Linda Cusmano ‘OUT FOR BLOOD 2011′

I also forgot to add that I have had that beet soup I made 2 days ago for both meals yesterday and the day before and its only got one beet, its got loads of kale, garlic and broccoli too!
I got some fresh raw hazelnuts / almonds so I am set, and just grabbed some ginger and a brown rice bread, which is gluten free but not sprouted……but don’t think rice is sprouted anyway so I should be safe, all the other sprouted breads were wheat….which I don’t think is a huge deal for me, if I am sensitive its not something obvious to me. But wheat is not suggested on cleanses so…..sprouted or not, I went with brown rice bread.
I really need to figure out how to cook millet, made it once in a recipe and it turned out gloppy, I wanted to eat it like rice, grainy, so I am going to try cooking it alone and see if I can get it to be more like rice rather than risotto or porridge.
I grabbed some collards too, or chard, for a recipe I got for stirfried collards…..I may have that for lunch, I am a bit late today with meals cuz of my tum, had massage today too which helps, but anyway, am home most of today until I go to the judging meeting hence my many posts to catch up and clarify.
I may try that power 8 juice or whatever its called for my last juice today, super 8, I am not looking at my sheet but its there.
Linda

So after a rest, I am training again and refreshed. I don’t get those nasty rebound effects that you read about, I had energy the day of, next day and every day after that. Mentally I was very tired though and am now more determined to come in peaked out better than ever for next year! I was inspired by the judges choices for 2nd and 3rd place.
Of course I want first but the gal who got first is much more muscular than I want to be. I know I felt that if I were not to make top 5 next year I would dabble but you know, I don’t want to win THAT BAD. Honestly, I want to win naturally, so its my way or no way.
I KNOW if I dabbled, I would be impossible to beat, I mean for a natural girl to go up against non natural girls - that already makes you strong but for a natural girl to win over non natural girls would be the ultimate challenge and ultimate victory! For me to cave in would not be ME. I am too strong minded and it’s not the first show I have come back from and felt pressured to use enhancements to better my game BUT…..who is pressuring me? They did not tell me to do this, the girls did not tell me to do that, and they do what they want and I don’t tell them what to do so if the judges want an enhanced look then so be it, I have to compete at peace with this factor……so the learning continues.

So forward:
Here is my phase 1 plan!

http://www.members.shaw.ca/Italianangel/Phase1DietPlan808.pdf
http://www.members.shaw.ca/Italianangel/Phase1TrainingPlan808.pdf

I started this plan yesterday.

Tuesday August 19, 08
I had beet soup for my lunch, split pea for dinner and ended up having 1/2 cup sprouted beans with a celery rib chopped, 1/4 cup fresh blueberries, 2 tbs mct oil and 2 tbs apple cider vinegar and cheyenne pepper plus some garlic onion ms dash and lastly some sea salt. I have to get the himilayan one its pink, my acu says its better for me.
I also had some raw bars, sweet ones with nuts n fruits n carob. They are so yummy but expensive. $20 for 4 bars n 2 balls.
I had no almonds around so these are a good exchange.

I forgot my workout plan at home so I ended up doing pullups and chins, not lat pull nor hypers. I did a low back machine they ave which you sit in and push back….my back was sore. We are still doing renos, its a big old home and it sucks money….but anyway, we had to move our treadmill which is almost gym quality, its the evo smooth and its big n heavy…..so me and 2 guys, me on the light end basically doing deadlift lowering down each stair for 3 flights.
my hand was ripped up from the strap.
I had to do it side ways with right dominant but I am sore today and a bit yesterday.
well, its worse today but I doubled my curcumin and have been working on it with traumeel and thought! it helps, plus pms again, so my back will hurt a bit.

Did alt db curls n bi machine, not what was listed……no wrist work, did abs….not obl….I messed up.
So I adjust the rest and then day 4-6 can be done right.
I also did upright bike, not stair master but my back did not prob want s.m anyway, so bike was better.
Tomorrow is Yoga and this week I may only get it in once but I may do some at home, we will see…….I have never done it alone and I guess I feel I may not get the form right alone, I am so anal about form and such…….and I am not a yogini so I look to the teacher for guidance when my form is off and it does happen during classes where I get corrected so I feel at home I may do something off and then ….I donno, ruin it, get hurt?

Well, thats that.

