Simian Bowel Agitator Virus
When you attain the rank of King Marmoset you become accustom to having other lesser marmosets jealously coveting your position. They employ many nefarious tactics and techniques for besmirchment. The use of viruses is one such tactic.
Yee olde King Marmoset was distracted this weekend by caring for alcohol related sick lady marmosets in the loathsome city of Baltimore. When my guard was down I was inoculated by some "simian bowel agitator virus". Darkness did befall your lord and master then and ever since.
But this wretched virus brought a disturbing companion to hold down the ever strobing might of King Marmoset; the companion was lactose intolerance. It’s a well known fact that growing a bigger King Marmoset requires many gallons of the milk. Whether the milks originate from marmoset tit, cow udder, or rat nipple matters not. All the milks are assimilated for proteins. So, not realizing lactose intolerance had been inflicted, all the milks were consumed and your handsome narrator was darkened even more.
Meditating high in the branches of the living room tree did I realize the foul plot of my enemies and the tools of their wickedness. I vowed then and there to swear off the milks until at least Saturday. Then, my mighty bacterial symbiotes would rise again to overrule the viruses and digest the milks!
The illness did give The King time to reflect on growing a bigger body. A decision came to pass: it’s time to shred it!
There are no more weddings or trips out of Marmosetia planned so all dirty foods will be banished; alcohol chiefest and greatest of the dirty deeds. Hockey has returned many times per week for added blubber burning. A supplement change from Muscle Milk to ON Whey will occur due to the fat in MM. The situation is ripe for banishing blubber from the kingdom of Marmosetia now and forever!!
June 14, 2007 at 10:15 am
What can I say good King Marmoset but…….Flippin Awesom BLOG!! Good to have you back!
June 14, 2007 at 12:18 pm
I am sorry to hear about your simian virus. I hope it did not turn you into a red assed baboon!
June 14, 2007 at 1:50 pm
marmoset tit—baahahahahahahahahah!!!
June 15, 2007 at 6:55 am
LMAO…I was reading this in a british accent and it’s great. Hope you get better bro.
July 11, 2007 at 12:13 pm
Saddened was I, upon assimilating the knowledge of thou’s previous afflicition with unspeakable archaic murrain. Godspeed is offered up from the Southern most area of the King’s charge….