Renga: Brickish

Training is going good, save for the dumping the weight lifting part of it. No time, and well, I don’t really bother focusing on it, especially after the workout that coach puts us through during normal classes, so i think I’ll be getting away without it for a while.

Progress is good. I got confused for being 150lbs today, which I think is a good thing. I haven’t been near a scale in over a month so I’ll just assume that I’m probably mid 160’s based on that. I don’t know where body fat is, nor waist size, nor do I truly care at the moment. I think just for record purposes I’ll

I was sick for about a week, and got over it finally, so I’m more or less just happy as a clam that I’m training again and not coughing up parts of my lungs. That’s a good thing. Plus, it seems that things are starting to click. I’m starting to be able to see when things are going south in a hurry, so I don’t get caught as much. Well, I’m still getting caught, but I’m able to put up a better fight cause I’m able to defend against them for longer.

Plus, the guy that’s been sort of coaching me during open mat, Stephen, says that I’m improving. So I’m pleased. I’m not sure what the deal is with me paying money to the school, but at this point, it seems to have become truly a moot point. On top of that, a few people are offering resources to me for training like books and such. I’m going to ask for some of the ones I heard are good next week so hopefully they’ll still be available to me for some time.

I’m behind on logs, whatever. I’m going to keep them up as I can, but the idea of doing them 100% on the dot every time because I don’t have the time. So yeah. When I get them.

Anyway I’ve gotten confident enough to start rolling with the other people.. I rather enjoy it, moreso than just straight up technique. I’m focusing for now on survival time and learning when I’m in trouble, which getting in a lot of it so far, yeah, I can say I’m beginning to learn that. I’m not entirely sure how to keep track of the movements, much less how to actually get to them. The only really identifiable positions I’ve been in have been Rubber Guard and Dogfight, and that’s about it.

I was going to write them down but I always forget my notebook that i had started in back in the dorm, so I don’t have it. So I should either do that or just make up my own names.

 Related: Soda’s down to five today, and I can tell. Can’t wait to get rid of it entirely.

OK, so here’s the quick stats:

Shadowbox: Worked transition to Hip tosses and suplex pummels, as well as transitions out of Orthodox to Southpaw where I’m comfortable. This will add a nice use of my thrust kicks to push back on the move back to my good side after a strong kick.  

Pushups: 30

V-Ups: 20

Flat Bench: 6×6x30 Hard at 3.

Yes, I’m working up slowly because I don’t want to kill myself with the whole five miles so as each weight day comes around, I’m adding to it slowly. Why there wasn’t one last Friday like there should have been was straight up busy and tired. Had to move Sensei again this past weekend on Monday, so that stunk.

 Joey (a friend of mine and my old Tae Kwon Do instructor) and I spent a good chunk of the weekend discussing my move to MMA. He wants to help me along, which I’m greatful for because his accupressure skills will come in handy in a corner, IMO. We keep joking about me putting the family back on the map with winning the UFC Lightweight Championship but that’s a long way off. Plus I doubt that I’ll be a lightweight. I think after everythings said and done, I’ll still be a Middleweight, but that will have to wait until later when I learn my Jiu Jitsu.

I’ve the striking portion of my evaluation tomorrow. If I didn’t note it, I’m working out of Dynamic Edge Martial Arts, and they do an evaluation process of incoming students to see where they start at. Joey doesn’t approve of the school and Sensei doesn’t care (Neither do I), so I’ll worry about that later. Figure I can get a base here and transfer if things don’t work out with at least some knowledge.

So I was thinking about what the numbers are. I’m not so great on the math and the assumptions by the internet may not be the greatest indication, but my goal is going to be numerically at 175 for the end of the school year at 10% bodyfat and a waist at or less than 32".

So, it’s going to have to be a cut to 160 again followed by a bulk back to 175 I guess. I only figure a cut because the way things are going to run for me this next semester school wise seems to lend itself for a cut first.

 Not that I know what the hell a cut is. Help? How does one go about it? I think I was on one last year, but wasn’t paying attention.

Anyway, the schedule’s looking like working out Monday Wednesday and Friday and doing Jiujitsu on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I may or may not sneak boxing in on Monday nights depending on my work schedule. I really don’t want to waste the momentum that I’ve built up through the summer. I don’t think it’ll get wasted by swapping to jiujitsu, but it probably won’t be the same if you know what I mean.

 So, here’s to becoming a Jiu-Jitsu major.

So I’ve done some work thinking about where I am and what i want to do. A lot about fighting and how I want to get to that point. A lot also about my physical goals, as I’m realizing that the two are really starting to go hand-in-hand.