Oh yeah, I am on smart cleanse 30 day with the fibre, I use my own oil from pvl (mct) and north coast naturals (hemp). I think its all on the diet plan pdf.

Oh and I forgot my tea yesterday but today its made and ready.

Today so far I am on track but its early.

On a personal note, I have not had too much time to read or paint but things are coming along so nicely with all my plans and visions. I am amazed how far positive thought can take you. In a month we have accomplished and achieved and received both materialistically and emotionally, more than in the past 17 years! Just by changing my thinking!
I little spirit and positive thought, so underestimated……..I am learning much!

Linda

I am not too disappointed because I don’t know know how much I even believed I would make it to nats and so mentally how prepared was I.
I look at the prep and other than hormone timing I still should have beat that.
I think my body was no longer falling prey to the dandelion and such, I had already been on them for 2 weeks……….then went off them for a week and back on for 2 weeks, at that point I think they stopped working. I still have to see the pics to see how far off I was or not…..you never really know for sure until you see the pics I was looking leaner than Nov but water started to sit again….and so I peaked the week after the july show til the week of Aug 1st………..I still looked good show day but was I still peaked and even so, I know I was in no way comparable in size to thse ladies even the natty ones.
I lost have my weight in my ass muscles when I had to stop deads n squats.
the amt of weight I can lift for presses is questionable…..but its more than for squats which I don’t know if I can really always do, it seems sporadic so I know I need to focus on a few areas and shoulders and lats seem to be getting bigger and bigger on these ladies so I need to work on that and butt muscle sculpting.
I know that much and am already prepping my next phase of training, PHASE 1 which is a 4 mth hypertrophy. I still have to get pics to the head judge for some advice but at this point am assuming the areas she may indicate need work.
I will do whatever exercises I need to target the area and avoid worsening my back. This phase I will probably stay at a lower protein intake that I normally do and hence lessen the cals, plus adding some maintenance cardio so that I am not bulking, just lean mass with a moderate body fat level.
I am also going to go back to my old training schedule from 10 years ago when I did a flurry of shows, except no shows so the gains will be better. I was on hmb then so I have to find some, and I was training an avg of 2 hrs per day, some days 2.5 up to 4 hours if I did longer bouts of cardio/kickbox/plyometrics/dance/gymnastics/blading and I may do yoga now twice per week so that is an extra hour for example.
At least 1 to 1.5 hrs weights per day, 3 on -3 off, or 6 on 1 off, depending how it falls each week, and there are the occasional days I may only get an hour but the majority will be as indicated above.
I have a home gym, suitable to keep me training no matter what. not sure if I will split it up, train am pm, which I have been enjoying……cardio will avg 20 - 40 mins 3-5 days per week, with higher intensity than I have been doing. I want to work up to 40 mins runs at 8mph, 2-3 times per week. I like sprint sessions too.
I also want to do a bit more intensity on my recumbent bike now too, which is doable for shorter sessions since my sessions have been an hour to an hour and half on the bike with no intensity at low pace. Time to have some fun with training with small mental challenges like these.
I may work with some break dancers and see if I cannot pick up a few new strength ideas. I already did pick up a no foot pushups in tuck position and been watching olympics, I like the plange except I have to sit my belly on my elbows but my body is straight parallal to the floor, fingers facing feet, elbows at my lower ribs, it looks neat! I am already looking for someone to do my show music for next year and planning toward costume and suits too.
i want to have it all ready to rock and just focus on perfecting a new routine, making it lively, my routines always are fun and strong and ranked high so its not a thing which will distract my focus from physique so the early I get it prepped the better it looks next year. The training for it is good too and helps with size as I do all these bodyweight moves. Also I am in a good place fitness wise to do it, if I wait I will have a rougher time reintro into doing routine like when you take off season……so I will keep my body in routine condition, that keeps me a bit leaner easier too and will pump out my shoulders and lats.
I am very excited to see what I can accomplish!!!
Linda

