JJanet

My body loves all this keto food! My skin is SO clear, my hair is SO shiny and smooth… I am just in awe of how my body is responding to the change in my diet! As a bit of an experiment, I am seeing how my body responds to intermittent fasting (IF). What I am doing is just having my evening meal between 6-8, and fasting until the next evening. Because the keto foods are so calorie dense, I am able to eat my daily calories (minus small deficit) within that short time period. This is day 3, and here are some pros and cons that I have experienced so far:

PROS:

- REDUCED HUNGER! I am SO much less hungry having one meal a day as opposed to the 4-6 I would have on an average day! If I ever missed one of my smaller, more frequent meals, I would turn into a raging, angry beast! So I never thought this sort of eating would be sustainable, but the lack of hunger is nothing short of a miracle!

- The prep work!! OMG!!! The dishes, pans, pots, tupperware, cooking, cleaning… SLASHED! I LOVE IT!

CONS:

- I get dizzy when I stand up too quickly - I have always had this problem, but it seems to be a greater issue with the fasting.

- I don’t eat as many veggies as I would like (2 cups/day versus 6 cups) because of their volume to calorie ratio. I am thinking of cooking up my spinach so it’s not quite as filling. Anyone have a good spinach recipe for me?

That’s it for now. I am planning on doing IF for the next 3.5 weeks. Whenever I have a social obligation, I will move the eating window to whenever the event takes place! I’m interested to see how my body composition and strength responds to these changes in eating windows, as well as the Keto.

I am supplementing with the following:

- Xtend

- Orange Triad Multivitamin/Joint Support/Digestive Enzymes

- Fish Oil

- Krill Oil

If anyone has ever experiemented with IF, I would love to hear about your experience, both positive and negative!

HIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!! Life kept me on my toes for the past little while. I had to really prioritize my life and decide what I could expend my energy on, and with how completely ADDICTING I find this site, I had to cut it from my list. But I missed it and missed YOU (you know who you guys are! *big awkward asian hug*). I will try and peek in on your lives.

I must renege on a goal I had previously stated I would do at the end of August - the one about putting up a full progress picture. LOL. Yes yes, roll your eyes at me. I haven’t pushed myself hard enough in my workouts, and when I look at myself, I do NOT see progress. So NO PROGRESS PICTURE! But, I am making some changes so I can expect different results! I am doing a keto (SKD) style diet right now. The macro breakdown of this diet is 65f/30p/5c. Mine is slightly modified to allow for more cruciferous vegetables, so it’s more like 60f/25f/15c. My carb sources are spinach, green beans, brocolli, and the minimal amounts from eggs, hard/soft cheeses, and other miscellaneous contributors.

It’s been 10 days since I started this diet, and I LOVE IT!!!!!!! I have TONS of energy! I don’t crave carbs at ALL! Which is a HUGE thing for me because words cannot describe how much I simply ADORE my CHO’s! I am also finding it MUCH easier to eat socially  without feeling like a leper. WOOHOO! I will be eating this way at least until the end of October - possibly longer depending on how I feel. Some people do carb-ups on this diet (12-36 hour period where you fill up on carbs). I’m still on the fence about this, so until I see a ‘need’ for it, I’m just going to continue with the macros that I have. Sooooo… maybe a progress picture at the end of October. Maybe I’ll have actual PROGRESS to show by then!

I’d love to hear from anyone who has also gone through a similar type of diet and what sorts of results/experiences they had!

I am stressed right now. I want to eat emotionally to comfort myself tonight. Is there a way to eat emotionally in a healthy way? Or is it always unhealthy to emotionally eat?

I don’t want to blog about the particular reasons I am stressed. They won’t make sense here and will require more explanation than I am willing to give. But. I’m stressed. I know this moment will pass, and I’ll be over this issue in the future, but it just really sucks right now.

A belated Happy Canada day to all my Canadian friends! I am so very PROUD to be Canadian.

