Jumbo Rider’s BodyBlog

I don’t hate Mondays.  In fact Mondays come as a relief.  Now Sundays are a different story, especially if it is the end of a three day weekend.  It is not that I don’t like my job, or fear anything bad happening.  I really don’t know why my anxiety level rises on Sunday.  The anxiety builds as the day goes by.

Oh well, enough of that.

What else did I do with my Sunday?  Well, I cleaned out the refrigerator.   That was scary.  It was not as bad as it could have been and now it is clean and organized.  I took part in the organization.  The organization of the refrigerator started Saturday with a trip to Bed Bath and Beyond.

We went to BB&B looking for containers to use for produce and meat, but came up short.  We did pick up a great cutting board with a rubber strainer.  It is meant to be used over the sink and it actually fits.  The strainer is pretty cool because it collapses when it is not in use so the board can be stored flat.

I am changing my nutrition.  Actually, my nutrition is the same, but my recording is going to change.  I am going to follow this article. I will eat every three hours, making sure to have protein and veg/fruit.   Carbs outside of veggies and fruit will occur after a strenuous workout.  That’s it.  I will track calories, but in a looser fashion.

So, I get up at 5 and go to bed at 10.  17 hours so 5 meals and maybe a snack.  three meals at work and 3 meals at home.

• Wake up 5 am
• 1 hour walk
• eggs/serving of veggies/dry toast/apple for the ride into work
• 8 am almonds/carrots
• 11am tuna/serving of veggies
• 2pm protein drink/serving of veggies
• 5pm Grilled chicken salad
• lift
• 8pm Protein drink/yogurt with berries.

What do you guys think?

Nike screwed over the best training line there was by over using "just do it".   This is the biggest failure of most people my size.  Well, at least I know it is mine.  I can set up training schedules and plan my meals.  I can purchase treadmills, and weights.  I can get a membership to a gym and hire a a trainer.  But it is all a waste if I don’t just do it.

A friend from these boards reminds me to live in the now.  Now is the only time I can do anything.  If I spend my now always thinking about the future I do little in my now.  Just do it.  Right now.

Fall finally came to Missouri.  Monday we were in the 90’s and today we hit a high in the 60’s.  Each spring and each fall the temps flux and my body’s chemistry takes a beating.  A huge head cold and fever.  Dang.

I am still eating clean, but I am not watching calories while I am sick.  I am still going going to walk, but I am halving the intensity.  My lifting, light though it may be is placed on hold.

I married Cheryl when I was 20.  Translated, that means that I have never really been on my own in life.  Even when I was in the Army I had Uncle Sam.  My meals went from  "Mom, what’s for dinner?" to "Hun, what’s for dinner?"  What I know now is that my wife was an enabler of my bad food habits because of her love for me.

Even after knowing that I would change my ways and eat right I was reliant on my wife for 99% of my food.  The 1% was junk or fast food.  It led to me being able to punk out and blame her when there was not the right food available or when food was not ready when I needed it to be.  Funny, as my lard butt sat on the couch watching TV and Cheryl dutifully fixed dinner I never thought about what a wretched state I was in as I waited to be served.

Cheryl, I am not proud of being that slug.  I am not proud of taking your love for granted to the point of abusing that wonderful gift.

You see, as long as I failed to be responsible for myself 24 hours a day I would not succeed in this weight loss.  I know what my body needs and when it needs.  I can’t give a crap about what the family is eating or even when they eat.  I am on a righteous quest.  If the family eats pizza I still need to eat chicken.  I can’t wait for Cheryl to prepare that chicken.  I must take matters in my own hands.

This doesn’t mean that I will not eat dinner with the family or that Cheryl never cooks dinner.  It does mean that I am taking an active part in the planning and preparation of the meals I eat.   The food actually tastes much better because of the effort and I have one less place to blame for my own weakness and failure to eat properly.

The further I keep myself from the panning and preparation of my food, the further I keep myself from life.

