Beware The Jaguar, My Son! The Jaws That Bite, The Claws That Catch!
Twas icy in Marmosetia this past week. Whilst springing from branch to branch an icy patch was struck and YOUR King Marmoset did lose his mighty grip and fall to the earth below; he fell into an icy world of besmirchment and ruin!
Food: While lurking on the ground, Father and Brother Marmoset did pay a visit to your humble narrator (great thieves of productivity they both are). Pizza was the food they brought with them. For the first time in 2007, pizza was consumed in mass quantities. Pepperoni is not a good source of protein!
Fermented Fruits: Yes, my handsome friends, fermented fruits do lay at the base of the great trees. What can start as a quick shot of 12 year old Jameson’s imported from Ireland with Father Marmoset can spiral into a blur of wickedness. Fermented fruit juice known as Corona, Red Bull and grape vodka, and whiskey can lay even the greatest of marmosets low. Ah, but were the marmoset mammaries of fallen lady marmosets worth it. Of course they were. They always are.
Battle With The Beast: There is a creature of great dread that lurks upon the ground: the Jaguar!!!!!
Mighty King Marmoset does enjoy combat with the beast, but it always leaves its battle mark on the King: exhaustion, deep bruising, muscle strains, impact injuries, sleep lose, and lacerations from sticks (yes, the Jaguar employs sticks as weapons). With all these ailments piling up, it’s hard to find the will to lift boulders.
The King understands how he fell to the icy earth. He also understands it’s time to dig thy claws into the trunk of tree and begin the ascent back to the heavens and greatness. So sayeth I, KING MARMOSET, now and forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nerd note: Did you know the jaguar is a native of the United States, extirpated due to over hunting and predator control programs? But low, it has returned to parts of its former range in Arizona and New Mexico. Beware the desert nights, my pretties. A foe beyond any man lurks there.
November 1, 2007 at 9:08 am
Female Mammories: Yes Sir!! Fermented Fruits: No sir!! Beating people with stick: YES SIR!! Nerd Note: Huh, I really did not know that about Jaguar’s. Nerd note 2: "Ligers are pretty much my favorite animal." (Nap Dyn).
November 3, 2007 at 3:23 pm
Nerd alert indeed!!
haahha…to what bodyauditor said…I actually SAW something on the Discovery channel the other day about REAL ligers. So, maybe they DO exist…….
November 5, 2007 at 4:29 am
I must agree that pepperoni is not a good source of protein. I also must agree with the great BA!! Mammaries are very good but I must disagree with him about the fermented fruit! It is very good indeed with the exception of it’s use in conjunction with mammaries. Mammaries and fermented fruit should never be mixed….it is a recipe for disaster.
November 5, 2007 at 7:22 am
No boobies and beer? OH CRAP! lol