain cells were being more active than usual… I can totally explain the situation with the chicken suit and fairy wings!
The frugal chick in me tends to shop online… but if I fail to plan ahead, I’ll always choose a mom and pop’s over GNC any day. So perhaps there’s better luck there?
March 5, 2008 at 11:59 am
Doesn’t help their sales staff is on commission and they’ve got contracts to be the only carrier of a lot of new products to try and drive business. The mark up is just plain stupid. I dunno why anyone would go there instead of just going online. Honestly, is the newest product that MuscleTech blew thousands of dollars on to make a 4 page "article" on their own stuff about really that worth getting the day it’s released? Some people…
March 5, 2008 at 12:31 pm
I thought I felt someone lurking in my mind… man am I embarrassed! But that’s what you get for looking! It is a desperate day in my sup cabnet when I am forced to go to GNC and a sad day for my checkbook! I have to say other then the usual "are you taking areally good multivitamin?" question (apparently only GNC sells really good multivitamins) I have not noticed a hard sell.
March 5, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Serves you right….if SOME PEOPLE would stop prancing into that store without any pants on, then maybe the employees there would stop commenting on SOME PEOPLES’ bodies being finely tuned and mentioning highly aesthetic genitalia.
….and those see-thru pants you have been sporting around town ……ummm, no
March 6, 2008 at 1:51 am
so……you know about…umm….well……that thought…..I have……about…..OH CRAP!
March 6, 2008 at 12:12 pm
i hate going to gnc….ugh…. i have never met a knowledgeable highschool student employee…. the buffalo stores are yuck…
March 9, 2008 at 6:36 am
GNC is a ploy of the devil designed to separate us from our hard earned money while selling us crappy supplements that don’t really work anyway! Do not be fooled by them!! Kudos to you mighty one for exposing their evil plan!
March 9, 2008 at 7:09 am
Yeah if you think about it, The GNC products themselves are at a decent price o try and drive their own products while making all other competitors seem ridiculously over priced. But point made it only does work on newcomers, which there are plenty of everyday some skinny kid look at a magazine and wants to get huge so they head over to GNC because its the only supplement store around. Personally I only go into GNC to see what new products I want to check out online.
March 9, 2008 at 10:08 pm
Online, or the newly discovered Max Muscle store. Very happy that one is close! And the manager is awesome and knowledgeable.
And did your mental prowess enjoy the chemistry/calculus nonsense?
March 10, 2008 at 1:32 pm
When I first started…I went ot GNC…the prices were freaking crazy…and the dumbass trying to sell me the stuff….told me he had great knowledge because his grandfather was a viking! WTF? what does that have to do with anything? Yeah I’m that kind of guy…I just started laughing at him and told him to go away….. thats when I found BB.Com…and have been shopping here ever since!
Real Men Have Mass!
March 14, 2008 at 8:17 pm
I can always count on you for a good read. GNC is teh crap, but don’t tell Germangirl or she may crush you!