King_Marmoset!’s BodyBlog

Do you like Seafoods in a Can?  

I do not like them, King Marmoset, I am!  

I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I do not like them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like Seafoods in a Can.
I do not like them, King Marmoset, I am.

Your ol’ handsome narrator gets pestered by the Seafood nazis at nigh onto every feeding, "Oh, lordly and majestic King Marmoset - greatest of all calamities, why oh why do you not eat food of the sea?  Fish is good.  Clams is good.  Kraken is good.  Godzilla is good.  Why don’t you eat them?  Have you ever tried them?"  

Hhhhhhhh…

King Marmoset doesn’t eat such filthy swimming things because… Because they are ill-mannered, ill-conceived, ill-tempered, low and nasty COLD BLOODED ANIMALS!!  

King Marmoset didn’t get to be at the top of the food chain by eating cold blooded brutes like bugs, jelly fish, trilobites, lawyers, and toads.  No, that position is attained by eating bad-ass warm blooded animals:  cows, birds, bison, other monkeys, unicorns, manatees, styrofoam, big-foot, wookies, etc.  

Ever wondered how all the rich mega-fauna of the world went extinct at the end of the last ice age?  I GODDAMN ATE THEM!!!  Oh, it was totally selfish to eat all those lovely and delicious creatures, but the bulk was on!  Yeah, the bulk was on like Donkey Kong!!  Oh, that fool, Donkey Kong, was consumed and assimilated for lean proteins too!  

Yee olde King Marmoset is going to Baltimore this weekend.  It will be another weekend of dirty deeds done dirt cheap.  There are bags of chicken and such making the journey, but they won’t last.  Dirty foods will eventually besmirch your glorious narrator.  Sure, seafood is an option instead of getting low-down and dirty.  However, satisfaction won’t be given over to the brutes of the sea out of pure spite.  So sayeth I now and forever!!!  

Note 1:  Fungus is also never consumed.  Never, ever eat anything from outer space unless it has a face.  If it has a face, you can be reasonably sure that this space creature is worth a nibble.  

Note 2:  Godzilla would totally be consumed if the chance was presented.  That just a lie before.  That is way too much lean protein and healthy fat to pass up.  Although, all that radiation might be trouble down the road.  Is radioactive food okay on a clean diet?  The smart money would be on yes.

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 7th, 2007 at 10:57 am and is filed under Training. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.