I miss my gals!
So here’s yet another post from me that has nothing to do about training or nutrition. 
I realized something really important yesterday. Ever since I got back from my quick break with my friends, I have been so outrageously lonely for my female friends! 
Seeing my buddy, especially the female one, made me truly miss having a close friend around. Among my female friends, I have four that I would consider the type of friend I would call up if I was feeling down. Two of them live in Canada, one moved to the U.K last fall, and the other lives here, but is a busy mommy of two. Lately, the only people I have been around are all male. Which is fine and all, but. Seriously. When you want to get out a good noisy vent, and just talk for the sake of being heard, sometimes, men just can’t suit this role as well as women can. Sometimes they do, but in my experience, many of the men who listen want so much to help you that they just can’t resist offering you a solution to your ‘problem’.
It’s like that scene from White Men Can’t Jump.
Woman: I’m so thirsty.
Man: (Goes and gets her a glass of water)
Woman: When I said I was thirsty, it doesn’t mean I want a glass of water. You’re missing the whole point of me saying I’m thirsty. If I have a problem, you’re not supposed to solve it. Men always make the mistake
of thinking they can solve a woman’s problem. It makes them feel omnipotent.It’s a way of controlling a woman.
Man: By bringing them a glass of water??!!
LMAO!!!!!!!! Truly, I don’t think it’s a matter of control. I just think that among the men I have met, they seem to have a tough time listening to a problem without offering a solution about how to fix it. 
And you can bet that when I have a problem that I am actively working to solve, the first person I usually ask is male.
But I miss my gals. I have not been terribly successful in forging new, female friendships in this city, despite the fact that I have been here for over 4 years. I am actively working on being more friendly and making my mannerisms more inviting and open, but so far, it has only attracted more men. Any advice on how to make more (female) friends?
April 29, 2008 at 4:23 pm
It’s hard. I’m the same way. I have mostly male friends but I made a good friend at the gym. She has a twin sister so that automatically gives me 2 new friends. lol I think it’s alot harder to make female friends especially as emotional as they (females) are.
I made a new friend this weekend at the bar. We were both dating the same guy (he’s the bouncer there). Lol, she apparently thought she was his one and only. So now we’ve become friends….lol.
April 29, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Alright JJanet,
This is how you solve your friend problem: (j/k)
If your mannerisms are anywhere close to how you communicate on this website, you don’t have to change them.
You seem like a charitable person,…why don’t you try joining an athlete oriented charity organization like team in training? TNT is made up of around 90% women. My buddy is a race director and she got me into the Nike Women’s Marathon in SF. It was the best smelling race start I had ever witnessed; this race start smelled more like bath and bodyworks while all the other marathon starts I’ve ever experienced smelled like pre-race-sour-power-armpit. There were over 18,000 women running that day.
Anyway, that’s my suggestion,…hope it helps!
DAVE
April 29, 2008 at 4:39 pm
…forgot to mention,…the women’s marathon is a TNT event.
April 29, 2008 at 5:49 pm
I ran that marathon last year! But our group didn’t get chosen this year
It’s not TNT, though, but Nike’s event, though TNT had a huge group participating in it… it’s kinda cool when you get a Tiffany’s necklace in the end! 
Hrm, a lot of my close girlfriends I met in college, but after college I either met them through my guy friends (they would date my guy friends, we’d become friends, and I’d still be friends with the chicks if they broke up lol), work, at bars/clubs (funny conversations often occur when you’re doing the ‘have to pee NOW’ dance!), or at the gym. Actually, I would probably say that I met most of my chick friends in the locker room since I see them everyday and we just talk about random stuff from guys to hiking, though I’ve known most of them for 3-5+ years now! Point being - just smile and strike up a conversation, and whatever cultivates, cultivates
April 30, 2008 at 2:46 am
ooohhh…I think I can fix this! LOL. I am trying to get my boobs to grow bigger…would that help? LOL!! I understand your situation though I am not a woman, Sometimes it’s just good to be with the guys! Your post did make me think about how I "listen". Will keep that in mind!!
April 30, 2008 at 3:17 am
Unfortunalty i think thats how men are wired, to solve things. I am sure you do have more male friends, you are HOT : ) but you already know this : )
April 30, 2008 at 4:01 am
I agree with Carlalton - it’s how men are wired. We want to fix things, be it a toaster or the life of a friend.
As for finding friends, I think you already know how to do that. You’re a witty, intelligent young woman. Just be you and do the things you like to do.
April 30, 2008 at 4:13 am
Yeah what CapitolJay said. Just be you. You seem like a very outgoing person and I don’t see how you would ever have a heard time finding friends male or female.
April 30, 2008 at 7:52 am
I hear ya! I love my guy friends, and they’re quite dear to me, but sometimes a good vent and a "please just listen; don’t offer a solution" or better yet "fuel the fire please" that only another female can do is necessary. Females can be super catty, but my good female friend (aka my boss LOL) is just as tomboyish as I am so it works. Actually, our male senior tech is more girlie than us and our staff pharmacist combined LOL I basically suck at finding good girl friends–hubby’s girl friends are better friends with me than I am with my girl friends. Umm…Advice, right. That was the point. Try being friends with your guy friend’s girlfriends.
April 30, 2008 at 1:18 pm
After 14 years of marriage… I must answer this post in my most common way….. YES DEAR! Okay now really not knowing what your saying…. I find this is always a safe answer if I would like to get lucky later….lmao My wife gets some cool stuff when she knows my mind is somewhere else…lmao I think your a very likable person….. when you decide to let the ladies in….. they will come! You Just keep Rocking Rock Star!
Real Men Have Mass!
April 30, 2008 at 2:23 pm
I also have the same problem! Many men friends and very few close women friends. I find that women are just VERY busy in their lives and sometimes just dont have time. (like your new mom friend) or they get jealous over little stuff (ive done that too…so I understand…but it makes it harder to strive for friendship)…I can honestly say the little place I live in now is THE LONELIEST place I have ever experienced! And I cannot wait to move to Texas!
One thing I will say for having guy friends….they do offer insight on men…which is GREAT! Cause while i’m great and short term fun relationships…i seem to only find the guys that just want that! lol. SO…still trying to find out answers on what really makes a guy tick and what makes them go the distance! lol
April 30, 2008 at 5:04 pm
I’m sorry. Were you saying something?
April 30, 2008 at 7:44 pm
This post cracked me up. Last night I read a blog entry of a friend of mine with a problem and I swear I spent a half an hour searching online for a fix. Guess I’m a guy!
May 2, 2008 at 5:41 pm
I’d think the problem you need to solve is how to FIND potential new friends, I think you would have no problem making friends once you’ve found them. Have any interests? (besides working out and blogging, both awesome btw). I’d suggest checking out a book club or even taking a dance class (like ballet or jazz).
May 6, 2008 at 10:01 am
Here are a couple of "guy solutions" to your girlfriend problem. HIgh Involvement: Pick a charitable cause and volunteer. Women are generally more giving and caring, so most of the people you work with will be women. Low involvement: Linger in the produce section at the health food/grocery store and chat passionately with strangers about your favorite fruit or veggie. I’ve got a mango schtick that is good for at least 10 minutes of ice breaking conversation. Of course only women and gay guys seem to be interested in hearing it. I don’t mind. I love mangoes. : )