Old Friend, You’re Fat, and New Goals
A belated Happy Canada day to all my Canadian friends! I am so very PROUD to be Canadian. 
Today was my second time being back at the gym since I got back last week. It took me several days to work up the nerve to go to the gym as that is where I frequently see the person who is no longer my friend. I knew it was going to be awkward, and I was dreading it horribly. 
After my email, she replied back, asking what she could do to change so we could remain friends, and I replied, saying that it wasn’t a matter of what she could do. After all, she is who she is… and you don’t become friends with a person with the intention of trying to change them. That would certainly not be my place - and I could not stand seeing her live her life like that. I have since found out that she has some residual damage from a car accident that happened to her in her teenage years, and it has affected the way that she processes information and her understanding of people/situations. For instance. This guy text messaged her a while ago, and wrote a very disturbing, violent message to her. It creeped the fcuk out of me. Honestly. I got goosebumps when I read it because it freaked me out so badly. I told her, "L, that’s REALLY messed up." And she replied, "I KNOW! He can be kind of strange sometimes!!", and she giggled.
Umm.
Folks, the text message was about some violent fantasy he had of commiting rape. With a VERY underaged child they saw in a mall.
WTFWTFWTFWTFWTF.
But L doesn’t get how f*cked up it is to even THINK about stuff like that, let alone vocalize these thoughts to another human. She is dating this gem as we speak.
Sooo. Yes. Her understanding of people, nonverbal cues, and situations is impaired. Since I found out about her limitations in perceptions, I briefly toyed with the idea of letting her into my life again, if only because she is at SUCH a disadvantage with people (namely men). But the idea was short-lived as I knew I could not keep trying to help someone who Will not and CANNOT understand people. When I have said something like, "DUMP THAT LOSER! Don’t even talk to him!!!", to L about the shining example of humanity from above, she does not think I am being fair. She even implied I was saying those things because I was jealous of her. *Sigh*. I am SO sad for her.
Ahhhhhhh. Deep Breath. But life will go on. So today was back at the gym! I worked out and saw this one lady I see several times a week. She has a very thick Vietnamese accent, and after she stared at me for a bit, she blurts out, "You got a bit fat!". This person who was changing close to us overheard the comment and gasped a bit. LOL. She very discreetly turned away but I knew she was craning to hear what I would have to say to such a direct comment. The truth is I did gain a few pounds over my trip, (and 2 pounds even before the trip!), so she was not telling me anything I didn’t already know. I know how the pounds got there, and I know how to take them off! LOL. So I looked at her, smiled, and said, "I think I look wonderful!". I truly do! My body is healthy, strong, and even though I am a few pounds heavier than where I would like to be ideally, I still look great! She looked surprised at my response, and seemed to be at a loss for what to say to me, so she turned away and got back to her things. The lady who was eavesdropping had finished changing by then and was getting ready to leave. But as she walked past me, she gave me a big smile. I returned her smile. And it reminded me to get a move on with my goals!!!!
So for July, I will be at the gym at least 22 times. 2 down, 20 to go! I will have no cheat meals for the first half of July, and will have one cheat meal every week thereafter. I will post a progress picture that includes my abnominal area (the true marker of my progress!) no later than August… er… 30th. LMAO!! 
Yay! It’s going to be a good month!
And while I said goodbye to a new friendship, I have met another two ladies who make me believe that it really *is* going to be okay. 
Life is good.
Edited to add! I JUST started REDuction yesterday, in response to the rave reviews that Laurie and some others have had to it! It was a bit bizarre though - I had trouble sleeping yesterday and normally, I never have a problem. Weeeeeeeird, especially since others have reported sleeping like a BABY while taking it! No REDuction in my enormous, man-like appetite, though. Let’s see how this goes!
July 2, 2008 at 11:58 am
Lmao! Good for you for not letting the fat comment get to you. And as for your friend….DAMN! Let that one go. I’m warped but not quite that warped.
Have you started the REDuction yet?
July 2, 2008 at 8:48 pm
OMG. Looks like you did the right thing cutting the cord with that one. That is seriously ****ed up.
I think the "you got a bit fat" comment is some jealousy rearing its ugly head. That was perfect how you handled it!
