Justa_Sarge’s BodyBlog

As I have been home I have been wondering what the F is wrong with me… Well this past week there has been a proverbial lifting of a brain fog… I have been drugged - Simple

The Army in all its wisdom as it wanted me to get healed after wreaking my back has given me drug after drug… I would see myself in the mirror and hate the way I had gone soft and flabby and say OK tomorrow I am back in the gym and then take the drugs the Army assigned me so I could sleep at night and all day would be lazy and lethargic… and at night i would look in the mirror and start the whole process over again…

Well this past week, I threw them all away… I made the choice that I need to feel my body and get back in touch with it… I need to feel the pain and go from there…

Right now I have micro fractures in my spine and some torn muscles in my back and I will heal them but I am done with the drugs they give you…

I am freeking embarrassed about my body and what has gone on the past couple of months, so I posted the true shots of how fat I have become since returning home in hopes that it will help motivate me into doing something about it…

As I have been home I have been wondering what the F is wrong with me… Well this past week there has been a proverbial lifting of a brain fog… I have been drugged - Simple

The Army in all its wisdom as it wanted me to get healed after wreaking my back has given me drug after drug… I would see myself in the mirror and hate the way I had gone soft and flabby and say OK tomorrow I am back in the gym and then take the drugs the Army assigned me so I could sleep at night and all day would be lazy and lethargic… and at night i would look in the mirror and start the whole process over again…

Well this past week, I threw them all away… I made the choice that I need to feel my body and get back in touch with it… I need to feel the pain and go from there…

Right now I have micro fractures in my spine and some torn muscles in my back and I will heal them but I am done with the drugs they give you…

I am freeking embarrassed about my body and what has gone on the past couple of months, so I posted the true shots of how fat I have become since returning home in hopes that it will help motivate me into doing something about it…

I am finally returning home this week after being gone for over a year in Iraq, Fort McCoy, Fort Hood, and Fort Lewis in the Wounded Warrior program…

I am very frustrated in so many things that has happened the past few months.

1. I re-injured my back and now feel like I can’t do any moves or hard core lifts

2. I had lost 45lbs in Iraq and have gained at least 15lbs back  and I feel like its all flab…

3. I come home alone to no one other than my daughters, I left for Iraq in love and I still have feelings for her but she sent me a "dear john" while I was in Iraq because the distance was too great and things got misunderstood due to the fact we were 11 time zones apart…

Time to Change - Time to restart everything…

Sometimes it helps if I can focus on one aspect to get my vision right - So right now I am gonna focus on my training to get feeling better and then work on the rest…

So for my lower back to gain flexibility - I am actually thinking that yoga and pilates would be the best thing.

For full body workouts, I need to get back to swimming

I was thinking that 2 short cardio sessions would help me in dropping some weight

As for my weight lifting aspect - I think that I re-hurt myself by going to heavy too fast. I was reading an article about sets of 20’s, 50’s and 100’s with very light weights and how that could help in building my core back up to strength without re-injuring my back and how it will re-build my body to look and feel good again.

The only part that I am worried about is my diet… A single dad with little kids half the time, rehabbing his back - I am gonna re-read about things to eat and work on eating more salads - gag me

Anyone got any other ideas?

WTF do I have to do to lose pounds… I can see inches leaving my body but damn it… I thought I had broken through the 280 barrier that had been haunting me this whole deployment and was going to see some real results and weight loss and what happens despite eating clean and right and busting my ass in the gym, on the combatives mat and the basketball court - I add the weight back this morning…

I have not been taking anything like hydroxycut -weightloss stuff - but I think I might have to to do something… I might also have to stop taking the Gatkic cause while its helping in one area I bet its hurting in others

I don’t know, I am just pissed at the scale this morning - plus all my bet-buddies back home are losing the weight…

… steal a video and post it

Saw this video on Youtube and kinda liked it…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylNkAsPgzMg&feature=related

enjoy

1 - i am finally feeling alive again - i am getting excited about counting down the days until I go home

2 - i made a bet with some friends back home about 90 days and weight loss - i don’t think i will win due to the amount of my muscle and thier fat but its more good motivation to keep my eyes on the prize to look hawt when i come home

3 - i hate it when people smoke in the por-ta-potties before you hav to use them…

4 - i now have 95 days worth of songs on my ipod - i think i am good for a while

5 - i am thinking about doing a photo montague of some of our missions here with tunes - my creative bug is kicking in again…

6 - i always have wondered what do guys who got "dear john letters" do when they go home. do they just go to the bar and hang out? do you go on some sort of singles website? is it the first thought to try and get back with the girl who broke thier heart? i have not thought through my situation yet and what i want to do… anyone have any sweet nice ladies friends in the northern california who would like to talk to a big tall and ugly guy like me

As I get closer to home, several things start coming to mind about how I want to feel and the things in my life that are changed since I came over here nearly a year ago…

I do know I need to step it up a notch in the gym - while I have been lifting hard - something is not working to allow the fat to drop off me - Hmmm its frusterating when you lift and eat good and do the cardio and you feel like the changes in your body are minor…

I am sure I will figure it out , I know some things I can do another way to gain some good results… I might have to bite the bullet and start really running more (I Hate Running more than a Mile)

As I looking at myself today in the mirror (as I dried off) after my workout and shower, my eyes kept focusing on the extra weight around my midsection the lack of an abdominal 6 pack and other things in my body I want changed…

Then looking at some pictures, I can see several positives - like Arm size and definition starting, shoulders, traps and chest looking harder and more cut up, legs getting more defined…

Is it me or do we all focus on all the negatives and forget to ever look at the good things we are doing? Are we our own worst critics?

One month ago we are talking marriage while celebrating her birthday on a nice luxury trip

Today she tells me we are not compatable and breaks up with me

Ouch!!!! This Sucks

1. took yesterday and today off - I was just so tired from the last two convoys I had no energy…

2. they moved the pt test back - so more time to trim some of the weight around my midsection and build my neck

3. need to start doing sprints again…

4. fighting with my gf sucks… I wish she could see my heart sometimes and how much she means to me…

5. when we fight i lose energy also

6. I hate dealing with idiots when it comes to military items but it seems that the upper NCO ranks are filled with them these days

7. gonna add side planks and the front elbow thingie to my abdominal workout this week

8. my chest routine is getting killer - i keep burning out workout partners

9 I keep gaining weight - i am trying to lose it despite all of my cardio and diet stuff