This summer I’ve done Sanda boxing, which has been a BLAST. I wish I could find a Sanda instructor in Springfield to keep going with, but no luck. I guess I’ll have to settle for just plain old boxing. Through this, I’ve gotten a clearer idea of where my strengths lie. Ironically, in my strength, not my speed. I’m slow (still) but still can take a lot of punishment. After poking around through the UFC, I’ve kind of figured out what I want to do.

Flat out, I’m going to set my goal to be a walking 175 at 10-12% BF.  That means I’ll fight at 170 or 175 depending on the organization, which sets me looking at dropping 3" from my waist based on the measurement this morning and the past few days.

 I’m proud of myself for that, by the way. I didn’t think that I’d be keeping it off this well, nor that it’d be a lot better looking than it was. That and seeing this goofy-ass picture of myself that’s my profile picture is rather encouraging. I think I’ll hijack my brother’s camera so I can keep taking them.

 I’m accomplishing this in this way: No soda. Training as often and as much as possible. Getting into a lifting routine while at school. Getting into a cardio routine that I can keep at home. Watching what I eat and do it the way I’ve realized I do naturally with the numerous small meals when I’m hungry. Riding my bike everywhere I can, and pedaling the entire way. Take the stairs every time. No matter how embarassed, how stupid, how hurt, how tired, how stressed, how emo, how whatever: Don’t give up. 

If it backfires and I find myself back down in the 160’s again, to hell with it! I’ll just adjust and plan accordingly! I can change weight classes no problem! My power can hold out no matter where I am in weight.

Numerically, I figured out that most people my height are sitting in the 30-32" range for waist, and my number’s 32". I’ve done it before, and I was so close to having abs, I swear I could see them getting ready to pop out. I want that SO BAD. Not only because it shows that I’m dedicated, but that I have done something that I’ve always wanted.

 I’ve realized that I’ve always wanted my six pack. Really badly. It just so happens that with wanting to fight, the level of fitness happens to be close to that. Convienient, no?

 So it’ll happen. My goal is to be able to fight for my martial and biological families near the time that I graduate in late 2009. I want my parents to see who I’ve become, and my Sensei to eat his words.

 No shit. He says he wants to see it happen but doesn’t believe I can do it. He can bite me. I’m going to do it, and I’ll point at him from that cage with my hand raised and shout "I told you Mother F****! I CAN FIGHT!"

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on why it is that I’m pursuing a lot of things I’m going after. The degree I’m in, martial arts, my learning bass, everything, pretty much. Mostly because as my school career finally winds down (One and a half years left!) I’m beginning to try and do some cleaning so to speak of my hobbies. 

One that’s actually really high up on the "drop this" list is bodybuilding. I don’t think that I’m actually pursuing the right ends, which may explain the recent lack of motivation.  Though I still want to see my abs before 30 and avoid the health problems that plague my family’s natural tendancy to be obese, I feel that bodybuilding is the entirely wrong word for it.

What kind of brought this up is seeing the casting call for American Gladiators. Yeah, so I grew up watching it, and still try to get back from the Dojo in time to watch because I enjoy it, and like the fact that it is just as physically demanding as it has always been. I think that the idea of functioning muscle and fitness are more what I’m after than real weight loss and such. Simply put, I want to make an application for casting for Season 3.

Season 3 because in looking at the current application, the season casts in April and tapes in May, and there’s no way that between school, my work and the dojo that I’d actually be able to get ready that fast. Not to mention, I don’t presently have access to a video camera, so that puts a big stop on it right there because of a required video because I can’t make it to an open call.

So, though I still want to find a way to get a "Solid" look, I think that that will take a backseat to planning for American Gladiators. After all, by watching a whole season, I’m confident that even a Gokusai from my dojo could avoid more than a few of the things that the Gladiators toss out at people. They all move so very straight and we move so very circular. Plus, there’s no better time to apply the base concept of the monk and the bus to something.

Monk and the Bus: An American football player and a Shaolin monk are standing in front of a linebacker that is charging at them. Rather than try and take the linebacker down, the monk simply steps out of the way. The football player blocks and after the dust clears, looks like he got hit by a bus.

I’m just saying that with many of the contenders, they think just as linearly as the gladiators, and they usually get mauled by them because the gladiators are simply larger than the contenders. In theory, even against that hyper little ******* Evan that won Season 1, I should be able to just circle my way out of most of them.

 That is, saying, that I make it physically into the competition and am actually conditioned to the point where I can, well, you know, not hyperventilate mid-event. See? I’ve got work to do.

