~Heather’s World~

You can’t control life, however YOU can control YOURSELF! 
 
At the rip old age of 29, I realize that I cannot control circumstances and events that happen. I cannot control the fact that I lost my job and am being taken through the ringer just in order to get financial aid for school! I cannot control the change of seasons, the weather, or the fact that I’m a lady and PMS is inevitable! No matter how many times I pray and ask God-why do we girls have to go through this…it doesn’t matter! We do, so I have to deal with it!

 
I’ll be honest and admit that I use my setbacks and circumstances as reason to eat hap hazardly, miss a workout, or worse-have a pity party. With that being said, my bodyfat has sky rocketed. Clothes that at one time use to be way to big are way to small now. Clothes that I use to feel confident in, I now feel self-conscience and insecure in. I can remember a point in my life where I lived for the gym and even eating clean. Next to my relationship w/ Christ-the gym was #1. I did NOT miss a workout for anyone or anything! I didn’t care if I was tired or didn’t feel good, I went and attempted it-even if it meant I just left, but at the end of the day I felt like I had accomplished something, because I tried. I remember the times where I was locked in the bb.com all day, almost 24-7. I was inspired and encouraged. I was blogging daily and that in turn encouraged me.

 
Somewhere along the way, I just stopped. I stopped caring. I stopped trying. I became content with being mediocre. I used every negative as a reason to eat myself into a sugar coma. I used every excuse to miss the gym. I have gotten to the point where I don’t know who the hell is staring back at me in the mirror. It’s sad, but true. It’s hurtful, yet true.

 
My personal breaking point was Friday! I went shopping with my mom and I ran into a gym member that I know. I hadn’t seen her in quite sometime and she just came out and said, Oh my Heather, you have put on quite a bit of fat. I’m sure that depressing! My jaw nearly hit the floor in complete and utter aww. I just thought, are you kidding me! Like, who is that perfect that they would say something so cruel to another person. My ego was shattered, because I knew it was true! The truth hurts. Granted, I’m the average size now, but I’m much bigger then I was before.

 
After Friday, I decided to sit down and take toll on Heather. That’s when I realized that I have been allowing all of these negatives to drain me and depress me. I have been having a pity party for the past 7 months on and off. Instead of using the negatives to fuel me, I allowed them to take from me!

 
I can’t control the things around me, but I can control myself. I can control the types of food I put into my mouth, the consistency of training, and my mindset. I can feel happy if I want to! I can control the amount of ‘free meals’ that I have. I have a lot more control then I’d like to admit. Admitting that you are in control of yourself is admitting that you have power to overcome things that seem bleak and depressing. YOU don’t have to sit around and be depressed all day, unless you decide that’s what you want to do. You have a choice. No one can make you do anything you don’t want to do, no one can make you eat what you know you shouldn’t eat, and no one can take the strength, clarity, and security that the gym gives you-unless you allow them to!

 
There are a lot of things that you have absolutely NO control over and that’s okay. Don’t worry about those things or focus on them! Focus and channel all that you have towards what you can control and that is building a happier, healthier you! No one can take you, from you unless you give him or her the stamp of approval.

 
 
So, here I am again, constructing my plan of attack! I am ‘officially’ back to build a better me. The only difference is that this time I want to be better then I was before. I want to knock ‘30’ clear on its ass this coming January! I’ll be around much more then I have in the past few months!

 
Your sister in health, wellness, and iron

 “HH”

 Proverbs23:9-Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, For he will despise the wisdom of your words. (NKJV)
How many times have you been at work in the kitchen warming up bland chicken & broccoli and someone says, that’s all your eating? How about when you get your protein and shaker and mix it and add a side of veggies or rice cakes to it, (plain unsalted rice cakes) only to have someone say, that is gross! You’re drinking that crap and eating card board! Yeah, been there done that, heard all of it.

Do you carry a lunch bucket to work w/ 4-5 meals in it, keep unsalted nuts, protein, oatmeal, or natural p.b. at your desk? Do you wake up at the crack of dawn to put in a workout or go to the gym immediately after work? If you do, you are probably in the minority of most. The sad thing is that what you are doing is awesome, yet explain it to someone who isn’t-a fool.

Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, For he will despise the wisdom of your words.
This proverb is so on point! Try explaining your lifestyle to someone who is NOT about it and they call you all sorts of names and say you are crazy! A fool despises knowledge and that includes you talking about eating clean, resistance training, cardio, etc.

So, my blurb for the day is-to heck w/ them! Don’t worry about explaining anything to anyone, because if he is a fool, which most are-they will despise everything that you have to say and think you are nuts. So, like I said before, the proof is in the pudding and surely the person who lives a healthy & fit lifestyle will prevail. So, keep doing you, packing lunch, going to the gym, and being healthy. At the end of it all-you will remain standing!

Yours in health & fitness!

Heather “HH”

Proverbs 16:26 -The person who labors, labors for himself, For his hungry mouth drives him on. (NKJV)

A lot of people think that the good ol bible is boring, but it’s not there is so, so, much knowledge that is in here. This is a verse that I stumbled upon and wanted to break down and share it w/ people so they could apply it to their life and situation and get a some motivation going!

The person who labors, labors for himself….The majority of people I know work, and they do it because they want to and because they have bills to pay among other things. The truth is that, those bills and the things you want, keep you going to work 40 hours a week and O.T. when possible!!

The same thing goes for gym vets, I do NOT work out for my friends, family, or a significant other! I WORKOUT FOR ME! So, look at it like this-the person who works out, works out for himself!

For his hungry mouth drives him on. Let’s talk about hunger. If you read this proverb it’s fairly clear that hunger drives a person to continue working. Correct?

My question is this-HOW HUNGRY ARE YOU? Seriously, stop and think-how hungry are you! Are you hungry to get in shape, put an end to emotional eating, get your degree, do a competition, or learn how to incorporate clean eating into your life? HOW HUNGRY ARE YOU??

A lot of times we want the end result, but we are NOT willing to put in half of the work that is needed in order to get to the Promised Land.

It’s clear, NO HUNGER, NO WORK, NO PROGRESS. So yet again, I ask-HOW HUNGRY ARE YOU??

As human beings, hunger is what will drive us to go further then the next person. If I’m homeless and your homeless and I’m hungry as a hostage and I see a piece of edible food-I’m going to rumble in order to get it. That same principal goes for working out and eating clean!

You see, in order to truly get to your best body and your best self, you have to be hungry! No hunger, no progress.

We all would like 6 figure incomes, but how many people want to put in the schooling, long hours, the trials and tribulations that come before that first check-not a lot. Heck, even speaking from my own experience I wanted a 6 figure income, but I didn’t want to go to school. I WAS NOT HUNGRY! Plain and simple. It has taken me 10 years to get hungry-truly to be starved to get my degree, but I do NOT just want a bachelors-I want my MASTERS!

I lost my hunger for the gym and for eating clean. I got lazy, lack luster and allowed other situations in my life to take all my focus. I wasn’t hungry. Now, I’m hungry, again. I’m hungry like I was when I first started.

After reading this verse, I realize the value of hunger and what hunger will truly drive you to do. When you are starving you eat everything you can. It works that way w/ life, when you are hungry for the gym, you will throw yourself into, read every article you can, talk to everyone about it, find new clean recipes, and keep on trucking, regardless to anyone or anything else.

So, take the time today to ask yourself how hungry you really are and furthermore-never underestimate the bible-it’s real talk, the same yesterday, today, and forever.

Yours in Heath & Fitness

*HH*

What I know for sure….

These are just a few things that I know for sure…

1.       Everyone enters and exits your life for a reason, even though YOU may not understand it at the time, there really is a reason.

2.       Bad things happen to good people.

3.       There is NO need to keep up w/ the Jones’s because if you are focused on them, YOU lose focus on YOU.

4.       Love is like a double edged sword-it can save you or it can kill you.

5.       Oatmeal and egg whites are boring as hell, but damn you will look great in a few months if you keep at it, because it’s a clean breakfast!

