HawaiianSiren’s BodyBlog

The Friday before the Superbowl, I was lifting pretty hard.  Muscle group for that day: CHEST.  I had read an article on bb.com that the 3 largest areas are your legs, back, and chest.  Knowing that for every pound of muscle you gain, you’ll burn an extra 50 calories. Goal: Build the largest muscles!

I must not have been lifting properly because the next day, I was sore! It was hard for me to lift my hands in the air, especially on my right side. I began icing and stretching it but the pain would not subside. 

I went to a doctor who recommended that I not work that muscle group for a while.  Problem was, I couldn’t move my right arm, period!  I had trouble doing my hair, getting dressed, everything! I did accupuncture, massage, heat/ice theraphy, physical therapy, everything!  At the end of February, the pain subsided a bit, but not without having to pretty much ride the bench for 4 weeks.  I basically had to start back over in March, taking the first 2 weeks easy.

So today I thought I’d do chest. Hell, it has been 8 weeks.  I took the smallest bar I could find and after a 5 minute warm up on the elliptical, I hit the incline press.  On rep 3, I could feel the tightness coming back on my right pectoral.  Rep 4 was worse, and rep 5 I had to stop.  I got up and stretched my right prectoral out and the pain went shooting down my arm.  I sat down in the gym and just cried.

 I cannot believe this is happening. I’m glad it’s my pectorals over let’s say my legs, but still, I cannot believe I’m injured this soon into the game.  I had to stop just because I knew I’d hurt myself and be sidelined for another 4 weeks and then ALL of my muscles would go catabolic.  Not what I wanted.  So after pouting for 5 minutes in the corner, I got up, grabbed the cow balls (aka the rope thingy) plugged in 40 pounds and did some tricep pulldowns.  Felt good. So I did some more at 50 and 60 and then I finished up with 3 more tricep exercises.  First time I’ve cried in the gym, hopefully the last time.  Hopefully my chest heals well and SOON!

I AM F**KING MOTIVATED!!!!

I have not had any slip ups in 3 whole weeks. I don’t crave, want, even look at CRAP and I’m content with this.  I AM F**KING MOTIVATED!!!!

My job has put me in a new detail for a while. This is a pretty CRAP infested place!!  There are cupcakes all around, a gdman chocolate cake, and seems like everyone has a candy jar on their desk.  I don’t want any of it.

Yesterday, this fat lady at my new assignment said “there is some chocolate cake that so and so brought in.”  I told her I wasn’t interested.  She apparently was appalled I didn’t want the fat and she kept pestering me. She must have sat there and asked me a million f**king times if I wanted some cake. “Are you sure? It’s so decadent!”  I finally snapped, “YES! I’m positive! I don’t eat sugar!” She was pretty pissed off but wtf do I can -  I am f**king FOCUSED.  I AM MOTIVATED.  NO BAD DAYS. NO TIME FOR NEGATIVE VIBES! To be polite, if someone offers me some CRAP, I’ll accept it but turn right around and throw it in the garbage.  I don’t want it. 

I’ve been slammed personally with having to pay out my butt for taxes when I lived in Chicago.  $2300 for living there only 3 months in 2007! GRRRR.  Normally, I’d grab a pint of B&J, grab a menthol, and eat and puff away. I cannot believe how long I’ve gone without slipping up… and I won’t.  I CANNOT.  I have to seriously give big ups to ChickenTuna’s website right now.  I see the world in a whole new perspective now because of it.  I spend probably too much time here on BB.com but the people who are so positive and inspirational make that time worth it.  I read at least 2 articles a day and make sure I understand what I’m reading. 

So I made a sign for my office that says “NO JUNK FOOD ALLOWED” … one of the agents came in and said “define junk.”  So I did. I put a list of only the acceptable items allowed in my office.  (for a complete listing, see CT’s plain foods list). That’s it.  This morning people gave me attitude for it, tempting me with yummy goodness but in the end, I think they get it. They get that I am truly f**king motivated and I’m on a rampage. Nothing is stopping me now.  I’ve gone this far and haven’t made any excuses and there will be no more ever again. I’ll never make an excuse again for slipping up.  I am the only person in charge of me.  I am motivated beyond anything I ever thought I could be.   Never again will I allow myself to say “maybe this beer just this once…” or “perhaps I’ll just try one piece of pizza…” What for?  Do I enjoy eating clean and waking up at 4:30 every morning? HELL NO. I hate every piece of food I put in my mouth (except sweet potatoes, haha) but I choose fit over fat.  I have pinpointed my faults and realized what I need to do to fix them. NO MORE EXCUSES