ITNewbie’s BodyBlog

On the second week of my treatment for cancer I have many things that I have to contemplate -and that is just what I have been aware for five years -the new piece to the puzzle of my life is my dad reappearing in my life. It was of my own choosing but I founf out I am not as ready to face this new challenge as I though I would be. It put me in a great state of anxiety which I would rather not have. But everything happens for a reason and I guess I will find out as soon as I write this letter that he suggests I write to sort of "break the ice" with him. It has been 10 years at the least since I last talked to him. That means I have to fill him in on what has been happening in our family for the time is what not present in it.

Ok enough about that my health and fitness is taking its baby steps I am still working out in my apt. with calisthenics and my db’s -I will try to do it more than once a week the issue is where do I get the motivation. I know it has to come from deep down inside -I am all tapped out -Hopefully things will change with the help and support that I am recieving from my friends and family.

Until next time

Ciao

Kirk

I have not updated here in awhile since this text area where I am writing has been giving me problems. I was not able to update until now.

Well I have started my treatments for prostate cancer and they will last until Sept. 5th -this was my first day and it will be the same time every day @5:15 pm est  here in Cleveland Ohio USA @ The VA Hospital -if you dont know I am a Marine Corp Veteran.

Thank god since I have not worked since 2004 and have been in school online at Capella University -Currently I have taken a needed break from school since my diagnosis due to my grade being affected from this.

I still workout on a occasional basis in my home -doing the ab roller and dumbbells when I have the motivation to do them. I am frustrated with myself and I have lost some weight since then I am now down to 159 a little slimmer but I still need to be more buff and lose some of my spare tire -It is just so hard even with the equipment here at home. I would of never thought it will be so hard -Time will tell. Maybe after the treatments are over I will give it another try Wish me luck all

Until next time

Kirk

I know that I should not use this post for this but I have to for my emotional health

Today I went to visit my mom’s gravesite and pay my respects on this day of her birth -she will be 81 if she was still alive and although I know she is in a better place I still miss her deeplly -It is additionally hard to deal  with when I am grieving the loss of her along with my best friend who committed suicide in 2003 and also dealing with  my diagnosis of prostate cancer as of March 17th St.Patrick’s Day. I have been told that I am dealing with it pretty good and I think I am also , but I do wonder sometime and question if I should be dealing with it differently based the severity and time span that these events which was in a five year period. I am getting the idea that these are wake up calls to be more cognizant of who I am and If I dont know then I should pursue those goals. That means emotionally ,spiritually and physically my objective is to improve upon those areas.

Unfortunately these issues are now affecting how I am looking at my life presently -it has affected my concentration on my educational goals. I am falling behind in my studies -my motivation has changed in that regard . I wont go into too much more than that.

No one knows or would volunteer to walk in my shoes , sometimes I wish I didnt either. Everyone has a slew of problems that they have to deal with and I do understand that. But I do get frustrated with how they think you should be further along than you are in your recovery.

Experience is the best teacher and I would welcome to just experience what I have been through and dont judge until you do. I am getting a little upset and this is therapeutic for me -I do wonder also if many people read my blog -it is me today in raw form since my feelings are posted in this blog.

So I will end this and wish all my potential and interested readers a happy Memorial Day and God bless our veterans -I am a proud Marine honorably discharged.

Until next time

I have been frustrated with the things that are happening in my life thus far. I just had my 47th birhday on the 14th and dont feel any older but I am aware of it due to the many health issues that have come abound. On March 17th I was diagnosed iwth prostate cancer -Prognosis looks good ,the tumor is small and on the 27th of this month I am going to get a cat scan to determine where the laser treatments with be directed at. And then 10-15 days later I will start the treatments. I have thyroid disease and I am on a lifetime medication which I dont like taking. Old hernia surgery is giving me occasional pain and discomfort which I am treating with more medication

Emotionally I am ok .lot better than 5 years ago when some tragic events happened that has changed my life forever.

My love of the instuition of heatlh and fitness and how it affects the body was always a obsession since i was a child which lead to becoming a bodybuilder. I was never a athlete in high school but became hooked into the Pencil neck vs muscleman era back in the early 70’s and then it became part of my daily rountine. Starting in my friends attic with the antiquated plastic weights that you could buy at many of the departments stores during that time.

Anyhow I know that this is not quite the forum to be writing my life history but health and fitness does make up a large percentage of my history so it should fit. I will not write a book here but just know I could write a book on the many challenges that I have faced thus far to make two books . So there it is

I am going to be taking steps to get back on that road full time instead of occasionally to embrace and display that love I still have for bodybuiiding ,health and fitness.

I just had my 47th birthday on May 14 and I am not getting the results that I hoped but I did gain some muscle size since I started weight training in my home. It involved working out on my exercise wheel and dumbbells along with doing calisthenics- I have gotten stronger and my endurance has improved. Work still needs to be done so I am going to try to accomplish some of those goals this summer. I plan on rejoining my gym to work on those goals. I need to do more cardiovascular work such as treadmill and riding the bike. I have been walking but not to the extent that it would make a significant difference in my weight . Sedentary seems to be my middle name lately.

That is going to be another challenge for me . I was presented a challenge to workout more on the equipment that has been abandoned in my basement which consists of a bench , barbell curl bar and a bowflex type machine that I did work out on a little last week by a friend of mine and I think he is going to take some current pictures of my physique which I plan on posting on the site soon. . Motivation is the biggest challenge that needs to be prioritized in my routine.