OK, so the cardio, I’ve found out what the issue was on the treadmill that went away when I shifted to the Elliptical. Apperantly, I’ve got knee problems of some sort. There’s some pain that runs straight down the center of my right knee when it’s in certain positions, and a general grinding feeling when I run. That explains why I didn’t like it. So I swapped to the elliptical/cross trainer because I can set it up to run like a bicycle, which I like. Granted, swinging my huge ass out behind me isn’t so great a view, but I could care less. Especially since I finally figured out how to use the book/magazine rack. Don’t know why, but that’s always evaded me. Either way, now I have an easy way to get myself to read everything I need to and get the cardio. Keep pedaling until i’ve read everything I need to read for the next day. Good system, and has worked out well so far.

Which I should mention that it has already dropped, along with another soda control attempt, has resulted in about a -3lb drop. Even if it is just a week, it’s still good results, and I intend to continue. I have also dropped my plans to pick up a second place to study because I’ve decided that I can’t afford it, nor can I really come up with a good reason beyond boredom. So, it’s off.

With the dojo at the moment though, I’m feeling a little… uncoupled? I don’t know. I don’t particularly like valentines day because every single relationship I’ve had has usually ended on a "Oh, we’re better as just friends" note or a realization I was dating someone who actually was insane, not just creatively insane.

Everyone, up to and including Sensei, has coupled up around me, leaving me entirely alone! Well, not alone, per se, but definitely without the usual access to people I have, namely, one on one. There’s my twin, my best friend, my friend Josh even managed to couple up from Iraq. Iraq. The sand trap, bummsville, ect. It’s enough to make someone’s head explode.

I don’t even know why it bothers me. I suppose it’s the inordinant amount of free time everyone else dating has caused. I mean, I can full clear most songs on Rock Band vocals now because of the time I’ve got doing nothing. (I should be in the Gym at least an hour of that, I know…) But, geez… I mean, how the hell much time can people spend latched onto each other?

Speaking of the gym though, I am kind of on the fence. I understand the correlation (and results) between increasing cardio, a good program and nutrition, but it’s rather hard to implement on a campus. I’ve done it before, but apperantly I’m having trouble pulling it off again. I need to find my old strength program from when I first started that had like a gazillion rowing motions in it. I like them, and they worked, so they stay, if I can find it.

So, I’m in the middle of another ferocious job hunt. Regardless of my habit of jumping jobs, I am continually able to land new ones with little to no trouble. I.E. I decided last Tuesday to drop the Content Specialist job, and switch up and I’m in the interview process right now, looking at either swallowing my personal ethics relating to my writing and staying at the Drury Website plus editing the school newspaper’s website, or becoming a research and office assistant in the Medival Studies department on campus and still doing the newspaper edit.

Switching means a $0.30 pay cut, but maintaining my ethics are worth far more than that. I personally seek to never reflect anything less than 90% of the truth in my writing. Even here where there are some exaggerations on my part just out of interest of readership, I’m still representing almost everything as accurately as possible with little addition or embellishment. Yes, the first post about bloodletting is true, though it’s actually done with really old red ink (Read: about 50 years) rather than our own blood.

Anyway, here’s the deal with the writing: I live across from several properties that the university owns in addition to my apartment complex and two others. I saw a student that I had written a very good, complimentary profile that made him sound almost perfect and a model student at that too. He was moonwalking drunk across ice in the middle of a road. Now, I normally consider this a normal college habit, but it still rang true: acting like this model student didn’t do anything wrong when I can see him do this is just… well, unethical. I can’t continue at a job that required me to do this. It’s actually really shamed me because as wel intentioned as everyone save for one is, I know that they all behave the same way, and whether or not it’s really a good idea to hold it against them, it’s a reflection on my ethics as a professional and reporting truth and facts. 

 That’s why I’m changing, and not to mention my boss is extremely strange. Even for me, she’s a little out there. Stacks styrofoam bowls and makes tops out of them and plays with them for one thing. Just… strange. I don’t like it, and there’s a lot of bad energy in the office that keeps making me feel terrible.

That leads me to the second part of this post: my progress concerns. In studying the "Jiggle Factor" of my body, I’ve realized that the fat in my body really is centered around and added exclusively to my stomach and butt, which explain the abnormally high body fat readings though I can still show definition through my upper chest and arms when flexed and in the morning after I wake up. In other words, I’m getting screwy results by my body’s own natural habits. Now that’s not saying that i’m really like 8% or something. That’s rediculous. It’s just that it’s gathering and not going anywhere. Which stresses again the earlier mention of cardio and restricting my diet to some more healty foods. So, now that I’ve studied what is wrong, I can fix it.

