Dead on arrival.
A former coworker stopped by to visit my office on Friday. He left us weighing 375 lbs at 5′8" and had just joined weight watchers. When I heard the knock on my door, I turned around in my chair with a smile on my face, eager to see his transformation.
He was no longer 375 lbs. He was now 495 lbs. Taking up the whole width of my door frame he was unable to walk in, and had to turn sideways to do so. His weight and balance supported by cane, he walked slowly towards me. I know that proper etiquette would have demanded that I smile widely and ignore the pink elephant in the room, but I couldn’t do it. "Oh Jan," I said quietly. "I know," he replied just as quietly.
What followed what a slew of excuses which all boiled down to the same thing: laziness. Unable to find a job as an armed guard (because really, who in their right mind would hire a man who couldn’t perform his most basic job descriptions?), he settled for collecting a disability check and filing discrimination lawsuits. He attempted to mask his misery by painting a great picture of his life now: No work, no responsibilities, tv all day, and unlimited freedom. That last one did it for me. "Unlimited freedom? To do what? You can barely walk, you’re confined to your home, and you’re becoming a hermit. Jan, you’re not living. You’re dying."
In retrospect I realize I could’ve been a more tactful, but this is where everyone else’s tact had gotten him. He refused to take responsibility for himself, for his life, and I knew that there was great possibility that Jan would not make it through 2009. I saw my future in him, and if ever there was a need for a source of motivation I will forever have etched in my mind the resignation in his eyes. He had given up before starting.
My life is worth something. I will fight this with everything I have and I will become the person I’ve always wanted to be.
I just wish that Jan felt the same way.
January 11, 2009 at 7:26 pm
That makes it really hit home. Thanks for the story. Check out my blogs if you ever need that little kick in the butt.
January 13, 2009 at 10:07 am
Wow… I am glad you said what you said.. you did not give him an excuse to keep living the way he is! That is so sad and tragic.. he has given up on life.. maybe you should send this blog to him!
January 14, 2009 at 1:18 am
i think it varies from person to person, i mean the way they react to how people react to them, i’m sure it would have been easier for you to say you look ok or pretty much the same, that’s the safer and more politically correct way to get out of that type of a situation but you chose to tell it like it is, which is kinda refreshing for me because sometimes all we need is a frank evaluation of how we look in the eyes of someone apart from ourselves, my dad used to say we were not fat and just heavy-boned, perhaps that was meant to motivate me but in reality it just made me complacent, i wish somebody told me like it is too so i would not have to go through the tough time that i did but looking back, it’s all good, i realized the truth early enough to be able to change it and get my life back, i’m worried about the others who upto now still don’t see the real picture, those who live in denial and refuse to accept what they really are, i believe you have to admit that you are sick before a doctor can help you get well, problem is, most people think there’s nothing wrong with them so why change in the first place? i think what you gave Jan is something that should be prescribed to a lot of people today, it’s called the truth - and like revenge, it is best served COLD. Peace and good luck on all your fitness endeavors!
March 1, 2009 at 10:33 am
Girl, if that isn’t motivation, I don’t know what is. Just keep him in prayer, maybe a light bulb will go off in his head; eventually.