King Sized Marmoset… Or, Zombies See In Blue
Who is the fattest Marmoset in all in the land? King Marmoset is!!!
No food…NO FOOD was spared the King’s ample family inspired holiday wrath. He had to wear his corduroy trousers with the elastic waist band… Yeah, no wasting time fidgeting with a belt and buttons. Just let your gut expand and the elastic will do the rest. All great predators can distend their bellies to accommodate vast quantities in one sitting. King Marmoset’s belly expands infinitely in all directions. King Marmoset = Apex Predator. Do the math yourself.
Ham: Dispatched with great vengeance and furious anger. Tears were shed by Granny Marmoset at this. She weeped at the effort she put in to cook such a ham only to have it eaten with such shame and contempt. Save your tears for someone who can be redeemed, Granny Marmoset! The appetite of King Marmoset hath no soul!
Peppermint ice cream: Mainlined directly into the system. The quick burning carbs fueled other eating projects.
Roast beef: First, romanced. Then, eaten whole. See Ham above for tears, no soul, yada-yada-yada.
Barbecued meatballs: Inhaled via the nose whilst the mouth devoured other nutrients and occasionally cursed out family members.
Turkey: Turkey made a fatal error by looking so delicious and making eye contact with the King. Upon brutally assaulting this cooked bird with a knife and fork, relatives of King Marmoset tried to interfere and get some for themselves. They were never seen again. The King does not share food now and forever!
Gigantolocerous steaks: What animal is Gigantolocerous? The King’s holiday feasting on this delicious meat was so extensive that he erased Gigantolocerous from ever existing. Yes, a rift in the Space-Time continuum was created and the Gigantolocerous was wiped from history. It was struck from the record. It never existed!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!
Okay, no more writing now. The King is sleepy from having some bad dreams about zombie hordes last night. The last dream ended with the King coming back as a zombie. It was shocking to learn that zombies see in a bluish tint. Use this info when combatting this unending evil in the future. Note: Never eat zombie flesh!! It’s not on the clean diet menu.
December 27, 2007 at 12:34 pm
Nor is zombie flesh as nutritious or scrumptious as Gigatalocerous steaks!
December 27, 2007 at 9:50 pm
Gigantolocerous…hmmm…this coulda been the last one–they say it got hit by a car….but I believe they are covering up for the boy in the motorized wheelchair who shot it in the eye with a bottle rocket….that Marty is a badass!!
http://www.sunjournal.com/news/city/20060816074.php
December 30, 2007 at 12:28 am
ahhh…the power food has o bring a family together….and the hunger of the beast can make the whole family want to stay away! Good times bro. I love food myself…and no, i did not hold back!
December 30, 2007 at 12:21 pm
Sounds scrumptious! That’s the beauty of two families: two Christmas dinners
December 30, 2007 at 1:04 pm
So what you are saying is that while fighting zombies, one should be dressed in full Smurf Gear. So as not to be seen by the zombies. That would be some smurfy camoflauge.
December 30, 2007 at 10:55 pm
TISK TISK , i stopped by to see pics of the basement of torture ??????
YOU KING will have ot stop by and see the HAPPY NEW YEAR BABY on my page after 6 pm monday LMFAO .
YOUR blogs are great dont get me wrong.
HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!!!!!!! peaceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
January 2, 2008 at 10:32 am
ohhhhh. I am getting indigestion just reading about Marmie’s food exploits!!!!