But it’s not going to work without a measure of progress. Part of my problem in the Arts and in my body work is that I’m seeking progress, but not seeing it. So I need to find reliable ways of measure. For the arts, I already have a plan. I’m going to request permission to dual-enroll at another Dojo or MMA Gym as a way of getting the progress measure of competition. I’m going to stop lifting weights, and focus on Cardio, which I believe will get me going again as I don’t feel the need for weights.

For one, being a physically strong person directly contradicts many of the motions of my family’s Arts, and for another, I can push my 300 lb roomate across the room on a stool with little resistance on carpet. I think I’ve got the strength I need. Now I just need to get rid of the fat to show that it’s really there.

So, i’ve officially reached my weight goal of 185! Whoo! Except… well, I didn’t exactly gain any muscle or anything worth noting. Just a lot of fat back around my stomach. *sigh* I’m back up from 32 inches to 35. Now, here’s the catch though, I’m a whole hell of a lot healthier 185 than I was at 171. I feel better, move faster, sleep better, and have, overall, seen improvement beyond what I thought I could ever have accomplished. 

 However, this does mean something, my body fat has skyrocketed back into the mid 10%’s, and that’s not a good thing. I was down to about 10% when I was at my best about a year and a half ago. I personally tag this on stress, the move to being a little more Daoist in my every day life, and a lot less in control.

 In an effort to kick start myself back into the right direction, I am, in conjunction with my friend’s vegitarian month of February, going to go without a lot of things that I normally do have. Namely, I’m gonna get out and try to get clean. So, for February, I am going to go without or with as little of the following:

1. Soda
2. Ice Cream
3. Sugars
4. Processed Food
5. condiments
6. Fast Food
7. Chocolate
8. Did I mention soda?

Yeah, Soda has, and I believe will always be, a stumbling block of mine. In the caffeene fuled hunt for a degree, it’s hard to pull some of the later nights without it. And good old Sam’s Cola is kind of my crack, embarassingly. I like it more than Coke and all other forms of soda, but it’s pretty crappy for my body. So when it’s gone, it’s all gone. Water, and my favorite, hot tea, will be the new way for me. Oh, and milk. Methinks 1% Chocolate is kind of cutting it close, but damn, it’s good and worked once before.

Seriously, with as much into martial arts as I am, I don’t go about downing as much tea as you’d think. I like it, but only really traditional teas, none of this orange-mango-infused-yuppie crap that goes on around campus. Green Tea and Black English Tea are pretty much it for me. So I’m going to drink more, and drink it more traditionally, without sugar. 

 The deal with that is kind of because my ceremony that I was talking about in the first post is coming up in two and a half weeks. And I have to fit back into a Gi that I haven’t worn for a while for it. It’s importance has actually doubled, come to think of it. Since last update, I have been named a Family Historian for the art, and have begun to work with Sensei. Part of my initiation now reiles on my ability to work with another Uchideshi and any further proof of the family that I may have. I’m not any further, though I do suspect that there is quite a bit that can be learned from Sensei’s father’s Flight Logs. If I ever see them again though. *shrugs* It’ll be rough, but hopefully, I’ll find them again.

 In other news, parents are still bugging me about depression. I still don’t believe that I’m still depressed, especially compared to a few years ago, but they still insist that I am. Meditation when I wake up seems to work for me because I’ve discovered my goal oriented-ness. Just simply thinking of what it is that I need to do today and the progress I’ve made towards my goals is a pretty good motivator. I intend to continue this. I really intend to.

So…I got the nerve to call Sensei out on something. Namely, our style’s history. It’s sketchy, and I’ll admit that it probably wasn’t a good idea, but I have a feeling that I did point out that my talents may just need a kick to get going in the right direction.

I sent him an e-mail last night detailing the fact that though I believe him on basis of techniques, I didn’t know that other people would ever believe him. Worse yet, I brought up a yahoo from his past that he really wanted to forget. Because he doesn’t want to think about it, I won’t repeat it. Just let it be known that he was hosed terribly in the exchange with said Yahoo.

I feel, lukewarm about this. On one hand, I did gain the respect of some fellow students. Conversely, I think I may have put my continuing at the dojo in jeopardy, or have gained Sensei’s respect finally. I don’t really know. I do know though that I feel substantially better now that I’m free of doubting the lineage.

He did hand me something: his own beginning record that he had written shortly after gaining his Sokeship, and permission to assist in continuing in an editorial role with the work. this is why I feel that I am better off than I was before this e-mail. He also wants me to help transcribe a book specifically about the mentality that the family uses, that of being a christian samurai. He… seemingly doesn’t want to really write the book, but was asked to.

 Anyway, to summarize, asking a question has made me even more intent on learning the arts, if for nothing else, but to continue to record the family’s history until I need pass them onto another person.