Forgive me for not updating sooner but I have been busy with my education (pursuing my Master’s Online in information Technology ) and health( dealing with my new diagnosis of prostate cancer) issues.So my plate is full right now with those issues and related issues that i wont mention at this time because it will fill many pages and bore the reader.

My day of birth has come and gone-I feel no older except on those cold damp days when I feel older that I am chronologically.

On that note I will close to continue to work on those goals

Good luck Kirk

I just finished working out and taking a nice shower-boy doesn’t that feel good I dont know why I embrace this feeling instead of settling for an idle lifestyle such as sitting at my computer doing my schoolwork and just occasionally getting up to get a drink or snack and use the bathroom. I have been doing well with getting out of the house and walking at least to the bus stop and going to my appointments-I know I need to get out more . I am anticipating that I will get some extra money to go back and join my local gym to work more on my physique which needs to lose  body fat.

My diet has been ok but needs improvement-it is hard to obtain that routine when I dont have a constant structure daily and/or weekly. I am working on this issue-I am a  home bound online college student that has a set of dumbbells and a exercise wheel to work my abs-it is acceptable based on my lack of income-I wish I had a sponsor to help me with this. I totally understand that in today’s society it is a rarity for someone to help one unconditionally. I was a personal trainer along with working with emotionally disturbed kids. I did provide a service and got paid for that service. Although I did not get as much compensation for those services, I enjoyed the experience I gained.

So sponsorship is somewhat based on those conditions with compensation in some form or fashion. I am feeling good at this point and still working on myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually still keeping in mind my limitations in two of those areas.

Until Next time
Kirk

I have been told that each day is different - I just had  oatmeal and multivitamin meal along with my regular cup or cups of healthy green tea. I just wonder if everything I heard about green tea is true . Since my diagnosis I have been drinking every morning and wondering if it helps or hurts my cancer. I will be going to the oncologist on the 24th to give him my decision regarding my choice of treatment which wil bee  radiation via the laser treatment that they spoke of. Wish me luck

In the meantime  I am going to  exercise and keep my spirits up both mentally and spiritually.

Until next time

Kirk

just got more bad news concerning a friend of mine who has contracted cancer -quite devastating for me since I just started to develop  a relationship with him - I guess I am meant to take this as another opportunity to talk about my sickness which is less severe. He has a tumor on his spine which is going to take surgery and chemotherapy.. My tumor is in its early stages and very slow growing -told it will take years to grow under normal conditions (10-15yeas ) to produce symptoms.

on a lighter note I have started back to school online and I am just finishing my first week
need to get my books soon -told the instructor waiting for a response. I am excited not so much for the class but for the number of people in the class. I was a class of one last quarter where I still have  a paper due which gave me an incomplete grade. I am going to the VA in Brecksville to a weekly group dealing with helping veterans with everyday issues. I have a slew of appointments at the Wade Park VA -which include seeing a my primary doctor , a urologist and my psychiatrist. along with my oncologist to discuss what my choice for treatment is  of my cancerous tumor within my prostate gland. which is on the 24th .I am ready to get this process started no matter how minuscule my tumor is- I cannot just take things for granted anymore. I am watching my diet and exercising more along with going to different functions outside my apt.
As I get more info on my progress I will update this blog -it serves as my journal and therapy at this point.
Until next time
Kirk

I am doing ok since I last posted about my diagnosis-since then I have gotten used to accepting the fact that I have abnormal cells that could potentially kill me-just a warning sign that gives me a wake-up call in reference to paying more attention to my life and how I live it. I have been  working out more often since the diagnosis and also eating a little better-I enrolled in a 4 week self help very structured program to help veterans as myself deal with mental health issues that stem from tragic events.

I will update my workout tracker since I have been working out with my db’s in my apt.
I have graduated from the 4 week program and now I am part of the alumni group and I am welcome to come back on every thursday for alumni functions at the VA Hospital

I have been thinking about my future with weight training and losing so abdominal fat-silly me I know that fat is lost evenly all over my body but I know I need to kick start it with heavy cardio training which involves going to the gym or running out side
Any way I will keep you that read my blog of my status since my diagnosis
I would like to see if people are reading it. I welcome any ideas ,suggestions or comments that you think of.
Thanks for all the support thus far from forum member and friends and family that has been there for me and will continue to be there.

Until next time
Kirk

It has been awhile since I last wrote-I was contacted by the blog  adminstrator to update my blog-I did realize that people read these as much as he said since I never get any comments on if they did or not.

So i did not think it was urgent to write. Plus I have been busy with school and then got diagnosed  with prostate cancer on St. Patrick’s Day so I have another challenge to face.

My diet and execise routines are now very crucial to my health status at this point.

I am continuing to record my diet and exercise sessions into my diet software progam and now I have to change my diet to keep my health stable.

My tumor is slow growing and curable so i am not worried about the potential damage it could cause. I am being supported both emotionally and psychologically from family and friends and it feels good to have that support.

I am planning to rejoin my gym in time to get in better shape I need to lose some weight around my midsection and get more cardio in to help with that process.

I will update as necessary -I might make this my personal journal to reflect my journey with the new challenge and it’s effect on my health status.