6.       Everyone does NOT have your best intentions at heart! Keep your eyes open!

7.       The people YOU least expect to have your back are usually the ones that step up when needed the most.

8.       Time is always of the essence; do NOT waste your time on any project or person that’s not worth it, because YOU can NOT get that time back.

9.       The gym can become your hideaway if you are willing to allow it to be!

10.   Cardio sucks, but when all else fails-run like hell w/ the music pounding in your ear, cry if need be,  I guarantee you will feel better after.

11.   Friends and significant others come a dime a dozen; my advice is to save your dimes and use it on someone that is worthy of YOU.

12.   You are what you think you are!

13.   Don’t waste time on things you will NEVER understand-it will be toxic to your spirit! Let the bs go!

14.   This world is your playground-go outside and play!

15.   Get mad and then LIFT YOUR HEART OUT!

16.   It’s okay to cry when you lift! I have!

17.   Every time you lift a weight, you are setting yourself free! YOU ARE EMPOWERING YOURSELF!

18.    In the bible, it says to get the word in your heart, because no one can take it from you, the same thing goes for lifting, fall in love w/ it and keep it in your heart-no one can take the empowerment of lifting away!

19.   Life is to short to worry about what you don’t get-because you probably never will get it. It’s to short to be with someone you don’t really love or makes you laugh. You lose time, energy, and focus.

20.   You are what you eat-eat clean and the way God intended and you will be where you want to be in NO TIME!

21.   If MAN made it-RUN LIKE HELL-IT WILL KILL YOU IN THE END!

22.   Write it down, make the vision clear, though it may tarry-WAIT FOR IT!!! (This is a bible verse, but I forgot the exact wording and location. However even God says you gotta right the vision down and MAKE IT CLEAR!! AMAZING!)

23.   PINK VINYL WEIGHTS DO NOT QUALIFY YOU FOR ANYTHING!

24.   If someone loves you, they will understand and deal w/ your love for the gym.

25.   Yeah, I’m married-TO X-SPORT. DEAL W/ IT!

26.   MUSIC IS THE SOUNDTRACK OF OUR LIVES (DICK CLARK)

27.   WEIGHT TRAINING IS THERAPUTIC AND EMPOWERING!

28.   When you love something, do NOT let it go, hold onto it and nurture it! (that goes for your love affair w/ the gym)

29.   The same amount of time is going to go by anyways, so why not do what you want to do and be truly happy and proud at the end of a year or lifetime for that matter.

30.   Everyone will NOT likeyou and someone will always be ahead in the game. Don’t worry about it!

31.   I can NOT change you, I can only change me!

32.   In order to change the world, you have to change YOU first and foremost!

33.   All things are possible!

34.   How bad do you want it! Hunger drives you-let it drive you far in the things that will add to your life-NOT DESTROY YOU!

35.   LIFE ISN’T EASY, That’s why it’s called life.

36.   Laugh until you cry.

37.   Pictures are memories caught on paper!

38.   Smile everyday, it’s good for your spirit.

39.   Smile at people you don’t know, it will brighten their day.

40.   Everyday is a gift, ACT LIKE IT!

41.   You are NOT the center of the world and everything isn’t just about YOU!

42.   Another person does NOT define you! YOU DEFINE YOURSELF!

43.   Friends are the family that we get to choose!

44.   Don’t make someone else pay for the mistakes of another person. It just isn’t fair!

45.   Do not let ANYONE tell you what you can’t do! Remember, misery loves company.

46.   People like us, are the minority (the gym rats!!!)

47.   Most people will not understand the fact that you eat 6-7 times daily and eat the same bland meals everyday, let alone understand getting up at the crack of dawn to workout. So, don’t waste your time trying to explain! Just remember the proof is in the pudding, because when its 100 degrees out and they are concealing their body, YOU CAN GET YOUR SHINE ON!

48.   Never turn around-keep your eyes on what lies ahead! If you drive and turn around-you’re going to crash! Focus on what lies AHEAD!

49.   CRYING DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE A BABY OR WEAK, IT SHOWS YOUR HUMAN.

50.   Life is a great big mural, make sure the people who hold paint brushes in your life are well worthy to hold them! If they are not, get your paint brush back and tell them to kick rocks!