July 2, 2008 at 9:06 pm
LMAO JJanet. You always put a smile on my face, (even when you are rambling a bit, no make that ESPECIALLY when you ramble) you are like a hyper teenager. You are so cute. NOW, as far as the friend thing, I might even find some way of having the cops check that guys back ground, f@^%#g perv weirdo, I’de castrate him if I knew who he was. If he is saying things like that ALOUD he may be DOING even worse. F*&^%*g bastard. The friend, she sounds like she needs professional help. The fat thingy, OMG you are SO NOT FAT, but my daughter-in-law is Vietnamese and the women in her family have a thing about being bone skinny and pale as a ghost so 1 or 2 lbs and they are telling her she is fat. It is so ridiculous. She weighs 99 lbs.FAT, WHATEVER. Glad you are back in the groove. Why are you taking reduction? Sweetie, you are beautiful, you don’t need to reduce ANYTHING. ok, so that was my rant for the night, now I feel tired, lol. Take care girl. Peace, C
July 3, 2008 at 3:46 am
Hi there Cutie!
I love the way you handled the fat comment!
You are showing your confidence and it suits you perfectly!
July 3, 2008 at 4:18 am
You are way too nice! I would have replied, " I may be fat but you are ugly, and I can always lose weight." Every once in a while you have to resort to those third grade comebacks!!! You look good
July 3, 2008 at 12:59 pm
OMG, I agree about a background check on that perv… Scary!! Isn’t this the same "L" who was trying to be like you and find a guy with your help? EEK. As for the comment - WOW, I don’t think I would have responded like that in a million years… maybe "Yes, I was on vacation" but "I think I look wonderful" would never have come to mind!! GOOD FOR YOU! Way to leave her speechless HAHA! Hope you have a great weekend!!
July 4, 2008 at 6:10 am
Scary text from that guy to be sure…and as if that wasn’t bad enough…it does appear he has absolutley no respect for the woman at all by sending her that text. bad news. but, alas, as you said- deep breath! Love how you handled the gain weight comment- that is awesome…that is light overcoming dark….positive energy moving over negative energy….keep bringing it sister!!! As for July- rock on- the plan sounds good, aggressive, and dialed in!!! I can’t wait to hear about your progess- I will use it as motivation to pull my butt out of bed at 5:30 for workouts!
July 5, 2008 at 6:20 am
The other day I was also changing in front of some older Vietnamese lady. Although, this was on the bus. She too commented that I was looking a little heavier. However, the bus driver and Teddy the crackhead said I was looking "mad tight". I gotta stop changing on the bus.
July 5, 2008 at 7:57 am
Wow for the guy I am with the others have that sicko checked out. Lets say that was some kind of sick twisted joke he still needs to be probed for just saying some sick crap like that.
For the lady you can always find a way to make me laugh. You handled it allot better than me. I would have done one of two things made rude comment or started crying instantly and go into a story on how I just can’t lose weight and it all stems back to some traumatic story about my parents or sibling. If you want to screw someone’s mind up I use this technique allot it really screws their minds up.
You look great JJ looking forward to your progress pics what is the next one going to be of your toe or kneecap or something. haha
July 5, 2008 at 9:30 am
You are very right that you cannot change people. And you can’t have a valid friendship based on sympathy alone. Yes, your ex-friend has some serious issues. Low self-esteem? I would guess big time. Sounds like maybe some frontal lobe damage as well? Very sad. But you are only in control of what you allow into your own life. You cannot save the world with kindness. From the sound of your post, I think you already know all this. PS…If there is any way this girl, damaged or not, will ever see that there is something very extremely wrong with that text message,…losing your friendship should be the first gigantic clue!
July 5, 2008 at 10:34 am
It sounds like you’re better off without that girl in your life. I hope she is able to get some counseling/therapy because it sounds like she could benefit. Way to tell that woman in the locker room! Seeing your pictures you do look wonderful!! Keep up your hard work!
July 6, 2008 at 6:33 am
WAY TO HANDLE THE FAT COMMENT!! That was totally awesome and the perfect thing to say! Hahaha *virtual high five*
About L and that guy—EEK! She should show that txt to the authorities, for sure, but like you said, you can’t make her and if she doesn’t understand the implications…eeek. Deep breath, for sure.
Take care, and keep smiling!!
July 6, 2008 at 11:23 am
Great attitude with the fat comment, you are very classy and postive. Not many people would have responded so well.
O’ and definitely the right call in riding your life of "L", her man and her need a lot more help then you can give.
Glad you made some new friends after all that. Take care and good luck with your July goals!
July 8, 2008 at 11:35 am
Okay JJanet,
Do me a favor and and quit whatever job you have and get into show business. You could be the next female ‘Dr. Phil’. Your blogs are incredibly in dept and interesting to say the least. And the way you handle your social situations is sooo ‘the-way-you’re-supposed-to’ to the point where many can learn just from reading your posts.
If not a ‘Dr. Phil’ type of show, a reality show would be just as interesting. I can already imagine it; ‘The Life of Janet’.
Anyway, good luck with your July plans and
GREAT BLOG!!