Proof That The Gods Are Cruel
The ice was absolutely brutal for our game on Tuesday (my second game of the night), and one of our defensemen blew a wheel and hit the ice tremendously hard. He was really hurting for a few minutes, but shook it off and finished the game (it ended up being our seventh tie in a row). After the game, the D-man noted that he hit the ice so hard he ended up getting a hemorrhoid. It’s mind numbing to me to think of an impact so brutal you get a hemorrhoid. He also said it’s not the first time that had happened.
Hemorrhoid. Think about what that is. The gods, both old and new, are cruel and devious to allow something like that to exist. We are not to know their ways. So sayeth I, KING MARMOSET, now and forever!!!!!!!!
August 30, 2007 at 11:26 am
If it was the first time it happened…how do you know it was a hemmorhoid?
Wait….didn’t I send you an email about hemmorhoids?
haha
’second game of the night’ ?!?!?!
Is KM INSANE????
August 30, 2007 at 12:34 pm
Dude not that I would ever question the hearing of one so great as King Marmoset but are you sure he didn’t say he got a hematoma and not a hemorrhoid??? That could explain a lot of things. I can’t imagine that even a vicious fall could cause a hemorrhoid unless he was gripping like a bitch right before impact!!
August 30, 2007 at 12:37 pm
That is what he said. I guess he has detailed hemorrhoid knowledge. I’m going to suggest he names his new lil buddy Jessy.
P.S. I forgot to mention it was at 2 different rinks. I had to drive to the other rink in the next country with my pads on. Thank goodness the cops didn’t stop me.
August 30, 2007 at 6:15 pm
Oh, no. He said hemorrhoid. He even went into detail about it. We were all a little horrified so no one asked detailed questions. I’m going to take his word for that one.
August 31, 2007 at 8:11 am
That’s the craziest thing I ever heard!! Bust your head and blow your sphincter!!! LOL!! I’ve had several concussions and a serious head injury that took 10 staples to close but it never affected my ass.
September 7, 2007 at 8:35 am
When dealing with hemmorhoids, sometimes it’s best to incorporate a "don’t ask, don’t tell" policy. I would conduct a team meeting immediately to discuss the suggested policy. Let’s just face it, mention of hemmorhoids inherently provides such a nasty visual, all game focus may be lost for several days…in some instances, it may produce a need for further psychological help. Speaking of which, I’m off to that special therapy now….