My first Lip sync video.
By now, most of you have had the…Ummm…Pleasure of seeing my lipsync videos.
I got a call from my mother the other day, it went something like this:
"Hello?"
"Hello, @sshole."
"Mom? I thought I told you I didn’t want you in my life in any capacity, you whore."
"I know, but I found this video of you when you were a kid doing that stupid f-cking lip-syncing that you love so much. You moron. You’re just like your father."
"Why are you blaming me for my father, yet again? I can’t help it that he’s my father. You made the choice to marry him. At 17. Take some responsibility, for once in your life. Two high school drop outs. Jesus, you worthless pieces of sh!t deserve each other. I pray every night that maybe I was secretly adopted, so you are not really my parents."
"And I wish I had you aborted, f-ckface. Do you want the f-cking video or not?"
"Sure, e-mail it to me at MyMotherEatsFeces.Com"
"Okay, I will. Oh, and Steven, I hope you die."
"I hate you too, @sshole."
So now, from deep within the achieves is my very first attempt at lip syncing to music in front of the computer.
I don’t wear glasses anymore, I wear contacts.
Enjoy.
Oh yeah.
And while we’re on the subject of lip sync videos, this one really rankles my ass.
How the f-ck does a doughy, effeminate, loser like this get a girl with such great tits?
Don’t answer that.
I walk down the street every day and see this phenomenon for myself.
Guys who are good-looking, built and obviously heterosexual are concidred "a threat".
A threat to do what? To NOT hang out in men’s rooms and ask "Hey sailor, lonely?"
What. The. F-ck.
Oh, how I hate the world we live in so much.
God, is going to spite me and make me live to be 150 years old as some sort of cruel joke.
Note to guy in video: Cut off those 90210 sideburns, take off those ear rings and give them back to your mom (along with her panties that you are probably wearing) stop eating cuchi fritos and get your doughy ass to a gym. You do NOT deserve a girl with a rack like that.
If I were single in this day and age, I’d be sitting home polishing the flagpole every night.
This rant is now officially over. Chest and back today.
Harumph!
P.S. The guy is wearing an ear ring in BOTH ears. I’m so out of step with what’s cool today. Blissfully out of step.
October 13, 2009 at 10:44 am
What happened?!! You used to be so good looking. Was it a rehearsal for your 1st performance, at your Bar Mitzvah?
October 13, 2009 at 10:51 am
Yes, I was a handsome lad back then, indeed. I used to have all the little girls in the playground fellate me. Some of the little boys, too.
No Bar Mitzvah for me.
My mother told my father: "Why should we waste the money on that piece of sh-t? Hopefully he’ll die before he’s 13, God willing. Why don’t you piss the money away gambling?", and he took her up on it.
:)
October 13, 2009 at 10:56 am
Well, look a the upside (oops, pardon the pun) is no career-ending Milli Vanilli moments for you.
I’d go back to the glasses. Kinda Andy Warhol & Truman Capote style. Just right for a lip-syncing NY Jew.
October 13, 2009 at 11:02 am
Yeah, and maybe with the glasses I could fool people into thinking I’m smart.
That is, if I keep my mouth shut.
As my dear mother always told me (This is true):
If you don’t say anything, people will THINK you’re stupid; but if you DO say something, they’ll KNOW that you’re stupid.
She was full of pearls of wisdom like that.
October 13, 2009 at 11:08 am
There is an actual quote:
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." (Abraham Lincoln)
But would did he know?……..He was just c country bumpkin who didn’t wear glasses.
October 13, 2009 at 11:26 am
Leave it to my illiterate mother to screw up a famous quote.
October 13, 2009 at 4:06 pm
I have this strange feeling you looked much better at that age…. in a completely non-gay way of course!
October 13, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Wow… for once I am speechless.
October 13, 2009 at 11:05 pm
You know what, though, I feel in love with this song. I play it when I am especially cranky and the irony of it never fails to cause me to smile.
October 14, 2009 at 8:29 am
I like the song Evacuate the Dance Floor. It’s by Cascada, the same person who sings What Hurts the Most.
What can I say, I really like dance music. Is that wrong?
October 14, 2009 at 9:33 am
If you knew the extent of my 1970’s disco CD collection (I believe I own every top ten disco song EVER recorded, that was my goal) you would cringe.
October 14, 2009 at 9:39 am
That’s sad.
October 14, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Ohhh - that kid with the earrings needs to get his ass kicked for singing like that, and yes for having a girl with the rack like that on his arm - That is just effing effing effing unfair. He needs to be that annoying lead singer’s (from Roscoe Flatts) boyfriend.
I know most of you will be shocked to hear that I am neither good-looking or built. "Obviously heterosexual" is probably the attribute I may portray. However I do know what you talk of, Hermicus. Some women are just wired to date men who look like droopy saggy, fat versions of themselves.
October 14, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Where the Hell do you find this stuff?
October 15, 2009 at 6:45 am
WOW…that poor little boy was the strangest little thing I have ever seen!..I found you another one to post to your collection;) Enjoy…
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BVvNE78lyc[/youtube]
October 15, 2009 at 6:46 am
oops…guess I can’t share…don’t know how to link videos on comments….LOL Oh well, you sure are missing out…..
October 15, 2009 at 11:21 am
Why don’t you PM the link to me with the next batch of dirty photos that you send me? Yesterdays batch was really top notch, btw. I think I actually blushed.
:)
P.S. Nice avatar shot.
October 15, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Shhhhhhhhh….that wasn’t supposed to get out, remember??….LOL
I’ll get right on that, mister;)
October 15, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Oh, and thanks for the compliment…I wasn’t naked in that one….hahahahahahahahaha
October 15, 2009 at 2:47 pm
You never fail to produce the goods.