King_Marmoset!’s BodyBlog

High atop Marmosetia, on a thrown of bromeliad, King Marmoset surveys his kingdom.  Finally, there is peace between the Raptor clans and the United Marmoset League!  How this peace was attained is a story for another day, my nose gold harvesting readers, but this new found peace has allowed King Marmoset some spare brain energy to wax on everyone’s favorite subject:  lady marmosets.  

The Good:  Armed with a shiny, healthy parasite free coat, strong arms, hands and feet for firmly gripping branches or tasty insects, and a curling, writhing prehensile tail, YOUR King Marmoset sets about displaying for lady marmosets.  Being in top condition is essential for attracting disease and parasite free mates of a high genetic quality.  Lately, lady marmosets have asked the King to present his chest or posterior as part of the mating ritual.  Very strange this is, but it shows that all the boulder lifting, tree climbing, and predatory snake wrangling is paying off.  

The Bad:  Not all lady marmosets are parasite and disease free.  It’s hard to tell by looking at them, but there are tell tale signs.  Lady marmosets with a high likelihood of contamination will often make distress calls while drinking fermentation juice.  "Ballsinmouth!  Ballsinmouth!" was one the King heard repeatedly on Saturday.  One bout of simian crotch fungus could cost a young marmoset his entire kingdom.  It is wise to avoid any lady marmosets with such a distress call regardless of how enticing the offers may be.

The Ugly:  Not only does the benefit of boulder lifting attract lady marmosets, but it also attracts obviously unwanted male marmosets.  Not male marmosets seeking to usurp a territory or establish dominance, but male marmosets seeking something else…  Flattering though the male marmosets advances may be, fruitless they are.  

For any young marmosets out there who would one day like to establish a territory of their own and mate with many receptive healthy lady marmosets, keep lifting those boulders, climbing those trees, and fighting off those snakes.  Displays of health and vigour will always be their own rewards.  So sayeth I, KING MARMOSETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT, now and forever!!!!!

This entry was posted on Monday, September 10th, 2007 at 9:58 am and is filed under Training. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.