Today I was playing around and took a few pictures to put on my page. For the past few months, I have just felt bad about me-period. I was seriously just disgusted with how I let myself fall completely off the wagon. However, I took these pictures today and although I’m pretty covered, one thing stood out to me, MY ASS! Yes, my ass!
All my life I have had a seriously flat butt! It was a bit of a pancake, carpenter’s dream, and don’t forget I was the former president of the Flat butt club! After stepping in the gym in 06, I can finally say, damn look at my ass! I worked so hard to get the little bit of bum that I have! I have squatted 100’s of lbs, done 1000’s of lunges, lots of plyo’s-don’t forget sprints, the stairmill and the stairmaster.
I had an aha moment today-I might not be where I want to be at, but thank God I’m not where I use to be. I’m thankful to be where I am. Although, I’m not in great shape like I use to be, I’m still not that bad off compared to a lot of people.  
I realize for the last few months, I have been beating myself up-looking at the glass as half empty, instead of full. No-I don’t have a six pack and I have lost a lot of definition. My eating has been terrible and I don’t think I’d let my puppy eat the way that I have-HOWEVER, today I can say that I looked in the mirror and I was content. Not over the top happy, but content and I actually said, wow, look at your ass. For a few minutes, I didn’t focus on all the bad stuff or lack luster parts, I focused on something good, my ass and legs. The ironic part is that my ass was one of the worst parts, something I use to be so, so, so, self conscience about. The only ethnic girl that was flat in the back! So, the one part that was terrible is now a trophy piece to me! Ironic, don’t you think?
I feel a bit motivated, proud, and encouraged. If I can have a nice rump-anyone can, because omg..it was terrible!
I think that has to be the key for a lot of people, don’t beat yourself up about what you DON’T look like, focus on what you love and work like hell on what you don’t and eventually one day you will look and say, well damn! Look at me! It’s so rewarding. I keep looking at the picture, like, wow! I have a booty! I have got so many pm’s today complimenting me and its amazing! So instead of focusing on losing fat, I’m going to just work and me back together 1 piece at a time, diet, training, balance, school, etc.
Nothing is impossible. We all are a work in progress!
Keep the faith and keep pumping iron!
Your sister in health & wellness

Is anyone familiar with the Keto diet? Any help or direction would be greatly appreciated. i want to start doing it on friday. So, if anyone has any imput, it would be greatly appreciated!

Just ONE comment! Today was my first dedicated day back in the gym and with my eating! I’m proud to say that I made it through the day at work w/out eating any major junk! (I don’t consider 1 serving of raisin bran junk!) I had a short workout, but I must say I was more focused then I have been in a long time and it felt so, so, good! I’m not sure if it was the switch from N.O Explode to Super pump 250, but whatever it was that got me going-I thank God! I burned almost 1200 calories! Yaaay! As I left work, it was so dark, cold and just plain dreary! I kept thinking I want to go home to my warm apartment and just pass out, but I kept saying aloud, it’s only 5.30pm. It’s early! You have to go Heather and I did just that! Someone left a comment on my page this evening and I happened to read it just before I left work for the gym and it just made me think! “If you use winter as a time to hit the stubborn parts hard; you end up not wanting it to end.” This one comment hit home! I don’t want to be that person that hibernates all damn winter and then tries to crash diet in the spring only to be aggravated and disgusted! No, this is my time to hit it and hit it hard, because let’s face it, no one wants to go to the gym in the winter, because were all covered up-especially if you live in the cold temperatures like I do! I can conceal my slight weight gain because I’m constantly in hoodies and sweat shirts! But deep down inside, I know my tummy is bulging! I can honestly say I went in the gym w/ a fire today, like I’m back. I’m not going anywhere. I might take a vacation, but I’m never, ever, completely gone! I told my gym buddies-no more talking! I love you guys, but I cannot afford to be detoured anymore. You have 2 choices, catch me before I hit it or after I’ve finished, but NOT during my time! My gym time is just that –MY TIME! It’s not time to chit-chat about garbage! Period! I had to stand on that, because a lot of the guys want to chat! Not today. Lol. I’ve lost a lot of strength and stamina! I’m not going to beat myself up, I’m going to use that as motivation! I realize what separates me from other fit women-who look the way that I dream of looking-it the fact that they are committed and dedicated to the gym like Jesus is to the church! Feel me? I’m wishy-washy! One minute I’m hot and one minute I’m not! For the next 3 or 4 weeks I’m just shooting for 5 days total, 3 days of total body workouts and cardio everyday. 20 minutes of HIIT on my lifting days and 30 minutes of cardio on my non-lifting days w/ abs and calves. I want to keep it simple till January, because of the holiday. 5 days though and clean the diet up again and I’ll surely be on the right track! So the point of this blog is this- you might be that person that leaves someone else a comment and that comment might be exactly what he or she needs to push them! That one comment just hit a cord inside of me and it’s like he literally took a match and set my insides on fire! I pushed hard today! I forced myself to squat 100lbs! I thought I was going to die, but I was previously able to squat more then 100-so today, HOT HEATHER WAS DETERMINED TO SQUAT 100LB-COME HELL OR HIGH WATER and I’m happy to say-I did it. Now, granted walking up the stairs to my apartment was torture, but I’m okay now! Lol J

