JerseyShore’s BodyBlog

Morning all,  i was 356 pds, now im 200, 156 pounds gone!!!!!!!!!!!, and 50 more to go, ive been training hard,and toning up, switched up my routine for the month of February, im doing two hours of water "liquid cardio" on mondays, and wednesday, tuesdays, thursdays, fridays are gym floor time, cardio, and weights, saturday is MMA class, and sunday, i do stuff at home, what im still having a hell of a time with is, i still that cripple in the wheel chair, at 356 pds, at and a size 39, im 5ft 7, 3/4, (almost 5ft 8 lol), im now 200pds, and a size 16, my goal is 150 to 160, and a size 10, i have a really nice guy, i have been talking to, and im goingto lose him if i ready havent, because, i cant get past the "CRIPPLE FAT CHICK", he is in great shape,and a cop, he knows all about my back, and what i went through to walk again, and everything, and how my ex cheated ,and told me how used up, and ugly, and fat i was, that still in my head too, Chris tells my im the stongest person he has ever met, and i cant do anything, but i cant do the one thing, he asked me to do, and its driving me crazy, i cant step out of the box, i cant let the wall drop, i feel like a weak ass,when i look at me, im not at the weight, i want to be at yet, i see this monster, and i cant make it stop, how do i get her out of my head, and the old me back???, i was never like this untill, 22 aug2004, Im from the Jersey shore, we are ass kickers here lol, not weak and used up, this guys is handsome,and well built, and whats he want with me???, when does this stop?? when do i start to feel ike im worth something, sorry to vent on all you guys, but i just feel lost, and like ill never find me again,