Today was my second time being back at the gym since I got back last week. It took me several days to work up the nerve to go to the gym as that is where I frequently see the person who is no longer my friend. I knew it was going to be awkward, and I was dreading it horribly. After my email, she replied back, asking what she could do to change so we could remain friends, and I replied, saying that it wasn’t a matter of what she could do. After all, she is who she is… and you don’t become friends with a person with the intention of trying to change them. That would certainly not be my place - and I could not stand seeing her live her life like that. I have since found out that she has some residual damage from a car accident that happened to her in her teenage years, and it has affected the way that she processes information and her understanding of people/situations. For instance. This guy text messaged her a while ago, and wrote a very disturbing, violent message to her. It creeped the fcuk out of me. Honestly. I got goosebumps when I read it because it freaked me out so badly. I told her, "L, that’s REALLY messed up." And she replied, "I KNOW! He can be kind of strange sometimes!!", and she giggled.

Umm.

Folks, the text message was about some violent fantasy he had of commiting rape. With a VERY underaged child they saw in a mall.

WTFWTFWTFWTFWTF.

But L doesn’t get how f*cked up it is to even THINK about stuff like that, let alone vocalize these thoughts to another human. She is dating this gem as we speak.

Sooo. Yes. Her understanding of people, nonverbal cues, and situations is impaired. Since I found out about her limitations in perceptions, I briefly toyed with the idea of letting her into my life again, if only because she is at SUCH a disadvantage with people (namely men). But the idea was short-lived as I knew I could not keep trying to help someone who Will not and CANNOT understand people. When I have said something like, "DUMP THAT LOSER! Don’t even talk to him!!!", to L about the shining example of humanity from above, she does not think I am being fair. She even implied I was saying those things because I was jealous of her. *Sigh*. I am SO sad for her.

Ahhhhhhh. Deep Breath. But life will go on. So today was back at the gym! I worked out and saw this one lady I see several times a week. She has a very thick Vietnamese accent, and after she stared at me for a bit, she blurts out, "You got a bit fat!". This person who was changing close to us overheard the comment and gasped a bit. LOL. She very discreetly turned away but I knew she was craning to hear what I would have to say to such a direct comment. The truth is I did gain a few pounds over my trip, (and 2 pounds even before the trip!), so she was not telling me anything I didn’t already know. I know how the pounds got there, and I know how to take them off! LOL. So I looked at her, smiled, and said, "I think I look wonderful!". I truly do! My body is healthy, strong, and even though I am a few pounds heavier than where I would like to be ideally, I still look great! She looked surprised at my response, and seemed to be at a loss for what to say to me, so she turned away and got back to her things. The lady who was eavesdropping had finished changing by then and was getting ready to leave. But as she walked past me, she gave me a big smile. I returned her smile. And it reminded me to get a move on with my goals!!!!

So for July, I will be at the gym at least 22 times. 2 down, 20 to go! I will have no cheat meals for the first half of July, and will have one cheat meal every week thereafter. I will post a progress picture that includes my abnominal area (the true marker of my progress!) no later than August… er… 30th. LMAO!! Yay! It’s going to be a good month!

And while I said goodbye to a new friendship, I have met another two ladies who make me believe that it really *is* going to be okay. Life is good.

Edited to add! I JUST started REDuction yesterday, in response to the rave reviews that Laurie and some others have had to it! It was a bit bizarre though - I had trouble sleeping yesterday and normally, I never have a problem. Weeeeeeeird, especially since others have reported sleeping like a BABY while taking it! No REDuction in my enormous, man-like appetite, though. Let’s see how this goes!

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?p=184616351#post184616351

Check out this contest!! As far as I’m concerned, they’re ALL winners for making and posting a video clip of themselves like that! But I am rooting for one meanie in particular.

Some people are just plain toxic. My bro-in-law does stupid, thoughtless crap sometimes, but he is not toxic - just stubborn. Like… even though I can’t stand him right now, if my world completely collapsed from underneath me tomorrow, he would be there for me to help me pick up the pieces. Stupid ass that he is. He’s still my bro and I still love him.