At Last…

*Sigh* At last-I have a peace of mind and I slowly feel my mojo being reborn on the inside! This year has had so many ups and downs for me. One of my close co-workers said, Heather you are just like the American Eagle at Great America! I looked at him and said, why do you say that! He responded, because you are just a roller coaster of emotions. One day you are just high on life and happy and the next you are down and out!

I realize that I was NOT happy w/ my living situation. My dad and I had just come to an all time low. I decided that it was time for me to grow up and move. So I did it in less then a month and I have been in my own apartment for about 3 weeks now!

I was so scared to step out on my own-I was scared to step out on my own and depend solely on myself. Well, I did it and I did it scared as hell. I have never been 100% responsible for myself or anything else before now.

Now, that I am on my own and have a peace of mind-my outlook on life has made a 360 degree turn! I look at everything and everyone so much different! Hell, I even look at me differently. I come home and I see my cozy apartment and I say, damn-I did this! With the help of my mom and God-I have accomplished something that I never in 100 years thought that I would or let alone could do!

I no longer suffer from anxiety attacks on a daily basis. I am definitely more focused on my work. I have learned how to become more pro-active versus just being reactive! I also have learned in the past few weeks, that I snack and munch at work out of boredom!

Now that I am personally in a place that I am happy and content, it’s time for me to bring it like I did in the summer, before things erupted out of control. I look at pictures and it saddens me when I see myself now! Granted I haven’t packed on a lot, but I have lost a lot of strength and definition and added way to much bodyfat!

I am learning how to prioritize what’s important to me and saying to hell with the rest of it. Period! I am in total control now! I don’t keep junk in my house!!

So here is my game plan for the next few weeks until December- 3 total body workouts a week. 1 day will be heavy, 1 day will be light and the other day will moderate weight. I will also be doing hiit on those days for 30 minutes and on the other days that I don’t lift I will be doing a class or  just machine cardio and abs. I don’t want to jump in head first and do to much to soon and fall off, so I’m building myself back up to where I use to be. In December I will do my 5 day body split like I use to. I’m also going to start cycling my carbs like I did before-just not as strict. I’m just rebuilding my foundation. My major problem and goal is to overcome my compulsive eating at work. I’m fine at home-I don’t over eat or binge! I don’t wake up in the middle of the night and eat anymore-now I just eat at work, junk!!! L so, goal #1 is to over come the munching at work!

So wish me luck! Here we go..back at it!

Birth control pills and weight gain… 

I feel like my eating is sooo out of hand and I wonder if it’s due to my b.c. pills. I have been on them for about 3 months now and my eating is just bad! Does anyone else feel like this? What brand are you on? have you switched because of your eating? Any advice would help. I’m currently taking trinessa and I’m worried, because if I keep eating like this-I think I will consider stopping…. 

Help ladies!!!!