I have been back on the wagon for two whole days.  Good food and hard exercise.  Well, hard for me.

Walking for an hour at 3 MPH and arms last night.  This was a tough day.  I am completely wiped.  My body was screaming for food .   I should have packed in more carbs in the morning meals.  As it was I had nothing good to eat at work and headed out to the grocery store.

I honestly felt like I bonked in the store.  I picked up some almonds, a protein bar and some black beans.  I am still zapped.

The bigger you are the more your clothes weigh, the more water can be retained, and ultimately the more the scale can swing.  I weighed in at the doctor’s office yesterday.  I hate doing that.  First the appointment was in the afternoon.  I weigh as much as 10 Lbs more in the afternoon than morning.  Next I weigh fully clothed.  Heck, my shoes weigh a good 3 pounds, and I have know idea how much the tent clothes on my back weigh.

In the end I come away with my conclusion.  The scale is a weak indicator of my health and physique.  No, I am not saying it lied and I am really a 240 Lbs Atlas.  I simply do not allow the numbers to phase me that much.  When it comes to the scale I look at things in 25 Lbs chunks.  Currently I am under 400 Lbs and over 375 Lbs.  That means that if I weigh in with everything against a good weigh-in I am still under 400.  If I see the scale shift from 376 yo 382…no big deal.  My next goal is to be between 350 and 375.  Then  as long as the number is below 375…no big deal.  That goal will be attained next week I am certain.

My eating habits have not been stellar.  You might have guessed that if you noticed that I weigh in at 376 Lbs.  What is worse than having poor eating habits is that I have poor communication with my own body.   What in the world do you  mean?

I don’t know when or if I am hungry or thirsty.  I don’t know if a craving is simply because of an emotional want or a nutrient deficiency.  Today I ate three poached eggs and then went on a brisk, for me, one hour walk and drank a protein shake after the walk.  It has been more than an hour since the walk and I have eaten 2 small apples, but still feel wiped out.

Most of you out there would know if you needed to adjust your food intake based on your body needs in this situation.  I do not.  My Quaker Oats box in sitting in front of me now and I must determine weather to eat some of wait until my next meal.  Trying to change my ways, and being prone to the binge, I worry about this decision.  If I fail to adequately fuel my body I will be starving before my next meal and  tend to  eat too much as well
My solution:  Eat Mechanically.

I am a strict calorie counter and I do not allow grazing of food.   This is why I allow 6-7 meals a day.  Many of my meals are nothing more than a snack, but they are planned.  I will wait until my appropriate snack time and then consume my oats.

I can’t wait until I can listen to my body.

The Greek Thales is regarded as the first of the western philosophers.  His greatest contribution to philosophy was the idea that all that is in the universe is made up of a unifying “stuff”.  The Germans call this unifying “stuff” Urstoff.  As Thales watched cycles of change, life –death, he believed that there was a unifying measure behind the change.  Thales thought the Urstoff was water.

It does not matter that Thales was wrong.  What matters to my discussion here is that my weight loss/muscle build journey can be said to have its own Urstoff of water.  I don’t exactly understand the bio-chemistry behind the unifying water other than our bodies consist mostly of water, each cell needs water, etc.  Why is plain water so crucial?  I don’t know, but it is without a doubt.

You will notice that it has been a long time since my last post.  I fell off the wagon and then went back and ate the dang thing.  The wheels were a bit rubbery…da dum dum.  After the doctors visit today I found that I have gained back all of my weight, but my blood pressure was better.

Why did I fall off the wagon?  A bunch of different reasons led me to my current state.
•    Emotional Eating
•    Emotional Workouts (meaning I didn’t)
•    Poor Planning
•    Lack of Self-Sufficiency
•    Too Much Thinking, Not Enough Doing
I will talk about each in detail these next few days in a hope to help others like me that may be lurking out there.  The bottom line is that I am back and refocused.  I may have gained the weight back but I am still in better shape then when I first started.