I came in 11th place.
Pretty low.  Obviously not in the condition they want, obviously I have a ways to go to get where they want, a whole 10 places to go forward in order to look like a winner in their definition.
I await photos and feedback from head judge/judges regarding what I need to work on.  I have already had some reply which was amazingly fast but the wording of my email threw off the question, so I reworded it in hopes it was posed correctly and still need to send pics, of which I don’t have yet.
So the head judge awaits my pics.
Linda

so this line up was the first call outs.
from left to right;
Allison Ethier, Sylvia Trembley, Tamara Vahn, Ocean Bloom, Allison Black Stirling and Jodi Boam, never heard of the last 3 but they are Easterners I think.
Ocean did not place top 5 though which I found interesting since she was in first call outs but her routine maybe was not what they look for, although colorful and creative, not very strong.  She was up there though, the rest made top 5.
I did not see sylvia’s routine but hers are usually good but most of this placing is based on body.  Sylvia got second and could be natty, as could Allison who got 3rd.  all very good gymnasts though and had some kicker suits on too.
The girl who won was was of the more muscled gals there and not sure shes natty but I think she could be based on genetics…..if you look closely, I am in the back in green between the dark girl in red who won (Tamara), and Ocean who is the very very blonde beside her on her right side with a purple/pink suit also one of the biggest girls there. 
Allison and Sylvia did this show before already so I think if I recall right, they both were told to muscle up……..and they have and were rewarded for it although they did not get pro cards.  This chick tamara got overall so I think she got a card.
I was pretty lean, but it looks like I could have been even leaner from the looks of it but need size to go with……..so my focus for the next year is size…….I am as of now still going to remain natural but I may have to consider some light drug use in order to get my pro card and at this point still do not want to do that.  I am thinking I will see how well I do with muscle gains first for a year, if next year my placing is not any better I may  dip a bit but I really do not want to get any more muscular than what sylvia or allison look like since they still look and sound like women, unlike a higher percent of the rest of the gals in fitness.
My BCs photos were posted too but I looked so soft…. http://twixpix.com/contests/BC08/BC08-Fit056.html ….I was lean but bloated badly with pms so its not a sharp lean……….and to be honest I started bloated again last week a bit and started to hold water in the past couple days but not enough to soften me drastically or so, I guess we will see when I see the pics.

Well not too disappointed, but its always nice to be the winner, and such…….but obviously  i have to work harder.
Linda

Not sure my placing but was pleasantly surprised to see a few girls who could be naturals, in the top 5.  There were 2 big girls, 1 soft smaller one who was bigger than me though, and 2 who are just in the middle and they are also slightly heavier than I but not by much, nothing too hard to attain!
Bottom line my look was not top 5 so now to find out what is and how to attain it in a year naturally.
Non of the more muscled gals placed top 5 except 2 who were not the most muscled but in the group of the 5 most muscular.
so now I will contact the judges and find out what they think I need to do in order to win this show.  What do they want to see from me for next year.
I want to make sure I do exactly as needed, no use guessing as every fed is diff and I am pretty sure they are going to tell me to work on conditioning which means a bit bigger in certain areas but also harder….and I few areas I already know I bet……but lets see what they have to say.  It will be interesting…..I am also curious if top 5 were all gymnasts, which I think may be the case and I don’t think anyone from TEAM BC made top 5, also interesting.
t is true the east gals have a certain look certain suits and many are national level gymnasts.  I will examine things closer and get any feedback, happily and humbly and will take full consideration of that feedback in order to improve my placing.  Also curious what my placing was from 6-15.
Linda
ps
no pics til photographer sends them so…….

 Okay so now I am a few days out, less than a week and feeling great, tight, and lean.
I am at about 110lbs, I hate that number but it seems to be the one which goes with the leanest me so we will have to work this year at  bringing that up by 10lbs, I seriously want to gain 5-10lbs this year, regardless of my back!

My problem is I get ****y, I get relaxed then I end up missing a few months in the year of training and diet an during those months I lose precious muscle gained prev. and lose time of gaining more.  I am going to stay consistent this year to make sure next year - whatever show I do, I come in even harder with more muscle mass.  I want to make people question if I am a natural because my size borders on that look………..yet still be a natural, so there is my goal, always been but it seems now I am much more focused and things are into play which will help me.  
I have a running kitchen now, where as from 93 to 07 I was in a small room with dogs and my man, had to share a kitchen and because of circumstances did not want to run into my mom since I care for her and most of the times she is ’self induced’ sick………………which is 90% of the time.  So it was tense, I used a hotplate, lived in a room and under a ton of stresses.

