Kat82’s BodyBlog

I don’t know whether it’s the heat..or cuz I feel like I’m getting fatter each day I am not running..but I’ve hit a bit of a mental wall..where I feel like I’m failing myself again.  This time it’s only due to the physical fact I can’t run with shin splints…it’s been going on maybe a week and a half now? 

I don’t want to lose motivation.. but it’s getting to the point that i look in the mirror n just cringe… I’m such a long way from where I was.. and getting back there after this setback is just seemingly hard in my mind now…whereas just a while ago I was psyched and ready.

Could be just the heat breaking my spirit..but I just feel like I’ve lost control over my will at the moment.  I don’t want to fall off the path to where I was going.  How do you stay motivated when you get hit with setbacks?

But I’ve been up over 24 hours now due to the heat…and I can’t sleep because my unit has no aircon - and it’s been hot all day and night!  41 degrees…urgh!

What’s worse is I just watched the Green Mile..brilliant movie.. but my heart has sunk a bit after watching it…and it’s got me thinking too much!  It’s great to have a thought provoking movie..but coupled with sleep deprevation and heat..not so peachy keen.

Otay - whinge is officially over!  America - please send some snow our way!!

So I’ve put it off and put it off.. all the while in the back of my head thinking that boxing was the best work out..and knowing sometime I’d have to go back to it.

They tell you that you’re conditioned by magazines, and other media in general.  From a girl who can’t be bothered reading beauty magazines (because the idea of finding out about who is wearing what doesn’t send me into a girly frenzy) and hardly is near a television..it’s not how I’ve been conditioned.

Mental conditioning for me started at a young age, watching everyone in my family dieting.  Listening to people whinge about not being able to shed unwanted kilos, and having people eventually turn on me (in my family) and comment on my weight.  I’m sure I wasn’t the only 10 year old in the world dieting.  That’s where it all really started for me.

The years have gone on..and in 15 years I’ve been yoyo dieting..being slim as can be and not being able to see it in the mirror, to being maybe slightly over the average…and yet seeing that as morbidly obese in my eyes. 

I have had one constant thing in my life.. the constant nagging in my head to be better than I am..look better.. and when the better comes - not apprecaiting it and still wanting more. 

I’ve had a string of boyfriends who have all preyed on my self esteem issues (trust me, I don’t broadcast them - this is the first time that I’m openly admitting i have them).. and if anything - have made them a whole lot worse.   

The feeling of never being good enough..is the worst feeling in the world.  You really do become your own worst enemy.

The reason 4 this long diatribe..is I want to know - how do people out there promote a healthy self esteem for themselves?  Has anyone had similar feelings - how do you overcome them?  It’s been 25 years of mental conditioning - I know I can’t erase it over night..but I realise how unhealthy it is.  Healthy mind, and healthy body is my aim from being here.

Sorry I wrote so much!  Shorter post next time

Kat xo

So I ended up with shin splints from running on the road too much it’d seem.  I was making great fitness progress..and now my shins are painful even to get around with everyday.  I can’t wear HEELS … I can’t over exert myself.. I can’t RUN.  I’m frustrated as hell.

Any idea how to heal shin splints faster?  I feel each day that goes past..all my hard work is coming undone :/  Even any tips on what exercises would be beneficial - and keep me on the path to fit would be great.

Hoping you lovely people can help me!

Keeping up to date with progress pics to keep me on track.  Maybe if I start seeing the difference I’ll be motivated to keep going hard, and ignore the evil scale!

 it’s under there!

I made the mistake of jumping onto the scales.  I was mortified.  The scales tipped at the heaviest I’ve ever been.  Here I am being good, and the scales are reporting I’m a fatty.

It’s too early to see results from my diet and exercise regime.  Thanks to shin splints the exercise has taken a backseat, and I’m being a diet nazi instead.

I think I can kinda see some muscle..but it’s just under fat.  So this fatloss thingy I’m doing should sort that right out  I’m ready for change..and I’m working so hard at it right now - I can’t imagine going back to my old ways now!  Progress is on it’s way!

Any ideas on how to reduce calves?  Is it just a matter of dieting?

I just got back from a run and I’m still doubled over in pain.

I’ve been back to running for 2 months now.  Lately (last 2 weeks) my calf muscles have been cramping to the point where today where I had to stop on the footpath and try to massage the cramp out in the rain.  A passing motorist even stopped to see if I was okay!  Needless to say I don’t want this happening anymore. 

I’ve tried lots of things to overcome it.  I’ve stretched, paid greater attention to my running style, put some more salt in my diet.. make sure I drink 3 litres of water a day..nothing seems to be working.  Each time the pain is getting worse and lasting longer.  Today when I was half an hour from home and somewhat incapacitated I was worried if it happened again and I was stranded that I could find myself in major trouble. 

Any help would be brilliant - has anyone else ever had this problem?