But two weeks ago, I had the sneaking suspicion that one of my burgeoning new friendships were toxic. I asked for feedback from some people, and their opinion was that I should let it ride out and see what happened. So I agreed and I sort of sat back and let it play out to see how things would turn out. My gut instinct was right, and yesterday, things were unmistakably clear that it was a TOXIC RELATIONSHIP. So this morning, I had to tell her I would not be her friend. It was such a hard email to write. I tried to tell her in person yesterday, but she wasn’t listening to me, so I wrote her an email which was very explicit that I could not be her friend.

The unreasonable part of my brain tells me that I am mean, horrible, cruel, insensitive and lack compassion for choosing to be out of her life. The rational part of my brain consoles me and tells me that it’s okay, that I need to look out for my own emotional health FIRST, and that being posioned by her would not do anyone any good. So I did it.

I squashed the friendship I was so unbelievably happy about discovering not even a month ago. It’s been a sad day, but also a good one. A part of me grew up again.

Okay, I’m a big cheater. :p I don’t want to take a full progress shot! And I don’t think I want to take it in a week, either! I look pretty much like that last bikini shot I took in April. I cannot BEAR to call it ‘progress’ when it is more of a ‘regress’! LOL!!!! So I cheated. Here’s my quad.

My sister and brother in law responded. And while it’s probably better in the long run to have this all out in the open, I am pretty miserable right now. SO! I refused to spend the day feeling sorry for myself. I am still not happy about things, but I know this is one of those matters where I need to sit back, and let things ride out as the only person I can control in this situation is myself.

So what’s a girl to do when miserable?

SHOP! My newest bud and I went SHOPPING!!!!! She’s sort of funny. She always compliments my clothes, and has commented that I need to take her shopping and give her fashion advice, so we finally made it out today. It a tough experience trying to dress someone else! I almost never try on my clothes - I’ll just look at it (online or in the store), and know if I’ll like the way it looks on me or not. But her body is so different from my own. She said she wanted to dress like me, so I picked out things I would pick out for myself - but they didn’t suit her frame, so it was a bit frustrating for her. She was feeling discouraged. She also said she felt really fat. She is completely babalicious and FAR from fat - but the clothes that I picked for her to try on were not flattering. I felt horrible!! Eek! So we took a break, and got some coffee. On our way out of Border’s, we entered this drawing for some silly contest. The guy who was running the stand was really cute, and L was sooooooo into him. LOL!! It was so cute. So we stayed there for a bit, and I was trying to get the conversation flowing since she was acting all shy and cute around him, and as we were leaving the store, I was like, "YOU LIKED HIM, didn’t you?! Go ask him out!". She giggled and said he was soooooooo cute, but she was too shy. So I asked if she’d be okay with me asking for his number, and she agreed, albeit a bit reluctantly. So I went in there, and he seemed thrilled by my question! I ran outside to L, waving the piece of paper out like a victory flag, and we giggled until our sides hurt. So although shopping wasn’t altogether succesful, it was still a good day.

9 more days. I can do this.

My forearm is getting that tell-tale hollowed out look when I am leaning out. Yay? I wish it would take the fat off of my STOMACH instead of my already skinny forearms. LOL! I am only a few pounds away from when I was my leanest in early April, but it definitely looks different this time around. I thought I added some muscle to my frame so I was anticipating looking more musclar at a slightly higher weight, but for some reason, it looks like I have even LESS than I did that first time! I see this particularly in my abs. Eh. I’m not going to worry too much about it because I know I am eating right, I geared my workouts towards leaning out, and all other areas of fitness are in line with my goals, so onwards I go! No room for hesitations or second guessing now!

I did something really tough yesterday. I wrote an email to my sister and brother in law, and aired out some of my grievances with them that I had been keeping in for a few years. It was sooooo hard to press the send button. But send it, I did. And I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. That is, until I saw their reply this morning. It was something along the lines of, "We got your email. We are thinking of how to respond to you. Later."

Ugggh. That was SO not the response I was hoping for. This is my first real confrontation with my family, and I feel SO much anxiety over it, it’s not even funny!!! I am crossing my fingers that a week from now, I will look back on this and think of how awesome it was for me to do something that is so out of my comfort zone. I wish it was next week already, and I could be away from all this tension…

Can anyone relate to This girl?

Me neither.