Lets just say it was like a Cinderella story except she aint my step mom she is my real mom.
My dad passed on 89 and left no will, she tried to liquidate the home so that I could not get any and also liquidated any funds he has put away which was out of country - that money is gone and to pursue it would be pointless plus my mom tends to have ‘heart attacks’ when she is upset….or strokes….although non so far have been legit………but its all past now, my name is now on the home, she is too old and does not want me to leave so I now have a top floor of this 3 level home.

My environment is ideal now, I have a tread, cycle, bench, weights and working on a weight room in my basement while still fixing the home, my mom did not do much fixing - she is useless for that, my dad did all that so she was clueless and only wanted her rent, kinda like a slum lord although now we only have tenant in part of our bsmnt, so we have been incurring those debts and such……but its not a loss as long as my name is there so I won’t lose my part.

My mom still gets sick ’self induced’ but because I now have some outside gvt help, she cannot binge as harshly. I wish i could sue her dr…………he gave her all these sedative narcotic anti depressants back in 89……..meds which are to be weened off after 3 mths and it says so when you read you read up on these drugs, you would think the dr would know this….I seem to know more than he does or he simply does not care since he does not live with her so he keeps dealing her more narcots…….here she is 20 years later still on them, more of them and lots and she drinks, takes 3 t3s at a time for her pains and he knows it!  Its has bee a 20 year battle and a HUGE PAIN IN MY ASS!  Her pains are mostly side effects, many of them……although she has legitimate health issues too.

Imagine dealing with a teenage but having no power to stop them from killing or hurting themselves - no power to ground them or such……I cannot tell my mom what to do and she denies it even when proven drunk by ER blood tests the times she fell and got hurt and I had to call ambulance or take her to er.

Soooooooo anyway my point is I feel that I can focus more on me and my goals more fully now where as before I had so many things AGAINST my training including my other half setting me up for sabatoge with foods and fights………but he too is now in a better place and has accepted my career and of course he is less stressed now too in our living situation.  

Now when my mom falls I can longer pick her up, due to my back but she also ends up messing herself and bleeding all over the place which my guy is a bit squeemish over….well the poop and such is not so bad, just stinky and in helping her it gets all over you but taht only happens when she is right hopped up so like anyone else who would be as drunk and drugged as she was, you defaecate yourself………..up to now I always did pick her up and not bring my guy into it, with her dead weight of 170 lbs off the floor……now I have  to get my guy to do it when it happens and watching him do it makes me just so much more aware of what I was doing, how much I was lifting, he struggles with her………and he is very strong.

So this year has been the beginning of many new opportunities for me to have a much more peaceful journey toward my future in general……even so the circumstances are not ideal, I am at peace with what I cannot control including finding her bleeding and such which I used to fear so much but i has happened so many times now I stopped resisting it as I cannot control it…………..and it happened she fell so badly a few times now with such a high dope level and booze level that the senior psychiatry is helping a bit, but they can only suggest things like day programs at senior programs where they are in hospital and clubs where there is medical staff.
Because of these ‘outing’ days, she cannot binge nightly, she knows she has somewhere to be the next day and they call her to follow up in the morning as well and if she tries not to go in they have me to ‘fink’ on her…….of course no one can stop her but she is an older mentality and immigrant so she can be intimated a bit………which is sad but hey, whatever it takes to keep her on the better path for both her and me…………it is such a handful.  She can drink as early as lunch and be drunk by 2pm!  if it was just booze it would not be so bad but when she mixes its so bad and she loses bodily functions.

I am sure some of you can relate somehow.
And then people wonder why after 17 years we have no kids…………..been taking care of my mom, a big problem child!!!  I prefer dogs anyway.

So anyway, I feel good, sorry to purge all that…..but its like I am setting my thoughts here so bare with me.

This picture below and my new avatar was taken last night.  I feel right on par………or at least as best as I can be for this show.  I will shoot a few friday night after I get colored up.

Sandra Wickham has been quite supportive of me and very helpful which is not my past experiences with her, it was very very pleasant.  She has a team who does the spray jan tana and assured me the formula is ph balanced and such so no more GREEN me, I used jan tana many years ago and stopped due to the green shades it would go on myskin, because of my sweat and the meds I use.

OKAY BOYZ AND GIRLS, KEEP SENDING MY POSITIVE VIBES, PRAYERS, AND TONS OF GREAT LOVING LUCK!!!
I am going up against the best of the best here, I am so excited and have been enjoying this so far and am especially happy of the timing with this one, NO PMS!!!
Linda